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Discussion Starter #1
So to start off I was at a party last saturday. I had done my fair share of drinking when I met a girl a year older, much in the same state. We quickly hit it off, but unfortunately she had to leave so she gave me her # and we kissed goodbye. At this point I must reinforce the alcohol intake. Neither of us were sober. Infact just after she left the party my memory just blanks out (yes yes i know it's not healthy to drink that much). So being the the guy who never dated through highschool or the year after, I was nervous as hell to call her up. So I finally work up the courage to call her today after I got home from work.
Conversation went as follows:
me - "Hey ____, it's rbt from ___'s party from saturday."
her - "Oh hey how's it going." (sounds equal parts surprised and confused)
me - "Not to bad just got off work, and you?"
her - "Pretty good, and ya I just got off work too."
me - "So hey, I was wondering if you're not busy Thursday, if you'd like to go grab some coffee or something?"
her *sharp long inhale like when you're taking a splinter out of your finger "Sorry I have an appointment at the chiropracter Thursday."
me - "Oh, is your back ok?"
her - "It's actually my knee that's hurt."
me - "Oooh. Ok, well if your free anytime just lemme know." (with an added bit of nervousness and hint of panic)
her - "Oh ok, bye." (sounds confused)
me - "Later."

:unsure:, me thinks I panicked and subsequently blew it. So, what are your thoughts. Cause to be perfectly honest that was the first time I asked a girl out, and frankly I don't think it went that well. Or maybe I am just over analyzing... I really hope I am just over analyzing.
 

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The "oh okay bye" could be one of two things.

1. She''s just not that interested because otherwise one would think she'd say "oh but maybe another time" or something equally as encouraging.

2. She was really surprised and equally as self conscious as you probably felt and wasn't sure how to react out of nerves.


Are you seeing her again any time soon in a neutral environment? If so, definitely let the balll stay in her court.. She definitely now knows you're interested.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
no clue if i'll be seeing her anytime soon, she's a year older and went to the same highschool as me for 4 years and that night was the first time I'd even talked to her. Lots of mutual friends but just one of those off chance type things I guess. And ya, she definitely know's I'm interested now. Gah, this whole relationship thing is most assuredly not my forte.
 

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no clue if i'll be seeing her anytime soon, she's a year older and went to the same highschool as me for 4 years and that night was the first time I'd even talked to her. Lots of mutual friends but just one of those off chance type things I guess. And ya, she definitely know's I'm interested now. Gah, this whole relationship thing is most assuredly not my forte.
Or maybe just making the first move isn't your forte. Some girls like guys who don't make the first move. Some girls like to persue.....or maybe you simply need to find the right girl. Don't give up!
 

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In a substantial amount of cases I'd claim even women themselves don't know what they mean, however, here she appears to be a pretty good source of answers. I can only recommend asking. ~~
 

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no clue if i'll be seeing her anytime soon, she's a year older and went to the same highschool as me for 4 years and that night was the first time I'd even talked to her. Lots of mutual friends but just one of those off chance type things I guess. And ya, she definitely know's I'm interested now. Gah, this whole relationship thing is most assuredly not my forte.
I don't think you did anything wrong actually. I imagine she's pretty flattered you called to ask her out, that's always a nice feeling for a girl.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I just can't shake the feeling that I messed up and ruined any chance at something more than just that one night at a party. Starting to go into one of those negative thought spirals. And after 4 hours of that thought process I am feeling pretty low right now.
 

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hey man dont beat yourself up. The conversation seems fine to me and u were to the point which is good. Whether or not she was interested or not i dont really know; she could have been blowing you off with the chiropractor excuse or she could have actually had an appointment. You might have wanted to ask her if any other date would work out but i know how hard it is to fire off another shell of fear of coming off as desperate. Been there:tongue:

If you have her number i'd recommend texting her instead of calling. It's less nerve racking and you can probably get to know her easier especially if you are shy.
 

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Some girls like guys who don't make the first move. Some girls like to persue.....or maybe you simply need to find the right girl. Don't give up!
I've never in my life met a girl who likes guys who don't make the first move. However I agree with the don't give up part. Even though this girl wouldn't go out with you.

If you meet a girl and you're both drunk it very often turns out next morning that the interest isn't mutual anymore. Don't blame yourself. Just keep looking for the right girl and it was a very brave thing to call her. And there was nothing wrong with your conversation. I think you did your part well and didn't sound like a scary stalker (I know I often do...).

If you don't hear anything from the girl for a week I still recommend to send a text message to her. Something like "Hi! I was just thinking if you'd like to see someday? :)" If you don't mention any specific time she can't turn you down with a fake/real chiropractical appointment unless she has them every day for the rest of her life.
 

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Next time, wait a few days and text her to see what's up- Engage in a bit of friendly banter.

Then, wait two weeks before contacting her again, unless she contacts you first.

Just take my word for it.
 
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