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what imaven wrote about walking into a room is really interesting. i think both 4 and 6 can feel "separate" from the group walking into a room, but for different reasons.

for 6s, like ethereal pointed out, there's a concern for "what's wrong in everyone else." which isn't to say i assume all of you suck, it's just, there's darkness in everyone, just like there's darkness in me, and there is potential to harm. 6 has a heightened awareness of potential to harm. upon walking into a room, i know there is a potential that everyone in the room may reject me and hurt me. so there is that gap between myself and everyone. and not just individually, but they might even gang up on me and reject me. what if they're all already banded together and they're not interested in an outsider?

the gap lessens and we gain confidence as we affiliate with others, because that harming potential is lessened. as i gain authority, i also lessen the harming potential. the safest position in an organized group for me is as vice president - not the very head of the group, who is often scapegoated by the rest of the group, but with more authority than the other members of the group. and i am actually quite good at that position. i am happy to take on some extra responsibility in exchange for the security of that position. i am a good supporter and i am a good leader, both, so it's really a good place for me to be. i think it says something about the 6 dual-dichotomy thing. we have to learn that comfort is in the middle, between extremes, instead of being at the head of the group and bossing everyone around and turning everyone into an enemy so we can "preempt" everything, or instead of being a timid follower who doesn't solidify and assert their own opinions. we have to learn that we can find a stable middle ground where we can both identify with the group and disassociate from it without feeling in danger of losing our stability.

whereas a 4 feels inherently different than everyone else, i assume. lesser (edit - in a social context - like not being "complete" enough to fit in, or whatever). personally (as a 6) i feel difference from everyone - i have a secure sense that i am a special individual and beautifully unique in my own right - but not in a way that makes me lesser than others. i also assume we are -all- different in ways that make us "not fit" somehow.

It is important to understand that the compliant types are not neccessarily compliant to other people; they are, however, highly compliant to the demands of their superego. These three types try to obey the internalized rules, principles, and dictates that they have learned from childhood.
yes, definitely. i am stressed when i don't live up to the principles and expectations i internalized as a child. personally i'm not much the responsible companyperson, but i do have a strong superego fixation.


this seems like a 6 tantrum to me, lol. i mean, i have no idea if he's a 6 nor have i even ever seen this movie, he could be a blazing 4 for all i know, but i ran across this clip recently and it makes me laugh and it's like me when i'm upset. it's self-loathing but it's funny at the same time, you can see that even he finds it kind of funny, even though you know he's really hurting. and he's complaining to himself about his own procrastination and whatnot. i don't think 6s appreciate sadness as 4s can. like we might feel alone and messed up and stuff for a while, but it's probably more about our current situation than our identity. i get down on myself for what i fail to do, not for who i am.
 

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Interesting. When I walk into a room full of ppl I don't know my first reaction is to distance myself. This feeling of wrongness envelops me and it is hard to snap me out of it. Somehow I become aware of the social expectations really fast, the mood of the situation and my first reaction is to protect my ego form that. Hmm to repel outside influence. At the same time I experience fear of rejection as anxiety and my self confidence plummets because of shame. I feel like there is something wrong with me, like I'm different from others and lack something inside that they don't. This is when my situational SAD kicks in as small to medium groups of people are the trigger.

The thought of it is depressing. I feel isolated socially -.- yet at the same time I don't really want to connect that much either. If I get stressed then I can get clingy with friends too and at some level I have to admit i crave attention...which is shameful lol.

EDIT: Oh and I compensate for this by being distant and different which gets added to by my need to be myself. It's a strange mix that leads to me having a distant, cold and confident aura.
 

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whereas a 4 feels inherently different than everyone else, i assume. lesser.
Fours can actually tend to be narcissistic. Google it, or check out this thread: "Narcissism". We seemingly tend to be vain and think that we're superior.
 

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Discussion Starter #45
PlushWitch, although you’re asking for input on your enneagram type you might not like what I’m telling you. If you’re reacting against something I’m saying please notice how and against what you’re reacting. It’s your reactions which are very telling about your enneagram type.

