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My name's James Anthony, I'm 23 years old. I believe in constantly improving upon myself, with an exercise regime, a constant eye on learning new skills from pistol to rifle marksmanship, as well as new unarmed combat techniques. Thus far, my ambitions haven't gone past owning and operating small businesses for the sake of an extra income, though at some point I hope to get the start up capital for a limited liability company in the area of aerospace engineering, with an eye on diversification into the renewable energy industry. I wasn't always like this, and by that I don't just mean years ago, I mean only as far back as before 2015.

I had an unhappy childhood full of ridicule and mocking, with no sentimental soppy stories about young romance and friendships that will never end. It's because of this that I see the world as a harsh place, and I don't like when others whine about how difficult things are. The truth is that life is as short and brutal as ever. That's why people need to seize the day. I didn't always see things that way. At times I felt pity for myself. I looked back on the abuse I went through. Physical, emotional, and other types I don't care to mention. I would think to myself that I don't have a chance, because my life has been about me losing. About me failing and being kicked around figuratively and literally from the time I was an infant up to my teenage years.

I pushed away people because I would wear my heart on my sleeve. It was always a show of weakness in my past that was my undoing. These weaknesses were love, pity, mercy, and understanding. I failed to realize that though clemency is okay, kindness as such isn't. Not if you want to get ahead. To get ahead you have to be willing to step on everyone THAT GETS IN YOUR WAY, and this is the best advice I can give anyone, because it has worked for me as soon as I truly woke up to the reality of life and stopped being so weak of heart and stomach in matters of power brokerage. This isn't to say that there are no important people in my life. That's allowed, and natural for anyone who isn't a complete Psychopath, I know because I am far from being a Psychopath myself. I can understand most of us have some "kryptonite", that gets past our defences. People you care about are okay, as long as you know how to compartmentalize. Know that the person you are around people you love, is not the person that will get you far in life as far as gaining power and leverage goes.

It was back when I made my last trip as a backpacker during the winter, that I had the lessons I've learned through my life burned into my mind. Before this, yes just months ago, I was giving thought to just wasting my time doing volunteer jobs and day labour and deckhand jobs so I could travel from place to place for the sake of my personal "freedom." I experienced rude and surly staff almost everywhere I went, got harassed by security at a museum for "looking around a lot", and even others I met while backpacking treated me as a fool. Now, this hasn't happened every single time I've traveled, the thing is that I can see why the weakness I was feeling at that time would be sensed and why people would directly or indirectly attack me for this. Before I left on the plane I learned that nobody in my family is on my side, my dad tried choking me, some people got uncomfortable because of how I seemed to be mentally unravelling after the trauma of events involving my blood relatives and the solution of these people was to stop talking to me and make excuses for not talking to me.

Weeks before I left, because of all of these events, I started drinking heavily, and I know that people judged me for getting drunk. It was just more of the same judgement from fools instead of anything somewhat useful. I wasted most of my funds in Amsterdam getting drunk on absinthe and then smoking weed before I quickly booked a plane back to Ireland for the following week before all my money ended up gone. This abruptly ended my travel plans during the winter. I spent time back in Ireland just feeling numb. Feeling half alive. Seething with anger when not feeling empty. Eventually time healed certain wounds. I started showering more during the week again and started shaving properly again. I decided to get fit and not waste my time doing nothing with my life. I decided that what matters in life is strength, and people respond to strength. I realized that if you show weakness, people will surround you like Hyenas around a Lion with a damaged leg. I accepted that this is a world without mercy and preaching about mercy is a trick you need to see past to get an upper hand in life. My life has shown me that the key is to trust your intuition. If you know something is going to happen a certain way, trust yourself, don't let any external forces influence your actions. From the bloody nose I got from my mom punching me on my fifth birthday right after a pizza burned and filled the house up with smoke, to my brief time as a loser young adult, all of it was leading to something...to someone, and that someone is who I am today. It's best to be the one with your boot in another person's face than have the boot getting dirt on your face. Life, be it a good life or a bad life, affects people over time. These things need to be kept in mind. At my best I'm dynamic and in control. At my worst I had no idea what to do and I just felt lost. I am curious about the experiences of other people though. Curious about how life has affected them over time and helped them realize their true potential.
 
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