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Tonight I drank a bit and noticed that when I concentrated on thinking more (specifically Ni) that I disconnected completely from Se as opposed to having a normal balance with it. This for me causes derealization, where I feel strangely disconnected from reality.

Derealization is a strange feeling, which I have only otherwise experienced through an anxiety attack. However sometimes I almost feel that derealization 'connects' me through a different sense of reality. It's like I almost feel like I'm on another plane of existence, ignoring all senses of reality in order to dive into all information that is hidden.

This of course doesn't make any clear sense so I'm wondering if any of you also experience this or have experienced it. I'm also curious whether you think derealization unlocks a sense of 'mystery' that is only knowable through derealization. It seems very strange to me whenever I experience - of course it doesn't feel normal, but I can't quite describe the feeling of it. Almost mystical I guess.
 

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Yeah something like this has happened to me a few times before...but nothing that I freaked out about. And no I don't drink or do drugs, never have never will. But this has happened to me before. I feel like there's a mental switch in perspective, it's an entirely new feeling that most normal people wouldn't be able to imagine. it's one of those things where you don't really know what it feels like until you've experienced it.
Although is there any more explination you can give me because there's so many different experiences I've had with this...that I've somewhat categorized them...although not conciously. lol...if that makes sense.
 

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I feel like I'm always sort of on the verge. I sometimes feel like I'm floating on a different level of understanding of the world, compared to other people...If that makes any sense. Like I'm able to look at the big picture, while others are only concerned with their own moments. But I don't think that other's are stupid, I just feel like I'm blessed. ^^'''
 

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It's like watching the world through a clouded sheet of glass or on a television screen. A very peculiar sensation indeed. It is as though I'm some sort of metaphysical anomaly drifting through a dreamworld. I'm standing right there but it feels as though I'm observing it from a distance. It can become a little unnerving at times and is usually worse during the daytime when I'm tired.

It doesn't require alcohol for me though. I dread to think what would happen if I drank.

I can use my Se quite aptly if I choose to but it requires concentration. It's not something that comes naturally to me as it seems to with other people.
 

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That happens to me, and fairly often. There is this one scene in Wings of Desire that I wish I could show you. The whole movie is, to me, a metaphor about the spirit taking earthly form in order to experience life, just as an experience.

In this one particular scene, you see from the perspective of the angel. He's zipping through subway cars and city streets, hearing thoughts of the people there. It's all flashes of light and sound, and you've seen this before in the movie at different times. But then the perspective changes - and the camera is facing the angel. He's just standing there, everything around him black, he's expressionless - just observing. And you see flashes of light reflecting just on his face - you can see what he's observing reflected there, but he is not part of it, he's not affected by it, he's not even on the same plane. He's just observing.

I believe, at our ultimate, we are static. We observe and we make decisions. All the rest is merely a game we're playing.

I actually think INFJs and INFPs are somewhat more spiritually evolved than other types, or perhaps spiritually honest is the better term. I suppose that's why seeing a thread titled "The Chosen Ones" doesn't surprise me. INFJs are supposedly more likely to be psychic, and I don't think one can have these kinds of abilities without having made some progression in spiritual development.
 

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It's interesting you mention this...I think a lot of people would think it sounded fake, but I completely understand what you're talking about! I get this way when I drink (too much), when I have panic attacks, and I think other random times, although I can't pinpoint the trigger.

For me, it's almost like watching a movie as a third party; just observing life without being there.
Part of this I've chalked up to being an HSP- when I'm very overstimulated, this can happen. But sometimes it happens at random times, and I'm not sure why that is.

It's not just INFJs who have surreal or spiritual experiences like this, right?
 

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That happens to me, and fairly often. There is this one scene in Wings of Desire that I wish I could show you. The whole movie is, to me, a metaphor about the spirit taking earthly form in order to experience life, just as an experience.

In this one particular scene, you see from the perspective of the angel. He's zipping through subway cars and city streets, hearing thoughts of the people there. It's all flashes of light and sound, and you've seen this before in the movie at different times. But then the perspective changes - and the camera is facing the angel. He's just standing there, everything around him black, he's expressionless - just observing. And you see flashes of light reflecting just on his face - you can see what he's observing reflected there, but he is not part of it, he's not affected by it, he's not even on the same plane. He's just observing.
Sounds like a movie I want to see!
 

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This of course doesn't make any clear sense so I'm wondering if any of you also experience this or have experienced it. I'm also curious whether you think derealization unlocks a sense of 'mystery' that is only knowable through derealization. It seems very strange to me whenever I experience - of course it doesn't feel normal, but I can't quite describe the feeling of it. Almost mystical I guess.