NF 6w7s and 4s share quite some characteristics with each other, both usually have a low self-esteem, feel shame, see themselves as different and so on. The pattern is different though and where you can really see their differences is in the typical dichotomies of the type.

At the moment I don't know what a right thing would be. But maybe that's cause I'm crying. I'm trying to find my Enneagram type in order to find out what's wrong with me and how I "should behave" (aargh..."should behave" doesn't sound right...stupid language....sorry) according to who I am and then be accepted for who I am.

But I can't say that I'm not at all concerned about doing the "right" thing.

It's all just a great mess...
This makes it really clear to me that you’re not a type 4. First of, 4s want to be understood at a very deep level, you write of wanting to be accepted which fits in with the 6s wish to get acknowledged for what they are compared to the 4s desire to be understood and loved for who they are.( I really liked Angelfishs distinction.) But even if you see this as quibbling over words the context you put it into is lacking the want to be understood – don’t want to be understood dichotomy of 4s I talked about previously. The way you put it sounds like you want to find a way to fix what is hindering you of getting this acceptance whereas a 4 would feel the repulsion coming up.
With you I get another dichotomy from what you’re writing.
I know what is outwardly 'wrong' with me and what people are expecting me to behave like and what I should do in their eyes to be 'right'. But that's not what I want. Yes, I want to be accepted and all. But not at any cost.
http://personalitycafe.com/type-4-forum-individualist/55872-difference-4-6-pattern-2.html#post1323536
My post here was more slanted towards 6w5s. For 6w7s I think it’s better put like this:

Fulfilling expectations – rebelling against expectations.

6w7s are not so much about being dutiful nor does being independent is such a big thing for them, they rather want to be supported. Support and guidance are a way for them to cope with seeing themselves as unprepared in an insecure and unpredictable world. Fulfilling expectations will get them support whereas by rebelling against expectations is seen as making your own decision and stand up for what they are. You wrote neglecting who I am which I think ties in with wanting your self to be acknowledged.

Before your post I was thinking that a reason why especially 6w7s react against retypings might be because they might feel excluded. What you wrote about "what I should do in their eyes to being right" lets me think there’s really something to it. If type 4 is seen as the type of the cool people and a 6w7 wants to be a part of them she will adapt to it and try to fit the expectations (in ways which she is mostly unaware of). So if someone like me would come along and say no you’re not a 4, you’re a 6w7 it would be seen as not accepting the 6w7. Would you see this as likely?

Again the acceptance is something which points to 6w7 in another way. 6w7 is the type who wants to have support and normally in such situations like personality boards they are quite ready to give others (emotional) support and accept each other in a group. Finding other people who have similar problems like them seem to give them some comfort. 4s on the other hand are far more eclectic which has to do with their inner belief that they are different than others. So there’s much more a concentration on the differences. There’s much less "oh that is me", "oh that fits me."
 

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Fours can actually tend to be narcissistic. Google it, or check out this thread: "Narcissism". We seemingly tend to be vain and think that we're superior.
sure, but isn't it a dichotomy? my differentness makes me superior but also a misfit, i will never be understood by the world but i don't really want to be understood, etc?

i mean lesser in a social context, maybe i should indicate that.
 

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Discussion Starter #47
Angelfish, I hope you don’t mind me bringing up my perceptions. If I remember correctly you’re self-typing as a 6w7. Why? From how I perceive you and from what you wrote it fits 6w5. I have to ask you because I don’t think PlushWitch or another 6w7 will be able to relate that much to what you wrote and it may make matters more complicated if they try to relate to what you wrote.

