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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is one of my favorites:
do you see the bear? yes, I see the bunny.
I said "bear", - oh ye yes, bugs bunny -

Someone discussing or exposing personal mistakes? that's good, a sign of experience and humbleness but also a great moment to test their connection to reality and check if they are worth of trust. Parents? the same but with great consequences on you. Such conversations will mean a great deal of teachings unless your parent never made a single mistake, or if any mistake is not his/her fault but the other persons fault, then it seems you are at the mercy of a manipulator, a liar, a narcissitic, etc, but that's not it, you might notice the wrong when you already been exposed and affected, perhaps imitating the tradition of "it's never my fault".


My grandparents were very honest and were also my role models (more than my parents). I found of great value how they talked about past mistakes in first person "I shouldn't have done that" or many times talking about the bad thing "that's not something one suppose to do" and the third option "that's not something you suppose... well nobody suppose to do". Those 3 things are somehow different but also similar, they approach something different on each case but always the "don't do this", it varies depending on what's being noted as the most important thing.

My mother? I'm still waiting for her to say words about something that she done wrong. Everything bad that ever happened is due to someone else evilness or taking advantage of her kindness. Yes this can happen but when you see the same pattern for years you know your parent is twisting reality to tell a story that is not accurate. The thread is not about ME, or about my mother, that's just a personal example.

The main point here:
I believe the ability of our parents to accept doing something wrong, or specially a bad choice is very important for us when it comes to mate selection, it shapes us, and also train us to see what it is instead of how to validate the situation to our favor. What's your story? did your parents ever talked about their mistakes? bad selections? my grandparents even talked in magnificent way (very human and kind) about each other weaknesses, mistakes and things to avoid, but that's another story, it takes a lot to do that without trash-talking. Those were lessons to pay attention to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
The first lines describe the amazing things I've seen when my mother/uncle or parents of friends are asked directly about something obvious, and they twist everything. At times is funny, at times is very sad to see it happening.
 

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I think my dad had more of a genuine tendency to be candid and a bit more honest on an entirety of a situation, but he also had more of a tendency to fixate, dwell, mope.

My mom was more reasonable about how she maintained/conducted herself, but less candid about the entirety of a situation when she would recount events.
 

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No, because they didn't have any other.

I have a hypothesis that a person doesn't develop in certain ways cognitively if they don't have their heart broken at least once and/or break the heart of someone else.

I had to learn through experience and pure intuition.
 
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Yes. My mother always teach her pathetic story about the guy she likes but her sisters and every one around her doesn't like the guy.. And so she broke up with the guy...because the guy is ugly. XD but i can see she likes him.. Then he chose my father because my father is more good looking and not embarassing to date in public. So that's how i created..
 
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