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305 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Well, I've made a ton of poetry over the last year. Several of them bubbling with emotion. Dark, decrepit emotion! Haha. I suppose I'll make a habit of posting my poetry here. Criticism is embraced by the way.

My first poem takes the stance of my religious views as well as certain events that took place in my life. My best friend gave me the idea to write about atheism.

The second one is much darker and inconsistent. I want to improve upon it, but I can't quite think how. :/


I look straight forward, without a glance back,
Searching through the heavens, the light of my sin’s wrath,
Seeking absolute truth, I brush wayward thoughts away,
Hoping for a sign, merely to be led astray.

Brought into deception, I give it no thought,
I look toward the ground, tending a cure for distraught,
Rejecting their paradise, I return it no heed,
Without those binding chains, I realize I’m free.

To build upon my utopia, I begin clearly at once,
Forgetting my past, my unerring thoughts,
My unadorned memory, shallow and dead,
I start a new life, without god; enough said.

Their seething hatred, and their abiding laws,
All hold no ground, no content to be saw,
Isolated and alone, I continue on my path,
Known as a heretic, religious traitor until death.


I feel completely lost, with nowhere to go,
My heartbeat has stopped, encasing my soul,
The darkness it comes, at the peak of the night,
Entombed in my sorrow, for everyone's delight.

Enthralled in this misery, I continue alone.
Searching for a light, a sanctum of my own,
Moving as a shadow, an unknown fease,
Looking for a reason, a reason to simply be.

During all of my travels, I've felt nothing at all,
Moving as a corpse, with no future or fall,
With a lack of emotion, no desire to be,
I drown out reality, creating no bonds to be seen.

I lay here in this wasteland, frozen and free,
Now and forever, trapped in eternity,
I look straight up, towards the dark and starry sky,
Nevermore to dream, only to lay here and die.

4,210 Posts
Both of these sound like they could have been written about me, especially Heretic. I think they're both great, by the way. =)

305 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Why thank you Azrael! I'm always glad to find people I can relate to.

111 Posts
I like your stuff very much, you say the things that I feel but can't express.
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