Some short distinctions between those subtypes: Both see themselves as unprepared in an insecure and unpredictable world, but a 5wing lets a Six look for surety in her own mind, whereas a 7wing lets her look for support on the outside. Thus 6w5s are far more skeptical of the outside, whereas 6w7s are often trusting. For 6w5s it’s very important to stay independent (5influence).
Your thinking style is sharper, more concentrated as 6w7s and you can put someone under close scrutiny something 6w7s are not really up to.
sure, but isn't it a dichotomy? my differentness makes me superior but also a misfit, i will never be understood by the world but i don't really want to be understood, etc?

i mean lesser in a social context, maybe i should indicate that.
4s – feeling inferior – superior
6s – feeling inferior – feeling part of
 

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First of, 4s want to be understood at a very deep level, you write of wanting to be accepted which fits in with the 6s wish to get acknowledged for what they are compared to the 4s desire to be understood and loved for who they are.( I really liked Angelfishs distinction.)
thank you :) i do think i also feel the desire to be understood and loved for who i am. it is very frustrating to me when people misunderstand what i am trying to communicate. and i think everyone wants to be loved.

but yes, there's more of an emphasis on externally having a "place" for you. though in plush's case she was struggling with wording, so i think it's hard to tell what she is trying to say with that. these are very small differences!

Support and guidance are a way for them to cope with seeing themselves as unprepared in an insecure and unpredictable world.
maybe it's just a personal thing, but i do not feel a sense of unsteadiness or unpreparedness so much as i feel a sense of potential for danger. there are lots of things i am secure in - my family, my social groups, etc - but with things that aren't "locked down" - no contract, no binding agreement, not biological ties, etc - i feel like there is a sense that things could happen to dismantle that happiness. even if there is no reason to think that it will happen, really. to my sense, it is more about the outside than it is about myself internally. even though it is not, of course.

Before your post I was thinking that a reason why especially 6w7s react against retypings might be because they might feel excluded.[...] If type 4 is seen as the type of the cool people and a 6w7 wants to be a part of them she will adapt to it and try to fit the expectations (in ways which she is mostly unaware of).
this is a really good point - it may also easily be that we've internalized an ideal type (i think i did for a while with both 3 and 4), and being superego fixers, we feel like we're failing when we don't live up to that type.

so it's actually less about social expectation sometimes as much as it is what i expect of myself and what i want myself to be. i find this true with a lot of things in my life. let's take colleges - if i want to get into yale, but i don't, then i'm upset because i've not lived up to my expectation of what i should accomplish - and then it makes it 10 times worse if someone says they're disappointed in me.
 

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I'm a four who also scores high on six traits, so I can definitely relate to this thread. I tend to deviate from my "normal" self when I feel completely alone and rejected. I usually make an effort to fit in (although I can never fake it for long). I know that I'm being phony, but it no longer really matters and I'm almost proud of my phoniness. I feel like I'm just giving people a taste of their own medicine. Either that or I purposely act like a freak.
 

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4s – feeling inferior – superior
6s – feeling inferior – feeling part of
It's kind of depressing when it's spelled out like that; fours never "feel part of". How tragic-sounding.
 

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Angelfish, I hope you don’t mind me bringing up my perceptions. If I remember correctly you’re self-typing as a 6w7. Why? From how I perceive you and from what you wrote it fits 6w5. I have to ask you because I don’t think PlushWitch or another 6w7 will be able to relate that much to what you wrote and it may make matters more complicated if they try to relate to what you wrote.
you're right, 6w7, and that's fine! because i relate much more to 7 than 5, essentially. i actually thought i was a 7 when i first encountered the enneagram. i relate a lot to wanting to experience everything, to using an inflow of sensation to block out feelings of emptiness or pain, i am pretty spontaneous, fairly optimistic, seek freedom, and feel a bit edgy about being tied down. i definitely tend to be a generalist in terms of my skills and knowledge. i relate a little bit to 5, in the sense of wanting to be competent and liking knowledge, but those seem true for all the head types, and in general i feel like i relate to 7 far more.

Your thinking style is sharper, more concentrated as 6w7s and you can put someone under close scrutiny something 6w7s are not really up to.
haha well while i appreciate the compliment, i dunno why a 6w7 couldn't also be capable. it seems like any 6 should have a good capacity for analyzing things in detail.

4s – feeling inferior – superior
6s – feeling inferior – feeling part of
ah. that makes sense.

actually i relate perfectly to that. on tests in class, with my friends, i HATE scoring less than they do, but i don't really like scoring more, either. at least, not much more. a few points is nice. but really i'd just like everyone to do well. (and me to do slightly better). lol!
 