Yeah. I felt it for a few years after having a lot of anxiety. The thing about derealization/depersonalization is that there is no way to understand it. It's life. It's as mysterious as life and the state of existence. That's really what it is in my opinion. When the mind's focus is turned inward and everything just seems really strange like a movie or something. I always felt like a goldfish looking out of the bowl and my body was just there. But everyone has their own take on it. I felt more of depersonalization to where I felt like I didn't know who I was, or what I was, or what anything is. Like being alive is just weird.

It was a really bothersome experience that learned to overcome by not focusing on it. There was no way to outsmart it. i just had to outlive it, or something. Focusing on other things is what made me overcome it.

Life still feels kind of weird sometimes, like a weird feeling about reality. But yeah, I felt it through panic attacks. i was actually wanted to make a thread like this. Thanks for bringing up the topic.

Oh but yeah. i forgot to mention I first felt it as a kid like once or twice. but then seriously when I was high. And also more these days when I'm buzzed/drunkish. I don't tend to get drunk. but yeah.
 

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I'm experiencing a mild state of derealization at this moment. It's something I've experienced fairly regularly my whole life, that I labeled as some kind of out of body experience. I once took a very small single dose of an anti-anxiety medication that left me pretty jittery for most of that day, but after 12 hours or so, I began to sense a change in how I was experiencing reality. It was an exponential shift. I was sitting down at the time, looked to my left through a doorway, and then the room beyond the doorway began to move closer to me, while everything else was stationary. I said to a nurse, "I feel anxious right now..." and as I said it I felt as though they did not come from me, and that what I had thought was "me" was disappearing from this new reality. I felt disconnected from others, as though no one could understand me in even the most fundamental sense. Suddenly, it was as though I was behind a pane of glass in non-reality, that I wasn't real, that NOTHING, including the experience was real. It lasted for about half an hour, and was terrifying, but I was very numb and disconnected (difficult to describe.) Through that particular experience I learned the term "derealization," and it helped contextualize all the, what I'd previously deemed, "out of body experiences." It's similar to what I feel when I have anxiety attacks, but most often those feelings come at random, mundane moments. Looking back on it now, I feel as though its an inversion of the intensity of psychological experience and physical experience.

Is any of this readable?
 

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I don't drink too much or do I do drugs, but I also experience derealization in low intensities, especially when I feel anxious for no apparent reason. TBH, I do wonder if I have some sort of mental disorder, perhaps even in a mild form, as derealization and depersonalization are considered to be symptoms. (forgive me for being ridiculously scientific.)
 

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It's my usual state of mind lol I didn't know there was a name for it.

But yeah, most days it feels as if they're not real, as if I'm just floating around a formless dream. Events, interactions and memories all seem so distant and bubbly.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
...I said to a nurse, "I feel anxious right now..." and as I said it I felt as though they did not come from me, and that what I had thought was "me" was disappearing from this new reality. I felt disconnected from others, as though no one could understand me in even the most fundamental sense. Suddenly, it was as though I was behind a pane of glass in non-reality, that I wasn't real, that NOTHING, including the experience was real.
I actually think INFJs and INFPs are somewhat more spiritually evolved than other types, or perhaps spiritually honest is the better term. I suppose that's why seeing a thread titled "The Chosen Ones" doesn't surprise me. INFJs are supposedly more likely to be psychic, and I don't think one can have these kinds of abilities without having made some progression in spiritual development.
When I was 13, I stayed up way too late, drank too many energy drinks, and remember sitting on the couch with friends staring at a wall. I remember saying, "I feel like I don't exist." And I meant it. They laughed and I think I laughed in my head but I didn't really react. It was like I had separated my mind from my body; the body was dead, or merely a vessel, yet the mind was completely alive.

I don't necessarily think that this is being psychic or whatever; it's just the INFJ normally isn't in touch with the body, with the reality, so he learns to understand it through the mind. I think INTJs experience the same thing, they just process it differently...it gives them more of a sense of groundedness, I would think, rather than the soft, ethereal presentation of the general INFJ. Probably also why INFJs develop into Type 4s as well...would make sense that they feel disconnected from others.

