"Directed" by dreams? Listening? Even... superstition?

2103 Views 18 Replies 9 Participants Last post by Thalassa, Aug 29, 2013

Queen Qualia

Discussion Starter · Aug 9, 2013

I know this title sounds silly in a way, but I am just curious how seriously other ISFPs take their dreams. Not the silly ones really, but... Other ones?

I find I have based several of my... internal decisions on unexpected dreams. I find I have more "helpful" dreams in times of confusion. I don't interpret my dreams or anything like that, but they do cause me to think about things differently than before, and I get strong feelings, often accompanied by surprising and natural-feeling inner strength to accomplish something I was too weak to do before. I have been persuaded and sculpted by what I have dreamed before. These dreams can be extremely painful and fearful. I have never admitted to others, but these "fear dreams" have helped me let go of things that were bad for me several times. Or at least change my attitude. I still remember a couple of them from years ago, vaguely. Or at least what they made me think or realize.

I have never alluded to this much to anyone in real life, because it feels so silly, but be honest, do any of you find you trust your dreams or the thought they cause to leave you with, more than you'd like to admit?

I am nowhere near saying it is anything remotely like, "I dreamt I should shoplift, I guess I'll go do that". I am not talking about slavish, automaton response. I am thinking more along the lines of thought processes and maybe ?guilt complexes?. Or being relieved by your subconscious from the helpless pain of being in-denial.

I also have learned to rely on gut instincts that sometimes have to do with feelings of or "memories" of deja-vu, which I also am embarrassed to admit, especially when I say that it has made me glad that I had several times. (for a basic ex. 'I had a deja-vu Dad was mad at me for doing such and such, so then I find I won't do such and such when the "deja-vu" situation presents itself in real life,' even though I will feel superstitious about it if I stop to analyze. Or in other instances, I will do exactly the opposite of what I dreamed -- sometimes I go ahead and do the thing that supposedly is going to "make the sky fall", if it seemed a really silly thing -- like, if that's what I felt the dream or deja-vu was really about. Getting over something silly. Or if too many circumstances all seem to familiar, as if from a deja-vu, then I will suspect something is about to happen. etc. etc.) It all seems very phobic/counterphobic in nature. Relying on instincts. And feelings. I personally don't think it's superstitious, it feels normal to me, but I worry others would.

So, is it just me, or does anyone else relate? I feel like such a crackpot talking about this. :frustrating:

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Queen Qualia

Discussion Starter · #6 · Aug 17, 2013

I'd hardly know, but judging from your reaction I'd say it could imply, shot in the dark, you either have death on the mind, or fear death, or fear certain aspects of death. Or, maybe there's something on your mind that "just won't die already"? Seems like I sometimes have dreams about people or even things who can't seem to die/who I thought died/are now living-are now dead/came back from nowhere, when I'm really stressed. I also find that kind of dream stressful. At some point in the dream I find myself wishing unspoken that person would die. I associate it with my wanting to resolve a problem. Did you have that vibe?

Just ideas.

Honestly though, aside from the specifics, sounds like a dream I would have. Especially the kind of details you noticed and remembered.

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Queen Qualia

Discussion Starter · #8 · Aug 18, 2013

BleaK said:
Wow you're good. I have in fact been thinking about death a lot. I practically meditate on it and I'd be lying if I said I didn't fear it. So i associated the dream with what's been going on in my head while I'm awake. But my reaction to the whole thing was pretty dull. It just grabbed my attention more than usual because I'm surprised I didn't have more dreams like this.

I didn't get the wanting to solve a problem vibe as you've said. There was really almost no feeling except a little bit of fear when I saw the woman's gaunt face. My dreams (just like this one) are very vivid and very in the moment. I can still remember the trees, the leaves, the sun, the sloped hill, all the gravel under my shoes, what the woman wore and even the temperature but I never really get that feeling where I want to solve something.

When a problem arises I just take it and try to deal with the issue alone as best I can with what I've got, in this case death. I've been coming to terms with myself that I wont know when I'll die and that whatever happens after will either suck or be the opposite. I do believe in the afterlife and coming to terms with an unexpected death is fine with me but not knowing what'll happen frightens me.

It's interesting that in your dream you wish a person would die in result of your want for a solution. Do you think your problems in real life are manifested into people in your dreams? For example you see an accountant in your dream which could represent your financial problems or struggles. Or are you talking about something completely different?

Not completely different, just less direct of an association maybe. Then again, back as a young teen when I had sexual problems, a few terrible dreams about rapists helped me with my problem.I was scared to death.

I guess I think less of symbolism and more of emotional states, my roles (what am I in this dream? Why am I doing this?), and cues to things that happen. I would also be more focused on what is being said in the dream, as well as the surroundings. But the emotion sticks with me the most.