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Interesting. When I walk into a room full of ppl I don't know my first reaction is to distance myself. This feeling of wrongness envelops me and it is hard to snap me out of it. Somehow I become aware of the social expectations really fast, the mood of the situation and my first reaction is to protect my ego form that. Hmm to repel outside influence. At the same time I experience fear of rejection as anxiety and my self confidence plummets because of shame. I feel like there is something wrong with me, like I'm different from others and lack something inside that they don't. This is when my situational SAD kicks in as small to medium groups of people are the trigger.

The thought of it is depressing. I feel isolated socially -.- yet at the same time I don't really want to connect that much either. If I get stressed then I can get clingy with friends too and at some level I have to admit i crave attention...which is shameful lol.

EDIT: Oh and I compensate for this by being distant and different which gets added to by my need to be myself. It's a strange mix that leads to me having a distant, cold and confident aura.
I have SAD too. I think I tend to repel people because I'm sort of paranoid. I feel that most people are stronger than me and will hurt me if they get a chance, so I put up a cold, sarcastic, "i don't care what you think" front. Its totally counterproductive because I've met lots of people that I'd like to get to know but my paranoia gets in the way because I think they'd hurt me if they knew how weak I am.
 

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I have SAD too. I think I tend to repel people because I'm sort of paranoid. I feel that most people are stronger than me and will hurt me if they get a chance, so I put up a cold, sarcastic, "i don't care what you think" front. Its totally counterproductive because I've met lots of people that I'd like to get to know but my paranoia gets in the way because I think they'd hurt me if they knew how weak I am.
Hurt you emotionally you mean? If yes then yeah I get that too. It really sux. I'm sorry you have to through that :(.

actually i relate perfectly to that. on tests in class, with my friends, i HATE scoring less than they do, but i don't really like scoring more, either. at least, not much more. a few points is nice. but really i'd just like everyone to do well. (and me to do slightly better). lol!
:p what is wrong with scoring more? I was the only one in my class who could speak 4 languages fluently and still did better then most in maths and science, I never got a bad grade in sports either. Languages have always set me apart from others and it is the one ability I treasure the most in myself. There is nothing wrong with being superior skill wise to others, in fact I think it is something to strive for.

Been downloading ad reading books on the enneagram. I found this description of type 6 in one (it is probably the simplest approach I have seen yet).

Type Six - The Guardian

Type Six is a hard-headed thinker who applies practical intelligence to securing the wellbeing of a
group - such as a family, circle of friends, team, company or country. Sixes take their identity from
their position as loyal members of the group. Because of their ability to spot danger and put the
group interest first they are dependable team players. Problems arise when their identification
with the group leads to an ‘us and them’ mentality and they become suspicious of ‘outsiders’.
The stereotype of the Six is the policeman or security guard, prepared to put their life on the line
for the status quo, but they can be found as loyal members of any kind of team - such as those in
business, sport, the military, politics or the family.

At their best Sixes are loyal, trustworthy guardians whose ‘sixth sense’ for danger is placed at
the service of their community. They are able to keep a clear head even when alert for danger, and see potential threats in perspective, responding appropriately. They are happy to work tirelessly in
the background, without the need for special recognition. They are wise enough balance their
identification with their group with a healthy respect for others and their differences, and extend a
warm welcome to strangers.

At their worst they are suspicious and volatile, quick to accuse and slow to trust or forgive. Their
alertness spills over into paranoia. Both Fives and Sixes experience paranoia, with the difference
that Fives are typically paranoid about themselves as individuals, Sixes on behalf of the group.
Tormented by anxiety, they see everyone as a potential threat - ‘insiders’ are potential traitors,
‘outsiders’ are viewed with prejudice and can even be persecuted. The dark side of the Guardian
is the paranoid Bigot.

Wishful Thinking

We all experience point Six any time we feel part of a team and experience the sense of everyone
pulling together to achieve a common goal - and maybe start to see ‘outsiders’ as ‘the opposition’?
 

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Ok, this is why it took me so long to respond:

@Delphyne First off my reaction to what you wrote: I got a painful warm feeling that spread where my heart chakra is supposed to be (just using it for an indicating of the place). Later there was a strange feeling left that was in my stomach and my throat...

