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Discussion Starter #1
Hi all, I've been struggling to try and figure out my tritype. If you could give me feedback, that would be awesome. I also posted in the general Type Me forum, but I didn't get any responses except someone suggesting I try the Enneagram forum instead. I didn't fill out a questionnaire there (they feel stilted, plus the way people choose to describe themselves shows their personality as well, I feel), but I wrote quite a bit if you'd like supplemental information.

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I'm not 100% sure about everything that drives me. I feel like my emotions kind of take me on lots of side quests that end up being incorporated in main quests in my life. So I've learned to let go and sort of trust in my natural instincts and curiosity, instead of forcing myself to stay on an exact course. I would say that in a career, I want to do something that helps people but also makes money in an ethical way. I like things that are anomalous, but not artificially so. I like to understand how systems work, and then tweak those systems to get optimal results. I'm often improving my workplace, myself, my house, just because I enjoy putting my mark on things. When I walk around my workplace and see all of the systems I've made, it feels like a piece of me is there, helping everyone. I love the idea of doing a relatively small thing on my part which makes my life and everyone else's life much easier for a long time.​
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I want to invent things to achieve a small semblance of immortality. Basically, I feel like my thoughts are pieces of me, and that inventions are the physical manifestation of thoughts. I am not religious, and I think that when people die, that's it - a harsh perspective, but it seems to be what actually happens. I don't want to flinch away from that and live a fantasy life. I don't want to have kids, so my biological immortality is not possible. But if I make something cool that is used for a long time, then a piece of me still exists in a way. Everything we are surrounded by in our homes was thought of by someone. I'd like to add my brick to the pyramid of human innovation.​
3. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
I believe strongly in personal autonomy, informed consent, seeing reality for what it actually is (not what I want it to be; not what other people want it to be; not how humans, in their limited, arrogant perspective think the world is), being authentic, humility, not alienating people or abusing them, being genuinely supportive of people. I do not like dogma, selfishness, head-in-the-sand, people who don't think about the long term effects before they act, malicious gossip (venting is okay and understandable), shallow insults (who really cares if someone is ugly?).​

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
I think I've lived most of my biggest fears and conquered them. It wasn't pleasant, it was hard, but I did it. I fear being controlled/manipulated, particularly in a covert way. I focus a lot on my partners and friends, and some of them have turned out to have very destructive motivations. I fear the collapse of society and homelessness and starvation. I am afraid that I or my friends will lack information about something and will suffer for it.​

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I don't care to give off a particular impression, however, I want people to feel like they can tell me anything. I want people to trust me to be on their side. I want people to respect what I have to say, but if I'm wrong I want them to disagree. That can be kind of hard, because I have a lot of conviction and so people usually just go along with me. So I try to soften myself a bit to get accurate answers. I feel like I easily alienate and intimidate people as well, so I make an effort to show people what I have in common with them and to let them know I like things about them, too. I'm not the type of person to be mean about people's sensitivities - but I will 100% yell at someone who is treating myself or another person badly.​
I see myself as a weird mash of characteristics. I love people a lot, but I withdraw from everyone for periods of time to just think and read. I'm normally happy and exuberant, able to take charge and suffer through any hardship; but then I have times where I don't want to do much except think about my emotions and very emotional past experiences and situations. I get along really well with most people, yet I'm blunt and abrupt and step on toes.​

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when everything in my life is going very smoothly. I have systems I put in place, and the systems are running how I expected and I'm able to move on and learn more and create more. I also love dating a lot, and I feel the best when I'm dating multiple people (I am polyamorous); and I love when all of my friends and partners are happy. I like it when my body is how I want it to be, my finances are taken care of, my responsibilities are taken care of, I feel intelligent and clear-headed. At my worst, I'm the opposite of all of that, self destructive, chaotic, rebelling against the shackles that people and society place on me which I did not consent to.​

7. Describe how you experience each of:
a) anger: I either explode with intense aggression (I jokingly call that my mini-Trex mode), or I turn cold, calculating, seething. Either way, the problem/issue is getting fucking fixed - and sometimes that means my own mindset has to change.​
b) shame: I think I carry/carried a lot of shame with me. It wasn't until very recently that I connected the word "shame" with the actually sensation I feel. I previously thought it was milder and I didn't have a name for the more intense version. Now that I've identified it, I've been able to sort out where my sources of shame stem from and I'm much better at relaxing, reminding myself to be humble, and putting the shame back on the other person. It's a work in progress.​
c) anxiety: I'm only anxious if I put things off. Otherwise, I trust that I'll handle whatever the future brings.​

8. Describe how you respond to each of:
a) stress: I'm pretty uncomfortable with being stressed. I usually try to confront my stressors directly so I don't feel stressed any more. I do not like leaving stressful things open-ended.​
b) unexpected change: I remind myself that resilient people are the most successful and happiest people in life, and are usually adaptable. I try to cultivate adaptability in myself. I try to be opportunistic when times change, but I get overwhelmed if I feel like my systems get all messed up and I have to fix a lot of things that I previously thought were completed.​
c) conflict: I don't mind conflict or disagreement at all. It's inevitable and not a big deal. I don't like when I get angry in disagreements because I think it's more effective to remain calm and fair, giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. If I expect people to be shitty, then I will act shitty and so will they; conversely, even if they are being grouchy or whatever, if I act nice and fair then typically they will and we'll come to some sort of resolution.​

9. Describe your orientation/How you respond to:
a) authority: I don't understand why hierarchies/titles are even a thing. I feel like everyone is exactly equal to me. If you are right and effective, then you have natural authority. Natural authority will always get what it wants over artificial authority.​
b) power: I don't know that I really get what power is about; it's such a negative word. I want to be equal to people. I don't want to suppress them - a lot of times, other people see things I don't see! I do like being able to make sure the plan I think is best is effected, because I don't really trust other people to be as fair or mindful. I like having my own autonomy, but I want everyone else to have theirs, too.​

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
It oscillates between the joy of everything life offers: the beautiful, the agonizing, the interesting, the colorful, the things that bring me to my knees. And then there's the depressing stuff, like how little ability I have to fix the big problems in the world; how I will never know all there is to know; how there is no way to know what I don't know; how many human experiences I will miss out on because there's just not enough time; how disgustingly violent and horrible the human race has been and is. The passing of time in particular is depressing and joyful to me at the same time. I'm an absurdist, so I think that life is ultimately meaningless and that I bring my own meaning to my life.​
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