I guess I don't exactly feel that I've had premonitions really, with dreams, it's more like knots being untangled. (Although I did dream about a plane crashing into a mountain two nights before 9/11, but I don't take that seriously). I omce had another dream that made me feel better about my decision to teach dance as well.

The deja vu are the ones that I get "future" insight, but in turn I can't tell if it is something I actually did see before, or simply... Deja vu. What scientifically happens during a deja vu, is actually a shortcut of an image straight to your memory part of your brain, bypassing the processing part. Since I tend to process my surroundings quite a bit, I find deja vus powerful feelings. Just suddenly knowing stuff, intensely. I almost just wonder if it enhances my mind a bit, and helps ME think ahead better, or notice something less from an observant level and more from a... Like ferroequinokogist said, Ni level. Seeing the pattern more than the reality, but still in the reality, just for a split second. Insight.

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Queen Qualia

Discussion Starter · #10 · Aug 20, 2013

I do dwell on a certain emotion, and it does get intense, but it's only if I try to verbally express it to another so they could understand that I feel insane. I feel that way about expressing anything, speaking or writing. It's so incomplete-feeling, I will write and write and write and it doesn't ever feel complete, so I just chop it off, never want to see it again.

Really some things aren't meant to be recorded from what I can tell. Now that makes me a bit crazy sad. I feel so... Displaced having no record of anything much. I never could keep diaries, letter writing is about like talking to myself. Makes me feel worthless when I think about it too much. Forgotten, in a way. I feel dumb taking pictures and writing about events, old blog posts o ly serve ti make me angry, and I never do any of it effectively, but time just keeps slipping by. Makes me so angry. I haven't done anything with my life that will do much for me or lastingly. Ugh

Maybe I do sound a bit insane.

dumb emotions, haha. I'd rather dance what I feel, to be honest. Or sweep the floor with it. Trying to catch it in something permanent almost has too much pressure or something. I will never be satisfied enough with results to have it be to last forever.

Ugh this topic makes me feel nihilistic and existential.

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Queen Qualia

Discussion Starter · #12 · Aug 20, 2013

It just makes me sad that I can feel so much as I do and so little of it means anything to anyone anywhere. It's all just... Me. It means nothing outside of itself, in any lasting sense. I dunno. Lol. How do you put your soul to good purpose??? Very frustrating. I've been trying to think of a job for months. What I want to do, I am not capable of, and what I could do, does not interest me or I find obstacles. I feel so helpless.

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Queen Qualia

Discussion Starter · #14 · Aug 20, 2013

BleaK said:
It definitely sucks to have nobody recognize what you're feeling especially when a type like ISFP can never get it out. I've learned to just accept it and some people don't even care what you're feeling which is fine because talking about feelings and emotions so openly to acquaintances just gives me a weird feeling.

I just worked at some lumber place that dealt with wood. It was the worst job experience I've ever had. After that I made a choice that I didn't want to do these odd jobs forever because the money is unstable and I only get these offers so rarely. So feeling useless is very familiar with me. The only option I can think of now as a way of bringing in stable money realistically is a career. But everything just seems like a big gamble with money. Nothing seems guaranteed. So many people that have graduated from colleges are still unemployed and are in deep debt...

^All that. Yes.

And worse even, is it seems my parents would be happy to support my lazy butt for a long time, so I don't feel very supported in my attempts to get a life. It is so degrading. I hate being a bum, so depressing, but I've been coddled and protected so long. They'd be happy to let me be useless and pass me off being that useless person to a husband who'd just expect me to be pretty and pushover.

That's all I really want anyway, is my own family and my own man to love and support, but I at least want to be a useful and educated/experienced wife! Not to mention you never meet people if you're slacking at home all the time anyway. Ugh. Makes me sick sometimes, like today. Trapped in this damn house of ease and taint and dilapidation.

I'm so stressed over my lack of use and lack of freedom, that it is only making it harfer to find a job too. And I can't even handle being with my friends now, and recently, now church too is hinging on my desperation over my inferior useless lazy feelings.

My parents are stubborn strict hardasses in all the wrong ways and nonw of the right ways. I'm not allowed to barely have friends, but I'm not expected or challenged to have any success or ambition either. So I end up with these painful voids.

They'd probably send me to college if I had a strong whim to, but I don't want to be wasteful, don't want to feel further attached to this family than I already do by having monetary help, and neither am I interested in spending my time learning something I might decide I don't like, merely for escapist purposes. I want to be serious.

What I really want is an apprenticeship or personal assistant job of some sorts. Or hell, just moving a hundred mikes to live with my awesome ENFP aunt and being her employee for awhile would be awesome!!! Classes don't interest me anyway, on a large scale.

I do odd jobs too, very rarely. I relish them, but I want much more.

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