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Discussion Starter #1
Hello all! I will start off being honest- when sitting down to write all this out, I started getting agitated/nervous because I am terrible at communicating clear/concisely. I have all sorts of thoughts that I want to get down on paper or tell someone, yet don't know the best way to get all of my points across. So I actually wrote this out on a word document before posting it here just to get everything down, look at my writing better, and then edit to make it sound better afterwards.

So I've pretty much suffered from terrible low self-esteem my entire life (starting from age 5 or 6 as I can remember), and this turned into general and social anxiety, which then ended up with me having on and off depressive states as of late. When I came across MBTI a few months back, I was typed initially as an INFP through 16 personalities. I felt intrigued because frankly I wanted to learn about myself and also meet online others similar to me. Of course, then I learned about the cognitive functions and how it's better to determine by yourself what you are. I gravitated more towards this because typing someone's cognitive functions seems much more straight forward and easier to grasp (and going to say this in the most non-scientific way possible, more "scientific"…more reliable) than typing someone's personality. Obviously, humans are more complex than MBTI makes us out to be, but yeah, cognitive typing>personality. I just want to leave my explanation at that because I can probably write (i.e. ramble) a lot more about my conclusion on that topic, half of which may not make any sense. lol

I've spent most of my adolescence trying to figure myself out. Who am I, what type of person do I want to be, should be, etc. just so I can make something out of my life instead of being in a blah-depressive state constantly. So whenever I come across something like MBTI whose purpose is to categorize the human psyche, I became nearly obsessed with determining my type. Unfortunately, this led to me probably thinking too deeply (or maybe not…maybe I'm thinking as much as anyone else about this. Hell, maybe there are tons of people with mental illness who still are able to type themselves in a reliable manner) and every other day I was able to convince myself I was a different type—INFP, ISFP, ESFP, ENFP, INFJ, INTJ, INTP, ISTP, ISFJ, ISTJ, etc you get the picture.

To make things worse, my self esteem issues don't allow me to judge myself in an objective way; I just automatically think anything positive about a type doesn't fit me (e.g. if a type is creative, analytical, intelligent, detail oriented, notices things easily, etc, I think "that can't be me. Too good to be true"). Finally, I just seem to be all over the place constantly, so it seems like I've used every function at least once in my life. When depression hits, something like "Ni" occurs- that voice in the back of my head and my gut feeling turns to "Let's be honest. You'll probably make nothing out of your life.", or when anxiety comes around, "Ne" hits- "Maybe I should go to the party. I might have fun. Or maybe it'll turn really bad. X might happen instead. Oh no. What do I do?"

Okay….so yeah you guys can probably see my issues. XD I don't know if anyone can make out my type at all with my rambling. I wish I could make things shorter and easier to read, but I appreciate anyone reading what I wrote and helping me out (you're the real MVP). Despite me not fully understanding about myself, here are things I can DEFINITELY tell you:

>I suffer from something called "maladaptive daydreaming". I won't go into too much detail, but basically it's a condition where I daydream constantly to the point where it's addictive/takes over my life. I've had trouble developing hobbies and interests because of this. My daydreams are anything from fictional characters/fictional couples, to my future, to conversations I want to have with people, to scenarios I want to be in, etc.

>Some themes in my day dreams are something to do with being noticed somehow. Noticed for how I am different. Noticed for how talented I am. Noticed for my beauty. Noticed for how I can impact someone in a positive way, or change their life. Etc etc. Probably strongly related to low self esteem issues.

>To an extent, I am affected by things around me…sensory things if you will. This could be because, as a human being, I have to have some sort of "sensation" in my life at the very least...or I could be a natural sensor. No clue. But anyways, things like the weather might affect me a bit. I am happier when it's sunny (but since I live in a place with awful weather usually, I can just "deal" with it and still immerse myself in my own world). I do notice some things like if someone walking by me is physically attractive. I also really like seeing things with bright colors. Like I'll see a car in a sea of greys and browns with a nice shade of blue, or something, and appreciate it.

>I don't have the best memory, but I remember very emotional events. I can remember every emotion I felt during that time.

>I think I am an introvert. Part of it is the social anxiety- I want to get the hell away from social situations because I think they will go bad eventually. But there are times when I am with my very close friends…and after a while, I just want to go back to my place and be by myself. Watching something on Netflix. Etc. However, when social situations are going very well, I am often described as "bubbly" and "playful"; often true when I am with someone I am comfortable with, either someone close to me or someone who seems trust-worthy/less judgmental of me.

Again, whoever manages to read through this, thank you very much for your help! I dearly wish I could've made things shorter to read and easier to understand. But either way, you have no idea what this means to me.
 

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Type yourself partly on the basis of what you were like before your mental health problems became clinically significant (but be careful about going back too far because youngsters' personalities aren't completely developed).

Get input from people who know you well.

Given that you have trouble recognizing yourself in the positive descriptions of the types, try the descriptions of what each type needs to improve.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Definitely will try asking other folks! The others are actually very good suggestions as well, although I can't seem to find what the negative sides of each MBTI function is. Some threads describe it as complete dependence on inferior function. Some describe it as over indulgence of dominant function and becoming too much their type. Others describe the Dom-tert loops. And then there are the shadow functions. So what would I focus on learning about if I were to determine what "unhealthy" MBTI type I am?
 

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I really think the cause of my mental illness is too much thinking.

When i stopped thinking i am okay.

The moment i start thinking i mental ill baby
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I see what you're saying! I'm not sure if I fully agree that overthinking is the cause of mental illness...maybe in some cases; there's a higher chance of it being due to brain chemistry as in schizophrenia, abuse/trauma, low self esteem stemming from a young age- as is my case, unhealthy lifestyle, etc etc. overthinking seems to be more of an aftermath in my case haha
 

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Definitely will try asking other folks! The others are actually very good suggestions as well, although I can't seem to find what the negative sides of each MBTI function is. Some threads describe it as complete dependence on inferior function. Some describe it as over indulgence of dominant function and becoming too much their type. Others describe the Dom-tert loops. And then there are the shadow functions. So what would I focus on learning about if I were to determine what "unhealthy" MBTI type I am?
Well first of all, I would stick with books and not place too much stock in the theory people put forth in forum threads. I don't think the particular unhealthy type theory you focus on matters much if you are just trying to figure out your type. If, however, you have specific things you want to work on, some of the unhealthy type theories are more appropriate than others. Shadow theory stuff is about acting out of character and feeling out of control. Loops are about being stuck and unable to solve problems. And the over-reliance on dominant function is about immaturity/lack of type development and rigidity.
 
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