At the moment I don't know what a right thing would be. But maybe that's cause I'm crying. I'm trying to find my Enneagram type in order to find out what's wrong with me and how I "should behave" (aargh..."should behave" doesn't sound right...stupid language....sorry) according to who I am and then be accepted for who I am.
This makes it really clear to me that you’re not a type 4. First of, 4s want to be understood at a very deep level, you write of wanting to be accepted which fits in with the 6s wish to get acknowledged for what they are compared to the 4s desire to be understood and loved for who they are.( I really liked Angelfishs distinction.) But even if you see this as quibbling over words the context you put it into is lacking the want to be understood – don’t want to be understood dichotomy of 4s I talked about previously. The way you put it sounds like you want to find a way to fix what is hindering you of getting this acceptance whereas a 4 would feel the repulsion coming up.
Haha...nice...x)...you chose the paragraph where I had the biggest problem wording what I was trying to say. And I wanted to get over with writing this paragraph really quickly. I totally see that you need to concider the wording. But English isn't my first language and I'm actually consulting dict.leo.org quite often... :sad: But afaik I was not thinking along the lines of 'being acknoledged' when I wrote the word 'accepted'. What I REALLY want - but didn't feel while I wrote this because I wanted to get over with this paragraph - feels more like being 'embraced' (haha..dunno if that's the right word). But that's something I've learned I won't get from a lot of people who try to get to know me because I can't open up to them and I'm just a riddle to them
'Trying to understand you is like gripping into cotton wool'
or
'I just don't know how I can help you.'
or
'I don't know what I should do with you.'
...so it'd be good enough if people like the people who told me this stuff would just not judge or pitty me which makes me feel worse.
Yeah, didn't sound like I was saying that...

With you I get another dichotomy from what you’re writing.

I know what is outwardly 'wrong' with me and what people are expecting me to behave like and what I should do in their eyes to be 'right'. But that's not what I want. Yes, I want to be accepted and all. But not at any cost.
Fulfilling expectations – rebelling against expectations.
Doesn't feel like fulfilling expectations vs. rebelling, actually. :mellow: What I was trying to say was that I don't want to base what I am supposed to present - in the people's eyes I'm talking about - on some unhealthy grounding. Instead I first want/need to find out what my healthy self would be. If I base some kind of 'perfect person' on this unhealthy grounding not knowing what my personal potential is, I could easily trip and fall into some 'bad habit [haha...rabbit] hole'...or something...

6w7s are not so much about being dutiful nor does being independent is such a big thing for them, they rather want to be supported. Support and guidance are a way for them to cope with seeing themselves as unprepared in an insecure and unpredictable world. Fulfilling expectations will get them support whereas by rebelling against expectations is seen as making your own decision and stand up for what they are. You wrote neglecting who I am which I think ties in with wanting your self to be acknowledged.
The bolded stuff is correct. But the other...no idea... this doesn't cause any emotional reactions right now. I don't think trying to fulfill expectations will get me support, cause I will not even be able to meet most of them anyway. Rebelling against expectations doesn't make sense to me either. The only thing I can think of right now is saying to my mum that I won't do something anymore because I was just about to do it when she told me that I should do it...some time...long ago...repeatedly.
Dunno what to think or feel about this 'insecure and unpredictable world thing'. :mellow: Actually I do think the world can be quite predictable. Insecure...yeah, sure, stuff can happen, but...:mellow:

Before your post I was thinking that a reason why especially 6w7s react against retypings might be because they might feel excluded. What you wrote about "what I should do in their eyes to being right" lets me think there’s really something to it. If type 4 is seen as the type of the cool people and a 6w7 wants to be a part of them she will adapt to it and try to fit the expectations (in ways which she is mostly unaware of). So if someone like me would come along and say no you’re not a 4, you’re a 6w7 it would be seen as not accepting the 6w7. Would you see this as likely?
Hm... :mellow: I would want an explanation and think about it and read about those types and wonder what is me. And maybe I'd become a bit or very desperate...lol...I mean that's basically what's happening right now, isn't it? :wink: 4 was the very first type I went with because it was the only type I always scored high at. Asked some people if they could type me, got convinced that I'm a 6, went with that, got 5w4 9w1 4w5 on the PerC test and started to read a lot about the Enneagram. I could relate to type 5 and type 4 the most. Went with type 5 for a while. Wondered if I am a 4 instead of a 5. But didn't want to be a 4, yet wasn't convinced that 5 was correct. Always scored high on 5,6,4 followed by 9...wondered why I scored so high on 6, tried to get some help, was ok with being a 6w7 (maybe 2w3 yet not convinced of this) until I read the posts in this thread, cried for quite some time and...yeah...I don't know. It doesn't feel that great if every single word that I write counts and when I have to really focus on what I'm writing in order to fill every single word with life and find the right vocabulary stuff thing thing stuff thing....stuff...thing....BOOOM! I don't know what it feels like. And I'm not using the word 'to accept' anymore...:crazy: Let's see how long I'm going to make it...

Finding other people who have similar problems like them seem to give them some comfort. 4s on the other hand are far more eclectic which has to do with their inner belief that they are different than others. So there’s much more a concentration on the differences. There’s much less "oh that is me", "oh that fits me."
Yeah, it did give me a bit of comfort to find out that there is such a thing as personality types. As I said: I thought it would explain something. But I never went through the "You know you're an INFJ when..." thread having all kinds of enlightening "oh that's me" moments. There are only few lists I can relate to almost fully...and there will always be a few things that I don't relate to. That's why I have thanked only few posts made there. Yeah, I'm concentrating on the difference most of the time.

4s – feeling inferior – superior
Yup...secretly at least...It's a constly switching thing...sometimes balanced...
...yet I prefer to work without hierarchies.

6s – feeling inferior – feeling part of
'Being a part of' doesn't work. I can't deny that I've always wanted to belong to some group and be liked by them. But it never worked that way for me and doubt it ever will...only for a while...but then...*runs* or *is ignored*


blah...I'm still finding stuff that actually needs some changing...but I'm tired of writing. :crazy:
 

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:p what is wrong with scoring more? I was the only one in my class who could speak 4 languages fluently and still did better then most in maths and science, I never got a bad grade in sports either. Languages have always set me apart from others and it is the one ability I treasure the most in myself. There is nothing wrong with being superior skill wise to others, in fact I think it is something to strive for.
wow 4 languages? that's awesome.

it's not so much being more skilled but in making others feel bad. you know that twinge of disappointment you get when you see you didn't do as well as a friend, even though you tried? i don't want other people to have to experience that sadness, too. so if i get a 98 and my other friends get a 94 and 93, well, that's great, because we all did really well (and i still win). or even a 98 and 89, whatever. just two respectable grades. but i feel bad if i get a 98 and my friend gets a 76. that's no fun. i like it best when everybody succeeds.
 

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Ok, this is why it took me so long to respond:

@Delphyne First off my reaction to what you wrote: I got a painful warm feeling that spread where my heart chakra is supposed to be (just using it for an indicating of the place). Later there was a strange feeling left that was in my stomach and my throat...



Haha...nice...x)...you chose the paragraph where I had the biggest problem wording what I was trying to say. And I wanted to get over with writing this paragraph really quickly. I totally see that you need to concider the wording. But English isn't my first language and I'm actually consulting dict.leo.org quite often... :sad: But afaik I was not thinking along the lines of 'being acknoledged' when I wrote the word 'accepted'. What I REALLY want - but didn't feel while I wrote this because I wanted to get over with this paragraph - feels more like being 'embraced' (haha..dunno if that's the right word). But that's something I've learned I won't get from a lot of people who try to get to know me because I can't open up to them and I'm just a riddle to them or or ...so it'd be good enough if people like the people who told me this stuff would just not judge or pitty me which makes me feel worse.
Yeah, didn't sound like I was saying that...



