[Zomboy]

My commute to work every day goes like this:

Apartment-> Bus-> Mall-> Cab-> Work

To catch the cab from the mall, we need a bus transfer (signed)

Today, I've been a bit stressed, since yesterday I somehow lost both the keys to my apartment (and building) as well as my ID card for work (without it you cannot get into the building), not to mention my headphone cord also snapped on me, so I can't escape to my music when I'm under stress

I left work early to find my stuff, but I never did. But if word that I left early reaches the head honcho's ears, I might be in deep trouble (I.E. losing my job)

So I was freaking out this morning (as calmly as I possibly could) and I forgot to sign the transfer while I was at the mall. I asked the cab driver for a pen, and he flipped out on me

Shoved it in my face and said "See this? A fucking pen. $1.25. Invest in one."

Then finished by saying "You don't even need to sign the damn thing anyway."

I turtled. I curled up inside my head and only responded with a meek "okay" and "I'm sorry." I then stared out the window like I was watching my best friend massacre my favorite pet

I wanted to go nuts on this guy. Absolutely destroy him. I still do. But so far, I've done nothing. I might not be in a better mood than this for the rest of the day

So, instead of getting angry and doing something I might've regretted, I curled up into a ball and almost cried. I'm not entirely happy with myself either way, I suppose

What would you have done?

 

[The Vizier]

My commute to work every day goes like this:

Apartment-> Bus-> Mall-> Cab-> Work

To catch the cab from the mall, we need a bus transfer (signed)

Today, I've been a bit stressed, since yesterday I somehow lost both the keys to my apartment (and building) as well as my ID card for work (without it you cannot get into the building), not to mention my headphone cord also snapped on me, so I can't escape to my music when I'm under stress

I left work early to find my stuff, but I never did. But if word that I left early reaches the head honcho's ears, I might be in deep trouble (I.E. losing my job)

So I was freaking out this morning (as calmly as I possibly could) and I forgot to sign the transfer while I was at the mall. I asked the cab driver for a pen, and he flipped out on me

Shoved it in my face and said "See this? A fucking pen. $1.25. Invest in one."

Then finished by saying "You don't even need to sign the damn thing anyway."

I turtled. I curled up inside my head and only responded with a meek "okay" and "I'm sorry." I then stared out the window like I was watching my best friend massacre my favorite pet

I wanted to go nuts on this guy. Absolutely destroy him. I still do. But so far, I've done nothing. I might not be in a better mood than this for the rest of the day

So, instead of getting angry and doing something I might've regretted, I curled up into a ball and almost cried. I'm not entirely happy with myself either way, I suppose

What would you have done?

Ah crap that sucks...

Still going ballistic on the cab driver may have only worsened matters instead of helping. At the end of the day, what the cab driver said while hateful, is inconsequential compared to the more pressing matters on your mind regarding your job.

I would have acted pretty much the way you did, but saving the job would have been my priority. After that is secured then I would deal with the cab driver.

 

[Belle Starr]

probably the same thing....it surprises people that I have bi-annual anger binges where I unleash my fury on some unsuspecting person...usually my landlord, a bank teller, and all too often, a family member or friend who just takes the abuse. I almost always regret it. While how the cab driver treated you is undoubtedly inappropriate (it's none of his business why you needed the pen and he didn't have to give it to you in the first place), it's kinda the whole do unto others as you would have done unto you philosophy and he could have had a day just like yours...you never know...you were the better person. I'm sorry you're having a bad day, and even more sorry you don't have your music to escape to. I hope it gets better.

 

[Zomboy]

Thanks. I had considered that he may have had some pent-up frustrations (the cabbies don't like driving us to work) but I knew that it wasn't right for him to take it out on me. Nonetheless, I kept everything to myself. I probably won't do anything about it in the end, unless I get him again and the same thing happens.

Thanks guys, I didn't expect any responses, but that may just be a by-product of my current mood

 

[Isis]

Thanks. I had considered that he may have had some pent-up frustrations (the cabbies don't like driving us to work) but I knew that it wasn't right for him to take it out on me. Nonetheless, I kept everything to myself. I probably won't do anything about it in the end, unless I get him again and the same thing happens.

Thanks guys, I didn't expect any responses, but that may just be a by-product of my current mood

Sounds like you did an excellent job at stopping the negativity, Zomboy. You should be feeling very proud of yourself for acting like an adult under such trying circumstances.

