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Well, based on your explanation, it's entirely possible that you could be an ESFJ. The cognitive functions (Fe, Si, Ne, Ti) would make the most sense to me, based on what I've read because with a dominant Fe function, you would be very outgoing and people-oriented (which could account for your volunteering and such!). The SJ combination accounts for your dutiful nature (military involvement, for example.). It's also important to note that many people with these functions often surprise others with how crazy their out-of-work lives can be (accounting for your numerous unique hobbies!), which makes them loyal and dutiful during work/military events, but a lot more "crazy" in their personal lives.

Both ESFJ and ISFJ types have the same functions in a different order, and ISFJ could be another possible answer if you believe that the Si function of the four listed is more dominant than your Fe, but given your unsure language to SI vs Se, I would assume that Fe is the dominant function.
 
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