Yeah. I felt it for a few years after having a lot of anxiety. The thing about derealization/depersonalization is that there is no way to understand it. It's life. It's as mysterious as life and the state of existence. That's really what it is in my opinion. When the mind's focus is turned inward and everything just seems really strange like a movie or something. I always felt like a goldfish looking out of the bowl and my body was just there. But everyone has their own take on it. I felt more of depersonalization to where I felt like I didn't know who I was, or what I was, or what anything is. Like being alive is just weird.
Yes, yes. This is exactly it, and it drives me crazy. There have been a couple times recently where I've tried to reach this level of detachment in order to understand it, but here's the crazy thing - you cannot understand the observations you are analyzing from this level of detached perspective without some sort of tangible information. Even if we are greatly detached, we are still using Se to such a basic extent, that is where we get our information to analyze with Ni. But in derealization, you are analyzing Ni information with Ni...there's no way to truly grasp it.

So comes in spirituality. I wonder if 'transcendence' really is possible to get in touch with.
 

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@Lost in Oblivion
@modernclassical

I actually went to a general doctor after having the severe panic attack then led me to a depersonalized feeling. I was 17. I went there with my mom and I just told the doctor "I don't feel real" and he didn't have a clue. But the feeling was so intense. It was like I was looking through a window, or I was in a fish bowl or something.

It wasn't me. I felt like the life I lived didn't make sense. It was really in one instance I felt like I had no identity. Right before the panic attack I was laughing with friends at a park. In general I had felt more stressed out those days from a lack of sleep and confidence. But in one instance my entire existence shifted. I went to school the next day and didn't know who I was or what I was doing. The group of friends I had didn't mean anything to me.

Before school started I would usually hang out with them in the library and in the halls. But instead I sat by myself in an empty hallway not knowing what anything meant anymore. It was really strange how I could go from being myself one day, to not knowing who I was for the next 2 years. I rejected everything I knew because I was so detached from it. All of my friends made no sense to me. I didn't make sense to me. Whenever I spoke it didn't feel like my voice. And it felt like it echoed or lingered in my mind. My anxiety was so severe though, that I could barely make it through the day at school. I got really depressed and had to go to an alternative/self-pace high school. (which btw I graduated my senior year in 8 weeks so I felt kind of cool but not really) by then I didn't want any friends at all because interacting with people was weird. I stopped talking for the next year and lost my ability to articulate things. It was just really weird talking.

Derealization/depersonalization doesn't have to be related to mental illness. In my case it was. It was one of the most confusing things I had to overcome. But I almost felt that if it went away that I would forget who I was, even though I already forgot who I was anyway. But oh well, the medicine I take now has helped with anxiety and made it less scary whenever I do feel it. I still feel it every now and then but I know it goes away so it doesn't concern me as much.
 

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It's not just INFJs who have surreal or spiritual experiences like this, right?
I just found this thread from a Google search and figured I'd chip in. As 'Lost in Oblivian' stated, INTJs are also very prone to derealization. For me personally, I've always experienced derealization off and on to some extent, but I went through a bout of severe depersonalization and derealization about a year ago that prompted me to research what was going on with my head, which is when I first discovered what derealization and depersonalization are.

From what I've found, Introverted Intuition types are the most likely to consistently experience derealization. I love being an INTJ, but I guess derealization is just the price that has to be paid for being an IN.

Has anyone had success softening the effects of derealization?
 

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That happens to me, and fairly often. There is this one scene in Wings of Desire that I wish I could show you. The whole movie is, to me, a metaphor about the spirit taking earthly form in order to experience life, just as an experience.
@Melanthe Good chance you can find this scene on youtube (and post here). Would be good to see it.
 

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I didn't think I could relate to this feeling, but today I realized that it actually happens to me quite often when I have to speak up in front of a group. Suddenly it feels like my voice doesn't belong to me anymore and that talking is the most unnatural thing in the world. I feel like an alien that took possesion of someone elses body for a moment, and I don't have complete control over it. -_- Or is this perhaps depersonalization? I'm new to these concepts. It's probably linked to some anxiety for me as well.
 

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Derealization to me is truly terrifying and it happens to me way more than I would like it to.

In my mind, derealization is this feeling of rapid full on awareness that you are in your body, seeing through your eyes and no one else and you've been living in this perspective your whole life. It's the scary realization that you are you on a complete physical and mental level. It's that higher plane thinking of awareness of oneself and sometimes others. It has caused me breakdowns and I don't like this feeling at all though it makes me feel wise in some sense. I've always wanted to write an essay of some sort about it but I can't find the right words to relay it to other people.

Situations like this cause me to believe INFJs are probably really good at meditating or at least me personally.
 
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