 

[Zomboy]

I'd feel like more of an adult if more adults acted the way I do :/

 

[The Vizier]

I'd feel like more of an adult if more adults acted the way I do :/

Someone has to set an example. :tongue:

 

[Isis]

Someone has to set an example. :tongue:

To Zomboy: And you're doing an excellent job. I assume you've made it into work and not gotten fired?

 

[Seeker99]

What a jerk!! He may have just been having a bad day, but of course there's no excuse for being so horrible and abusive.

What would I have done? Give him a disgusted look and appear quietly outraged rather than simply hurt. Try my hardest not to cry and think about it all day. That would really bother me...

I believe you did do the right thing. Getting angry would not have helped anything, you were the bigger person. I feel sorry for the guy, feeling the need to lash out at innocent strangers. He must have serious problems.

 

[Zomboy]

I don't start for another 20 minutes or so. Haven't seen the boss yet

I've decided not to worry about it until something big happens. Can't allow myself to jump to conclusions, it's far too much stress for what it's worth

This is what I mean by feeling 'robotic'

My Ti must be eating my Fe again

 

[The Vizier]

I don't start for another 20 minutes or so. Haven't seen the boss yet

I've decided not to worry about it until something big happens. Can't allow myself to jump to conclusions, it's far too much stress for what it's worth

Yeah that's the way to handle the situation. The people here at PerC are behind you and I hope you get through the day without too much trouble. :happy:

 

[Runescribe]

You're not alone

I left work early to find my stuff, but I never did. But if word that I left early reaches the head honcho's ears, I might be in deep trouble (I.E. losing my job)

Zomboy you've described a typical day of an INFJ under stress. You aren't weird or anything it's just a side effect of the way we think. The best way to handle it is through prevention which involves Ni-*-Ti. Handling it in the moment is harder and requires more energy expenditure especially when you are younger because a lot of undifferientiated Se is involved to reacting to things in real time. This will get better slowly with time as you gain experience and start to develop the deeper functions.

We spend a good deal of time setting up structures so these things don't happen. I think we learn instinctively at an early age to compensate for our lack of Si (which is very self-regulatory) and Te (which is discretionary thinking directed to the "Object" in the environment rather than our Ti which is the "Subject" in our mind.) -- We aren't thinking about it in those terms as kids of course because as a kid you don't know about things like Type. You are doing it how? Intuitively using Ni which is quite natural to us and requires little energy.

Ni is very good at things like conceiving of your plan of how you go to work in the morning. It is deficient in relating to rapid changes such as what is required if you forget or lose your badge. Dropping back to the next function of Fe under stress you experience the social impact and emotion of the moment. And this is what overwhelms you with the feelings.

I operate in a similar environment. I work for a governmental lab involved with computing research. We have to follow strict procedures for accessing our facilities with multiple checkpoints. At the gate at the outside of the facility there is a telephone and a small parking area. Normally there are a few cars there with crazy-haired scientists calling for help getting in because they forgot their badge. This is just a side-effect of "N". There is no getting around it except to try to put those structures in place to prevent it. And try to live well-regulated so you have plenty of rest and good nutrition to deal with stressful situations when they arise.

Without doubting yourself or dipping into negative thoughts it may help to sit down and recap what you went through so you can add some preventative structures to help prevent it from happening. And whatever you do don't beat yourself up. It is just a natural thing that occurs and it makes you no better or worse than anybody else.

Hope this helps. :happy:

 

[The Vizier]

Zomboy you've described a typical day of an INFJ under stress. You aren't weird or anything it's just a side effect of the way we think. The best way to handle it is through prevention which involves Ni-*-Ti. Handling it in the moment is harder and requires more energy expenditure especially when you are younger because a lot of undifferientiated Se is involved to reacting to things in real time. This will get better slowly with time as you gain experience and start to develop the deeper functions.

We spend a good deal of time setting up structures so these things don't happen. I think we learn instinctively at an early age to compensate for our lack of Si (which is very self-regulatory) and Te (which is discretionary thinking directed to the "Object" in the environment rather than our Ti which is the "Subject" in our mind.) -- We aren't thinking about it in those terms as kids of course because as a kid you don't know about things like Type. You are doing it how? Intuitively using Ni which is quite natural to us and requires little energy.

