[nightowl]

It has been talked about before that some people detach and compartmentalize their relationship with people. How many here can be around people but when you leave you dont give a second thought about them till the next time you meet up again. How do people react if they meet one of the people you know and it strikes them as strange because they have never met them or thought you would never be around such people.

Do you seperate and let other parts of your being come up only around certain people and how do you turn it off when its no longer needed.

 

[Elysia]

I don't intentionally compartmentalize my relationships with people but I don't make an effort to introduce the people from different sectors in my life to each other. It's not that I don't want them to know each other, I just don't see the need because I personally wouldn't care about knowing someone from the other parts of my friends' life. However my close friends know each other and I would never compartmentalize close friends into different compartments, that would be weird. In fact I'd love it if all my close friends loved to hang out with each other but that isn't exactly the case, so the fault is on their end :crazy:

I do find myself not giving people a second thought until I see them again, mostly with non-close friends though I sometimes do that with close friends too

I don't think I've ever been in the situation where I'm with someone who my friends would never expect me to hang around with as I avoid people if they aren't the kind of people I want to hang out with. However when they do meet people that that they haven't met they don't find it strange, this may be however because those people aren't my close friends so it's not strange at all.

 

[nightowl]

I do find myself not giving people a second thought until I see them again, mostly with non-close friends though I sometimes do that with close friends too

I too dont give a second thought until i see them again. Guess i am just able to shut that part off cause i think its not necessary.

I don't intentionally compartmentalize my relationships with people but I don't make an effort to introduce the people from different sectors in my life to each other. It's not that I don't want them to know each other, I just don't see the need because I personally wouldn't care about knowing someone from the other parts of my friends' life.

Each of the people i know i treat individually as best i can. If they somehow run into another and find they know me well then those things "happen." I have never been one of those who say " oh, you need to meet my friend so and so", i have never done that.

 

[Elysia]

It normally is unnecessary. The only reason I would be thinking about a friend is if they were say, asking for my advice, and I'd then be thinking about their problem and how to solve it. Why else would one think about a friend? I should probably be asking that question in another forum :crazy:

I guess I'd only go "oh, you need to meet my friend so and so" if I thought they were really compatible as to me it'd be doing them a favour in a way. I'd certainly want to be introduced to people who were of the 'potential close friend' type as it means I don't have to approach people :wink:

 

[nightowl]

It normally is unnecessary. The only reason I would be thinking about a friend is if they were say, asking for my advice, and I'd then be thinking about their problem and how to solve it. Why else would one think about a friend?

I think we all have met those people that just pour on the talk about their friends. They feel the need to go into alot of detail about their friends.

 

[Elysia]

*Tries to search brain for such an experience*

Is drawing a blank ...wait got one!

Yes, I do see what you mean, though for me it's normally they are gossiping about someone that I don't know *yawn*

I must admit however that I am guilty of rambling on about what my friends did etc when I can't think of anything interesting to say about myself (if I find myself in a chit-chat situation) :frustrating:

 

[Achi]

Yep. Some people I know don't know certain things about me that others do. Like only my friends who I drew with knew I liked to draw. Only the people I scanlated / read manga with knew I liked manga and anime. Only certain people know I can hack. This can go on forever. I only show certain sides of myself to certain people, though the longer you're around me the more sides you'll see.

I don't really think of people I'm not currently around either.

 

[Obstructions]

Compartmentalize = sort of making them a different part of your life? A bad example would be a double life, but basically the same big picture, yes? Then yeah, I do that. I act in completely different ways in front of some people than I do with others.

As for things coming up, I'm not really the one to go out to spread my fun facts about life, but if they ask I'll spill them. I just need to be prodded, and if they don't ask about a certain subject, they'll probably never know.

 

[Elysia]

Yep. Some people I know don't know certain things about me that others do.
I only show certain sides of myself to certain people, though the longer you're around me the more sides you'll see.

I act in completely different ways in front of some people than I do with others.

