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@nicoloco90 I appreciate the apology for the misandrist thing.
Apart from that, again can't thank your post because I don't agree with it. Which obvsly is fine.
The quote you posted of me from another thread proves nothing about what's in my brain tbh. I don't favor men nor women nor queer people. And there's plenty of content written by me out there where I expand on the subject of dating. It has nothing to do with gender beyond the fact that I choose to share my life with a male human -when I could easily choose a female given that I am pansexual- but a man (the right one) fulfills me emotionally much more than any other gender. So if I date men, I'll talk about men, it's that simple. And I have every right to express my personal experiences. If 99% of a group of people I encounter happens to interact with me in a certain way, I will say that. And there's plenty of posts where I talk about the 1%. You're picking and choosing info. What I do believe is that some of my statements about men trigger something in you and you take them personally. That's a choice. I read plenty of things against women in the threads and all I can do is either ignore it or -when I have the energy to discuss (which isn't often)- discuss.
I also don't see what you say about people looking for thanks. I don't think most people come to these forums to fish for thanks. That's the opposite of authenticity. So we just fundamentally see people in different lights (meaning I don't believe that people reply looking for thanks, but to share their POV). If many people happen to agree on a thing, then they agree. And it's coincidence, not trying to be cool.
Also, being selfish when in relationships is necessary, the healthy kind of selfish. And selfish means being extremely honest with yourself. It means not trying to please this person or this other person, but going within and resolving your own stuff in your heart and your mind.

I took the subject of this thread to PMing the OP because there are things about my personal life that I won't discuss in a public forum. But at the same time I don't feel comfy dragging you & I's disagreements in the thread. I think you kinda feel the same way at this point, because nobody likes to argue forever, but I'm just guessing your feelings, I don't know.

But honestly, I don't see why you have to become highly emotional over people's responses. I've been in plenty of threads (one example would be the one about INFPs and INFJs reading people) where I'll read the posts, disagree with everybody and just write my own post. Nothing wrong with saying "I disagree with ya'll and this is my personal experience on the subject..." and proceed to write your own stuff. People will take it or leave it, it's just an open discussion.

and that when it comes to relationship-contexts that being selfish is a good thing. I find it worrying and shortsided based on info at hand, and basically already supporting an exit-strategy in terms of the relationship instead of first exploring other parts (e.g. communication, history). Yes you provided it, but it was more like second-hand.
I mean if enough people start off that way with that sort of ''support'' that fits the exit-strategy for OP, it is already very much leading. (I don't want to suggest that anyone per se lets themselves be influenced by some forum when it comes to life-changing decisions)
That last bit is what I was going to say. But you said it yourself, so yeah, good sentence. That's exactly my mindframe when I reply to people. I don't think for a second that they'll take anyone's replies as gospel. I trust an OP's judgment and intelligence.

OP, I'm sorry we derailed your thread :S I'm really trying to keep my posts as short as possible, but there's quite a lot of points to discuss in what's going on :S

Anyways, like I said, the OP already knows her own answers, I think, from what I saw in the previous page. Sometimes people just need to say things out loud (aka in a forum) and then they themselves realise their own answers within after speaking out loud. Getting a variety of POVs is definitely healthy though, but in the end we all do what our insides tell us.
 
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I heard there's a post not showing up. I have this too at times, but what helped is when you just post again. The post missing has always been the top of the next page and you can't see it because it won't show the next page...

Ah, I see, it worked :)
 

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Thanks @Baf yeah nico and I were just talking about this PerC problem elsewhere. It's been happening a lot since they did maintenance a couple weeks ago. I hope they realise and fix it tic toc tic toc...
 

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@entheos - okay yeah well, a lot of defence and reasoning on your part to justify your parts, that's ok. But that still doesn't do anything to explore the opposite (to yours and maybe general consensus) perspectives surrounding the situation by OP. I guess I went in too strong or forcefully for that to happen. But anyway, since you explained most of it now in terms of how you see it (added context) I have nothing else to criticise/complain about :p
 

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@nicoloco90 The "justifying" that you mention is nothing more than added context, like you said in the end. At this point, agree to disagree imo.
 
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The INFJ is not right with that so no, no applause, and he doesn't respect others' relationships, simple. Besides, I find it quite a big assumption of yours towards the INTP that he is somehow ''suddenly saving ship'' after 8 years. If OP never mentioned her needs before these few months ago, INTP may not have seen that shortcoming and whatnot. That wasn't explicitly stated, so there may still be enough to say about OP's communication style as well in the relationship as a whole, in terms of voicing her needs.
Anyway, I read quite some other posts of yours Entheos, and generally you seem quite misandrist. I probably get shitface'd saying this and asking women tough confronting questions (or just get ignored with no answers) ... and not essentially cheering their own perspective and thats it. But, on the other side it seems that criticism/complains about men go with free pass around INFP section, balance is off. Ehh.

I don't know, I mean it is easy to know what kind of reply is popular and deemed ''supportive'' -> yay go be free, go be happy, you deserve more, you deserve different, go be selfish because it's good and healthy now. But I also don't agree with @Sangoire suggestions that the relationship with INTP is faulty or lacking because the INFJ can offer different things that OP gets attract and excited about. Duh, that will always be the case no matter with whom you are, left or right. So I find it all too simplistic to either highlight shortcomings in this relationship as clearcut arguments to support a decision to just drop it all, and too simplistic to criticise INTPs input without knowing how they even got to that place in the relationship in the first place, other than a synopsis of the last few months.
Hi there ... for the record, my answer had nothing to do with being "popular". It comes from bitter experience. I know that once I have nothing left to idealise about a relationship - it's done. I have tried staying longer and it doesn't work. Have you ever seen a relationship die the death of a thousand cuts? I have, I have even inflicted those cuts myself, much to my shame. I promise you that, for me, this type of dynamic is far more deleterious to my self esteem than a clean, honest break. After a while, if I stay too long,I start feeling like a liar, a pretender ... in short, I start hating my lack of integrity to myself.

I choose not to take offense at your wording, because I trust that it has come from the best of you ... I respect that. You even make some great points. I especially liked your suggestion to break up and wait ... I think it is unrealistic advice in the current circumstanc, but I agree that it needed to be said. I would ask, that you extend me the same courtesy and trust that anything I say, has come from the best inside me and that I have deemed that it is something that should be said. I like that you disagree with me ... that's fantastic for debate ... but I don't like it when someone implies that I am so hungry for "thanks" that I will compromise my ethics. It feels like a punch in the Fi. That makes me have to work extra hard to not reject your other, excellent points.

I apologise if I have upset you with this comment and I look forward to reading your future posts, because I quite enjoy your differing viewpoints.
 
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