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Discussion Starter #1
So my mom's an addict. She abuses alcohol (vodka) like nobody's business. Stays sober for a month or two, then stays drunk for a few days to a week. It's a bad deal and it's gone on for about 6 years. Two rehabs and several therapists later, and she's still going strong with the addiction. Wants to quit, but doesn't, I guess. She's killing herself, obviously.

Recently (or maybe not recently, who the hell knows) she's taken to a prescription meds addiction too. We got on her case about alcohol, so she turned to this, apparently. Sometimes she mixes the meds and the alcohol, sometimes she just overdoes the meds. My dad says she gets so fucked up that she takes a pill, spaces out, comes to and takes another pill 30 minutes later because she can't remember taking the first one. Then repeats that process until she's really out. Obviously this scares the hell out of me. For years the reality that my mom may die at any time has been in the back of my mind, but it's getting worse and now I'm more worried than ever.

She's hit an all time low and hasn't been sober for nearly two weeks. Most of this time spent unconscious. My dad found more than 10 empty vodka bottles a couple of days ago. Today he found a shoebox full of prescription meds, a stockpile she's collected since 2010. I was floored by the amount.

It's all prescribed by the same woman, her psychiatric nurse that she's been seeing for a long while. The thing is, when she's sober, my mom's an incredibly intelligent woman who comes across as more competent than most people and can make people believe whatever she wants them to. I'm pretty sure this therapist of hers has no idea that she's feeding my mom's addiction in the way that she is. So I decided to inform her. I called her and left her a voicemail explaining it.

She hasn't gotten back to me and I wonder if she is not allowed to, if it's a breach of trust or some such thing. Maybe she doesn't believe me. I'm just wondering, if anybody is in the know about this kind of thing, did I do the right thing, is this helpful for the therapist? Even if this woman is allowed to consult with me, I figure my mom will probably just move on to some other therapist who is ignorant of the situation, but I just want to know.
 

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No, you didn't overstep a boundary.

I'm not sure about patient/client ethics; but there is the possibility the therapist might call you back, to make clear on your concerns, if nothing else,they wouldn't really have to talk in specifics about your mom, in that case. I think it's helpful for the therapist to know these types of things, and it really needed to be said-for your sake as well as your moms.

I might look up other therapists in your area; see if you can set up an appointment to go to with your mom (and, hopefully, Dad as well); so you can vocalize your concerns to your mom in a conductive environment, and get some suggestions on what might help your mom. Do you think your Dad would be supportive of / go with you in that venture?

I'm sorry you're in this situation. :-(
A ton of well wishes and strength are being sent your way.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
No, you didn't overstep a boundary.

I'm not sure about patient/client ethics; but there is the possibility the therapist might call you back, to make clear on your concerns, if nothing else,they wouldn't really have to talk in specifics about your mom, in that case. I think it's helpful for the therapist to know these types of things, and it really needed to be said-for your sake as well as your moms.

I might look up other therapists in your area; see if you can set up an appointment to go to with your mom (and, hopefully, Dad as well); so you can vocalize your concerns to your mom in a conductive environment, and get some suggestions on what might help your mom. Do you think your Dad would be supportive of / go with you in that venture?

I'm sorry you're in this situation. :-(
A ton of well wishes and strength are being sent your way.
About two months ago, I suggested we all go to counseling together. I figured, we can't expect my mom to change if the dynamic at home hasn't changed, since we're all caught in unhelpful cycles. Everybody was totally on board for that and it was all going really well. The therapist even complimented us, saying that we were opening up faster than most people and must be really ready for change. But we had to cut back on sessions because of financial troubles, and my mom has obviously relapsed rather hard...

It's very frustrating. She claims to want to get better, but it's while she's sober that she gathers all the alcohol and meds so they'll be on hand while she clocks out for however-long. Sigh. Getting off topic.
 

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The therapist can call you to acknowledge your message, but cannot discuss your mother or your mother's treatment.

I'm also not sure on whether she can even ask you for more information without permission from your mother.

But you did not overstep yourself. Your mother has a serious problem and you are an immediate family member. You have every right to be worried and to express your concern.

I'm sorry your are dealing with this. There are support groups for family members of addicts. Usually narcotics anon. or alcoholics anon can provide info for you.

You may have heard this a million times, but this isn't your fault. (your mothers addiction)
 

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Discussion Starter #5
The therapist called me back. She said she was concerned and made an appointment with me for my mom and dad to go to. My mom sobered up somewhat today so I was able to confirm with her that she'll go. She fucked up her face a bit by falling at some point yesterday. Told me she'll go to the appointment but she's divorcing my dad. Says she's more afraid of living than she is of dying and that she's sorry.

Life is terrifying right now.
 

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So my mom's an addict. She abuses alcohol (vodka) like nobody's business. Stays sober for a month or two, then stays drunk for a few days to a week. It's a bad deal and it's gone on for about 6 years. Two rehabs and several therapists later, and she's still going strong with the addiction. Wants to quit, but doesn't, I guess. She's killing herself, obviously.

Recently (or maybe not recently, who the hell knows) she's taken to a prescription meds addiction too. We got on her case about alcohol, so she turned to this, apparently. Sometimes she mixes the meds and the alcohol, sometimes she just overdoes the meds. My dad says she gets so fucked up that she takes a pill, spaces out, comes to and takes another pill 30 minutes later because she can't remember taking the first one. Then repeats that process until she's really out. Obviously this scares the hell out of me. For years the reality that my mom may die at any time has been in the back of my mind, but it's getting worse and now I'm more worried than ever.

She's hit an all time low and hasn't been sober for nearly two weeks. Most of this time spent unconscious. My dad found more than 10 empty vodka bottles a couple of days ago. Today he found a shoebox full of prescription meds, a stockpile she's collected since 2010. I was floored by the amount.

It's all prescribed by the same woman, her psychiatric nurse that she's been seeing for a long while. The thing is, when she's sober, my mom's an incredibly intelligent woman who comes across as more competent than most people and can make people believe whatever she wants them to. I'm pretty sure this therapist of hers has no idea that she's feeding my mom's addiction in the way that she is. So I decided to inform her. I called her and left her a voicemail explaining it.

She hasn't gotten back to me and I wonder if she is not allowed to, if it's a breach of trust or some such thing. Maybe she doesn't believe me. I'm just wondering, if anybody is in the know about this kind of thing, did I do the right thing, is this helpful for the therapist? Even if this woman is allowed to consult with me, I figure my mom will probably just move on to some other therapist who is ignorant of the situation, but I just want to know.
You have every right to care for your mother in every way possible.

and what @Khys said. Not your fault.

Take control as much as reasonably possible, because few others if any will.
 

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As stated, ain't you fault. Don't overdo it, either, though.

There's only so much help a human deserves and there are times where it's better to cut ties and move on, if possible anyway. Been through somewhat similar stuff and have long accepted that 'death' is at the end of the route some people are taking. It's their choice at the end of the day, and it's not worth to spend my energy on lost cases.

Blood isn't thicker than water, and people are either good for you, or they ain't. What you do if the latter occurs is up to you, but I suggest you to not silently take and suck it up.
 
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