Doesn't feel like fulfilling expectations vs. rebelling, actually. :mellow: What I was trying to say was that I don't want to base what I am supposed to present - in the people's eyes I'm talking about - on some unhealthy grounding. Instead I first want/need to find out what my healthy self would be. If I base some kind of 'perfect person' on this unhealthy grounding not knowing what my personal potential is, I could easily trip and fall into some 'bad habit [haha...rabbit] hole'...or something...

[/I][/SIZE]


i disagree with delphynne on the part that that made you look liek a 4.

when you said the thing about "should behave" i got the feeling you were trying to say you were makin sure you were being "true to yourself" and not fooling yourself into adopting an artificial image on who you are and who you are destined to grow into.
right?
haven't finished reading a lot of these posts, this is just somethign i felt strongly while reading this.

ah and then you said
Doesn't feel like fulfilling expectations vs. rebelling, actually. What I was trying to say was that I don't want to base what I am supposed to present - in the people's eyes I'm talking about - on some unhealthy grounding. Instead I first want/need to find out what my healthy self would be. If I base some kind of 'perfect person' on this unhealthy grounding not knowing what my personal potential is, I could easily trip and fall into some 'bad habit [haha...rabbit] hole'...or something...
so i guess that's where i was tryna go with this..


but i'm not saying you're a 4 or a 6.. just that this made you seem like a 4 in my opninion.though other reasons may be credible in pointing towards you being a 6. i'll try to read more then let ya know what i think.. :X
 

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'Being a part of' doesn't work. I can't deny that I've always wanted to belong to some group and be liked by them. But it never worked that way for me and doubt it ever will...only for a while...but then...*runs* or *is ignored*



hmm are you a social 4? or what?
edit:well what are your instinctual stackings??

btw.. you may think you're so/sx 4 and end up being sx/sp 6 or something. just saying diff types make for the possibility in relating more to different subtype descriptions. so when you thought you were a so/sx 4, those so/sx aptitudes actually came from being a 6.. and you're actually a sx/sp.. not that i see this happen a lot, i'm just stressing that I deem a lootttt of importance in instinctual stackings..

here's a good site on determining them (that's type neutral) : http://www.enneagramdimensions.net/articles/subtype_relationships.pdf
 

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o.o well the point of all this is to figure out at what point we stand and where we need to move. For me its like this: I'm isolated and distance myself, I am wallowing in depression and succumbing to my feelings, not doing enough work (5 and 4)...not sure about the body triad, probably 1...its fuzzy, but a bit of 7 and loosening up would dome some good.

So what I need to move towards is type 8 from 5, to engage, to be more present, more assertive and confident, towards type 1 from 4 in order to objectively criticize myself and get rid of the bad habit of falling prey to my emotions and not doing anything because of it.

The whole point of this is not to box ourselves in, but to figure out at what point we started stagnating, where are we trapped and how do we get out of that in order to become a healthy us.

I need to work on points 8, 1 and maybe 7...still trying to figure out the body triad..probably 9w1 which would imply a bit of 7 and 3 for growth.
 

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Yeah...I was also trying to find my type with the help of variant stackings.

No, I didn't think I'm an so/sx 4. Actually the sp/sx description for 4s also fit me quite well...or so I thought. But you're right, this 'sounds' more like an so/sx. sx/sp doesn't seem very off either, actually. But maybe that would actually make me more assertive than I really am...? :mellow: Though I don't know if 4s are assertive...uh...whatever. :confused:

What i'm sure of (afaik...lol) is that I'm some kind of sp/sx or sx/sp.

I just read this 6 sx/sp description. And it seemed quite off, actually. 6 sp/sx doesn't seem to be AS off...but I don't go 'oh that's me' or anything. :wink:
But then I think I might just not be knowing my motivations...no idea.
 

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Hmm maybe this can help. When I find something like a song or video, picture, lyrics, piece of writing or whatever that stirs a stronger emotion in me...then I bleed it dry. I listen, watch etc over and over to feel that emotion more and more till the it is bled dry and doesn't stir that feeling in me as strongly as it did before. Then I leave it for a few months and then find it again and it is almost as fresh as it was at the start :p....think this is a 4ish thing. After a while it gets old and I move on.
 
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