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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I’ve recently discovered my enneagram type, but it took me a while and I honestly had some resistance towards it, which made me wonder how it was for others – maybe it’s normal to have some initial resistance?

Was it easy to figure out your type? Or did you – like me – have some resistance? Did you quickly identify your patterns or are you still trying to figure it out?

Grateful for your honest thoughts,
L
 

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Finding this type was not easy, but by the time I figured it out, I was beyond resistance—I was familiar with the negative type descriptions and the importance of not beating myself up over my shortcomings. Genuine curiosity about my type also prevented my resisting it. Also I would feel stupid resisting something that I myself had decided to explore.

I didn't resist my two mistypes either, although the first type I got (4, thanks to depression or something) made me feel terrible and perhaps a bit embarrassed. I'm generally good at accepting things.

Part of me thinks that finding my type could have been easier had I really read about the Enneagram the first time I became interested in it, but another part of me thinks that I didn't know myself well enough then and/or the relevant patterns of my personality had not yet manifested strongly enough.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I agree - it is stupid to resist something that you sought out yourself. But what has surprised with the enneagram, compared to mbti, is that there were many descriptions that I did not resonate with until much later. For instance, until a few years ago I would never had described myself as shy of conflict - quite the contrary - despite that I'm 9w1. Really, it was so deeply layered in me that it took much personal development to even realize it.

I guess sometimes the deeper layers of my own behavior eludes me, and I thought there mus be others who feel the same way? Though I don't pretend it doesn't clarify the shortcoming of my current level of personal development.
 

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Nah, the descriptions I initially read didn't feel like I fit - I put more weight on some things than others, and had a skewed self-perception. (Introvert? Moi?)
 

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I guess sometimes the deeper layers of my own behavior eludes me, and I thought there mus be others who feel the same way?
I definitely experienced the same thing, but it didn't make me resistant. I just looked at how much of the type I could identify with and decided whether that was enough to justify considering myself to be that type.
 

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I was okay with it. I didn't have any bad connotations about type 6, nor had I really encountered unhealthy 6 behaviors - in fact, I was raised by a good example of a type 6 person. I wasn't enamored by the description(s) but I wasn't repulsed by it, either.

People will often say, "if you're disgusted by a type description, it's definitely your type." Seems really flimsy to me, because one can be disgusted without projecting. Sure, most people will have some resistance to their true type, but it's not always because it "sounds ugly" or whatever, it's often a lack of self-awareness or being uneducated about the types instead. For example, my biggest issue was probably my wing, which stemmed from ignorance (being uneducated) of the differences more than refusal of being w7; there's plenty of others who are similar in that way, who aren't disgusted by their type, per se, but aren't fully aware of it.
 

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This is going to sound funny. Yes. I knew I was a Six right off the bat. But I only got that result right once. The first time I took the test. I remember the type descriptions I found browsing through the enneagram forum were a huge surprise to me, as I thought every single line was emphasising the negative traits in me that I'd never bothered giving a second thought before. Nevertheless, it was mostly like... an epiphany. I had something genuine to work with. I loved it. Thus no matter how many times I got anything different from Six as a result after that, I insisted it should be a mistype. Because I knew (I know) I am a Six, lol. The only thing that made me doubt it was, when I began to read more of these forums, I couldn't really relate to the other people who claimed the same type. Well, I mean I could somehow understand we had similar motivations, but the difference in our behaviour was still so big (type Eight made a lot more sense then), I started questioning if the whole enneagram thing could be grasped in some way other than superficially. But then I found Sixes are supposed to act differently from each other, that it was normal, that enneagram does not dictate one's behaviour, and I finally took notice of the phobic/counterphobic tendencies which are demonstrated differently in each individual. It was easy to accept my type after that.

Of my tritype I was always more certain. I found it easy to relate to the 368 tritype in any of its forms when I read its descriptions (in tests I only ever get 358 because I am typed as a Five so much, but even that goes to show the other two types I relate to best are Eight and Three, with Five getting highlighted because of the wing influence).
 

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Lol no. It actually made me feel uncomfortable, and is mostly things I consider to be wrong with myself. However, this could just be because it clashes a bit with my Myers Briggs type.
 

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I've known ever since reading Type 5 that it was accurate.
I've considered others but they're more like.. parts of me, than me, if that makes sense.

I've never resisted 5, though I do sometimes think 4 is just as good a fit.

Biggest issue has been other people questioning it, tbh.
 