As for things coming up, I'm not really the one to go out to spread my fun facts about life, but if they ask I'll spill them. I just need to be prodded, and if they don't ask about a certain subject, they'll probably never know.

Story of my life pretty much. Only my very close friends know most of my sides.

I think most people act different with different people e.g. parents/teachers/friends/peers but as to whether ISTJs do it to a higher degree I have no idea.

I also usually don't have a problem with voicing my opinions / facts about my life either but will only do so if asked.

 

[nightowl]

I also usually don't have a problem with voicing my opinions / facts about my life either but will only do so if asked.

At this time in my life if i get asked that i will give my opinion cause you only have got one life. Yet, i dont feel the need to just ramble on cause now i really find that annoying!!:angry:

 

[nosilla]

I do this- I have my separate little groups. But right now in my life, it seems that all that's happening is one-on-one interaction with other people. I am rarely ever in a group of people nowadays.
I do introduce some of my friends to each other if I think they would get something out of a relationship. Maybe they both have the same interest, but they don't have someone to talk about it with. But I never, ever say, "Oh, I would like to introduce you to this friend of mine..." No no no. I plan a little secretive meet-up (usually I just double book my meetups and make it appear as a "Oh hey! I never thought I would run into you here..." *wink*). I try to make it last about five to ten minutes, and I always have an escape plan in mind just in case someone looks uncomfortable. Every time I have attempted this (less than 15 times), they've always been chit-chatting away while I say "bye," but they never hear me. ¬_¬
I used to think that being yourself meant that you are the same person around everybody that you interact with (family, friends, mentors, coworkers, colleagues, ect), but I've come to the opposite conclusion now. To be dynamic is a great thing, and I strive to be that way now, in my own little ISTJ way.

 

[Qadosh]

I think we all have met those people that just pour on the talk about their friends. They feel the need to go into alot of detail about their friends.

I found this to be true when I had an ENFJ friend. I thought it was annoying because I didn't know most of the people she was talking about, nor did I care in the least.

I only show certain sides of myself to certain people, though the longer you're around me the more sides you'll see.

I do exactly this as well. I don't intentionally do it or even really give it much thought, nor do I know why. Niss probably knows why.

 

[niss]

I do exactly this as well. I don't intentionally do it or even really give it much thought, nor do I know why. Niss probably knows why.

You learn about yourself by observing your actions and thinking about the corresponding motivation. Now that you've seen the action, what do you think is your motivation? Be brutally honest in this assessment.

 

[Qadosh]

You learn about yourself by observing your actions and thinking about the corresponding motivation. Now that you've seen the action, what do you think is your motivation? Be brutally honest in this assessment.

I'm drawing a blank. :mellow: I really don't know.

 

[niss]

I'm drawing a blank. :mellow: I really don't know.

Ok, we know that you only show certain parts of yourself to certain people, but that as time progresses you are willing to show more of yourself to those same people. This is actually normal of most people, but ISTJs can be a bit extreme about it.

Break it down:

You are in a school setting and you are talking to a teacher or some other staff. What are you willing to relate to them about yourself? What are you unwilling to relate to them about yourself? Why?

Same questions for an "at work" relationship.

Same questions for a "hanging with a bud" relationship.

Same questions for a girl you just met that you'd like to date.

Same questions for a girl that you've been dating for six months.

What is different? Why is it different?

 

[niss]

^^I've answered this in another, more recent post. Qadosh, are you bailing on me?

 

[Qadosh]

^^I've answered this in another, more recent post. Qadosh, are you bailing on me?

I've just had no motivation to post lately.:mellow:

 

[MonieJ]

It has been talked about before that some people detach and compartmentalize their relationship with people. How many here can be around people but when you leave you dont give a second thought about them till the next time you meet up again. How do people react if they meet one of the people you know and it strikes them as strange because they have never met them or thought you would never be around such people.

Do you seperate and let other parts of your being come up only around certain people and how do you turn it off when its no longer needed.

yeah I do that!!! Like I don't know but I really hate when my friends come over because I feel as if they are one part of my life and family is another lol so I tend to go to their house or aprtment then vice versa