Ni is very good at things like conceiving of your plan of how you go to work in the morning. It is deficient in relating to rapid changes such as what is required if you forget or lose your badge. Dropping back to the next function of Fe under stress you experience the social impact and emotion of the moment. And this is what overwhelms you with the feelings.

I operate in a similar environment. I work for a governmental lab involved with computing research. We have to follow strict procedures for accessing our facilities with multiple checkpoints. At the gate at the outside of the facility there is a telephone and a small parking area. Normally there are a few cars there with crazy-haired scientists calling for help getting in because they forgot their badge. This is just a side-effect of "N". There is no getting around it except to try to put those structures in place to prevent it. And try to live well-regulated so you have plenty of rest and good nutrition to deal with stressful situations when they arise.

Without doubting yourself or dipping into negative thoughts it may help to sit down and recap what you went through so you can add some preventative structures to help prevent it from happening. And whatever you do don't beat yourself up. It is just a natural thing that occurs and it makes you no better or worse than anybody else.

Hope this helps. :happy:

Yeah Rune sums up the structure and the steps nicely. After you get through this, let's all go back and fight Zombies. :wink:

 

[Runescribe]

Yeah Rune sums up the structure and the steps nicely. After you get through this, let's all go back and fight Zombies. :wink:

My advice is only useful after the fact. You'll have to shuffle through the day before you can act on it. Sorry dude - tough breaks

 

[northernsky]

I would write a letter of complaint to the cab company. No cab driver has the right to use offensive language and threatening behaviour on a customer! Even if you end up deciding not to send it, just writing it might be helpful, that always helps me when I have had a horrible experience.

 

[NRGY]

With the mood the cab driver was in nothing you said would have probably helped so I think you did the right thing. HE is a jerk and his outburst had to do with his issues and not you.

Try to not let it bother you. I know easier said than done but it really was not anything personal about you. You were just the person he took it out on.

I'd hate to see how he handles big problems if he gets so bothered by someone asking for a pen. Goodness.

 

[Zomboy]

I knew I shouldn't have gone home early, and I knew it wasn't going to help in the end

I did it because I got fed up with everything at that moment (and my opportunist side popped up)

Sitting around in a classroom for 4 more hours (doing nothing) would have only perpetuated things and made me worse, so that's why I used it as an excuse. Wasn't happy that I did it though, in the end

And I got off scot free. Today though has been one terrible happenstance after another. When I get home tonight, marijuana is going to be my best friend

Good thing I don't have to work tomorrow

 

[Gallen]

Nothing. Take the high road.

GW

 

[Isis]

I knew I shouldn't have gone home early, and I knew it wasn't going to help in the end

I did it because I got fed up with everything at that moment (and my opportunist side popped up)

Sitting around in a classroom for 4 more hours (doing nothing) would have only perpetuated things and made me worse, so that's why I used it as an excuse. Wasn't happy that I did it though, in the end

And I got off scot free. Today though has been one terrible happenstance after another. When I get home tonight, marijuana is going to be my best friend

Good thing I don't have to work tomorrow

Stop beating your self up, Zomboy (what a great screenname, BTW). You're doing great. And everyone does stuff like this.

None of my business really, but from a neurological standpoint, getting drunk is a better fallback than marajuana for stress because it doesn't permanently rewire your brain in the same way.

Of course, exercise-induced endorphins are better than either, but I'm not your Mom and you do not have to listen to me.

 

[Isis]

Ni is very good at things like conceiving of your plan of how you go to work in the morning. It is deficient in relating to rapid changes such as what is required if you forget or lose your badge. Dropping back to the next function of Fe under stress you experience the social impact and emotion of the moment. And this is what overwhelms you with the feelings.

I operate in a similar environment. I work for a governmental lab involved with computing research. We have to follow strict procedures for accessing our facilities with multiple checkpoints. At the gate at the outside of the facility there is a telephone and a small parking area. Normally there are a few cars there with crazy-haired scientists calling for help getting in because they forgot their badge. This is just a side-effect of "N". There is no getting around it except to try to put those structures in place to prevent it. And try to live well-regulated so you have plenty of rest and good nutrition to deal with stressful situations when they arise.

Don't know about Zomboy, but this was helpful for me to see. Although aren't those scientists a mixture of INTJs and INTPs?