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Enneagram is PoS-system and I hate the type 7 stereotype. It resonates so well with me but the stereotype... is a brainfart.
 

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I’ve recently discovered my enneagram type, but it took me a while and I honestly had some resistance towards it, which made me wonder how it was for others – maybe it’s normal to have some initial resistance?

Was it easy to figure out your type? Or did you – like me – have some resistance? Did you quickly identify your patterns or are you still trying to figure it out?

Grateful for your honest thoughts,
L
First I thought I was a 6, then a 1, then a 5 and now, I've finally found my real type 8. The fact is that if I read type descriptions, at least the pure descriptions, I couldn't relate to any of them. However, taking the wings or tritype into account, I have found better, more accurate descriptions of me. I combined this also with simply asking people who know me better which type description describes me better. So yes, I can now safely say that I'm an 8.
 

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Was it easy to figure out your type?
Yes. I think it must have taken me less than a week to figure out my type, and I haven't questioned it since.

Or did you – like me – have some resistance?
I wouldn't say that I resisted type 9, but there were certain traits of the type that seemed completely unlike me, and because I could relate a lot to other types, especially the other two withdrawing types, I questioned type 9 for myself. For one, I'm a very free-spirited person. I don't like others controlling me or pushing me (although I don't always resist their pushing). I came to learn that 9s are independent and that they are motivated to maintain / defend their autonomy, but at the time, the impression that I got from most 9 descriptions was that 9s are very dependent on others and that they can't really think for themselves, and I guess me not liking that about 9s had made me a bit reluctant to identify with the type. Same goes for the supposed self-unawareness of 9s.

Did you quickly identify your patterns or are you still trying to figure it out?
Yes and no. I identified that at the core, I am motivated to feel okay and so a lot of what I'd done and what I didn't do every single day was based on me wanting to feel okay or to avoid being made emotionally uncomfortable. That was the deciding factor for me. I identified that core feeling of lacking significance and where it came from much later, and I've only recently come to realize what it means to me to need to "merge" with somebody or something. I think that I'm relatively self-aware, but I'm working myself out as I go along because I think there's also a lot I don't realize about myself.
 

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I've never seriously considered any other core type besides 1, so I certainly knew it was mine from the outset. I wasn't resistant to it because I had already adopted the "perfectionist" label before I even knew about Enneagram, so I was already comfortable with its associated flaws. If anything, I feel less connected to my type on good days when I feel more integrated and carefree; I think understanding that my core motivator doesn't necessarily have to be a constant burden has been the more challenging concept to accept.
 

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Well. I hated it at first sight because I knew it was me, even though I had never identified that desire and fear and stuff in me before. I just knew when I first read it. It was very easy to find, though. My family thought I was a five, so I read that, and I figured it out. I never resisted it really, although sometimes I kind of resisted believing that some of the behaviors were what I did, even though I knew that they were. However, wing, instinctual variant, and tritype are pretty much continuing to elude me.
 

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If you mean, did I type myself correctly right away...then nope. Not at all. Completely mistyped from the beginning. It was 12 years ago now... My sister and I were teenagers and this was back in the day when OKCupid had all those quizzes, and the 2-question enneagram one was going around on LiveJournal. We both took it and I got 4 and she got 9, and I thought it made sense... She's a nice person and gets along well with others, and I was always moody and had problems growing up. I was going through a horrible time...19 was one of the worst years for me...and the personality typing thing appealed to me because I had no idea what to do with myself. I felt really lost and sad. So I looked around and I thought 4w5 so/sx fit well because I'm introverted and I was into other 4w5's pretty heavily anyway, like Sylvia Plath, music like Joy Division, etc. (I thought Ian Curtis was 5w4 back then but now I think he's 5w6... the 5w6 descriptions are pretty damn misleading to me, honestly) but so-dom 4 seemed right too because I'd always been such a social outcast/ugly duckling and sp-last because I felt so impractical back then.

When I was introduced to tritype back in 2009 I was totally skeptical about it... I went with 4-5-9 because I always scored high on those types I guess. But then it was suggested to me I might have a 6 fix after this incident I got reactive about a cat bite, frantically looking for some peroxide to heal it... I thought about it and I embraced a 6 fix. It seemed to fit, I'm not detached enough for a 5 fix... I doubt myself, I'm skeptical, I feel a lot of fear, etc. I gradually warmed up to the tritype idea, and I went with 6w7 because I can be so silly with people I subconsciously want as allies, I can latch onto them too much and enjoy hanging out with them and everything.

Then everything changed when I was in my late 20's... I can't describe what it was but something in me just changed. I think maybe before that I'd always wanted to see everything through rose tinted glasses a bit... Like I wanted to have a good image of myself without seeing anyone else as having a lesser image? In fact I think that was always part of my ego structure anyway...like, trying to see everyone else as better than myself, just that sort of self deprecation... But then when I was 28, 29 a lot of that dropped away somehow, like I was tired of it. I just wanted to see everyone including myself more clearly, and I started thinking about the interactions I'd had over the years, feedback people had given me... I realized that a common complaint was that I was too clingy or I wanted to merge too much, and that was from the couple of men I'd latched onto way too intensely over the course of my life (there was one when I was a teenager and another when I was in my 20's, both 6's)... and just how I didn't really have the identity issues of the 4 at all but I did have the romanticism, way too much. I realized I was sx 9... and actually way back in the day, like a decade ago now on the EI message board I remembered some sx 9's detailing that revelation ("I'm not a 4, I'm a sx 9")... and that I was social-last. One of the worst problems I have is getting so caught up in these men I had rescue fantasies about that I neglected the friendships I should have invested so much more effort in. Being a social-last 9 feels horrible sometimes, but it feels relieving to know what my real fixation is so I can work on it, hopefully.

Anyway no, I wouldn't say I'm in love with my type... but it was weird because back in the day, I thought being a 9 seemed so nice and I wished that's what I was, for so many years, to the point I thought I could never be that type because I'd put it on such a pedestal. And it turned out my sister is a 6, but she's nicer than I am so I thought I could never be a 9 since that's what we both thought she was, I guess. I feel like that's part of being a 9 for me, not embracing certain aspects of who I am because there's that tendency for your real self, your desires and all that to become foggy in order to focus on others instead... that's how I experience it anyway.

But yeah if I really wanted to like, give my ego a flattering image I wouldn't go with 9, or at least, definitely not sx 9... I tend to envy like, ISTP 9's or 7's or ESTP 7's and such... you know, women who come off sensual yet independent. I don't come off that way at all, really... but it's okay, I do have an ego but I can put it aside for self-typing and it's nice just to have some self awareness, I guess.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Wow, you had a long road ahead of you! I can really relate to that... I suppose that might be especially so for 9s?

I first heard about the enneagram years ago but did not go much into it - I was too caught up in mbti. I tried to determine my type by taking multiple tests and comparing my top 3 results from all of them - but as I read more about the enneagram I thought that in itself was enough to determine me as type 5. Later, after a serious break-up and I felt the need to dig into all kinds of self development, I was sure I was type 4. Though type was consistently in my top 3 test results I never truly considered that I could be a 9 - mostly because I never saw myself as shy of conflict (turns out I just dismiss that there could even be a conflict - if it doesn't exist I don't have to deal with it!).

I suppose I only recently became ready to face the truth of my underlying behavioral patterns (sometimes you really have to walk the walk!). Also, I think there is some truth to the fact that we often tend to resist what we know to be true deep down... as if we resist because we know it is (or believe it to be) our blind side and thus do not wish to see ourselves in that light. I think this is always the roots of my envy of other enneagram or myers briggs types! It really helps me to think of personality as a trade-off: you can never specialist in one field without necessarily neglecting some other field.

I hope this makes sense :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
People will often say, "if you're disgusted by a type description, it's definitely your type." Seems really flimsy to me, because one can be disgusted without projecting. Sure, most people will have some resistance to their true type, but it's not always because it "sounds ugly" or whatever, it's often a lack of self-awareness or being uneducated about the types instead. For example, my biggest issue was probably my wing, which stemmed from ignorance (being uneducated) of the differences more than refusal of being w7; there's plenty of others who are similar in that way, who aren't disgusted by their type, per se, but aren't fully aware of it.
Ahh yes, this is exactly what I meant when I used the word "resistance". I felt resistance at the beginning, never being able to acknowledge some aspects of my personality which of course was due to lower selfawareness. No selfawareness, no personal growth!

That being said, I was never disgusted by type 9 and I don't think I ever projected. It suppose it was more of an resistance of how deep some characteristics were embedded in me - things that I had tried to deny and repress because I did not want to be that person... this strategy obviously never worked out in the long run. It may a type 9 thing to feel this way? Now that I think of it, that is pretty consistent with my tendency to ignore the depth of my issues!
 
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