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Have you ever just run away from something, to start anew, to get space and understand things better from a distance (even if in hindsight you ran away and it's too late to fix?)

Essentially I'm trying to ask, do INFPs feel the same urge some ENFPs do to pull a disappearing act to explore just how green the grass is on the other side?
 

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There's always much more of a reason for me doing this, other than just for the sake of change itself (actually I'm awfully sentimental). It really depends on the situation and also what your idea of "running away" is. If nothing serious, I am often pretty content with just dreaming about how much greener it is. The deal with me is that I usually just randomly notice how green things already are. I can stare at a tree for years, and still find new, "greener" things about it that were actually there all along.

In situations dealing with people, it's normal for me to disappear in some shape or form. So when it comes to space from people, that's a definite yes! I'll disappear in a pinch if someone is being too clingy/I just don't like them, if I feel suffocated and things don't feel right, or if my values feel threatened by them. I do withdraw a lot from people in general, not always for bad reasons - I need my space. Otherwise I'm not that fond of change, it can easily throw me into a Fi-Si loop. I don't think I need to be at a distance or away from X to understand X better. I like being at a distance in general because things can be too overwhelming, but not necessarily because I need to understand X. My main reason is to recharge and be alone. Needing to understand things would be mixed with 80+ other reasons why I want to recharge. I like going away to be alone, but only for a short while. Depending on what I'm leaving.

If it's too late to fix...well I'm a moron with time anyway, I rarely even understand or realize that to begin with until it's really too late to fix. It would have to die, go through fossilization, then excavation, and only when it's displayed at a museum will I finally realize it's actually over.

I often find myself hating a new thing for a while, with there rarely being a good reason for why other than the fact that it is new and I miss the old. I have a terrible issue of being abnormally focused on nostalgia and the past. While it's true that I can't stand tedium, changing things by only a small amount will most likely satisfy me, as long as the situation isn't serious (like a threatened value). In context other than people, I'm usually fine with my surroundings and become easily attached to the environment if there's nothing that actually feels very wrong. So I would never have any intentions of leaving forever or a long time, and If I must, I pretty much always come back for a visit. But I need a decent basis of familiarity in my life to be happy. I can't be a nomad every day of my life and feel happy. I need long term.

Although, it can be challenging to feel satisfied with myself because my standards are insanely high. I feel I can always become better, be better...much, much better. but that is debilitating if I fail to control it.

(Btw my ENFP friend has talked about exactly what you seem to be expressing here, numerous times :tongue:)
 

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Have you ever just run away from something, to start anew, to get space and understand things better from a distance (even if in hindsight you ran away and it's too late to fix?)

Essentially I'm trying to ask, do INFPs feel the same urge some ENFPs do to pull a disappearing act to explore just how green the grass is on the other side?
Yeaaaaa, actually I think I'm doing that now. Like leaving something to come back and appreciate it more from being away for so long?
 

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I've fantasized about leaving and never coming back once or twice, but I don't think I'd act on it (unless something really serious happened to me/ people close to me), I'd do it to get away from a painful/traumatic event (trying to avoid suffering).
But I don't really have an urge to see if the grass is greener on the other side :).
 

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1 Have you ever just run away from something, to start anew,

2 to get space and understand things better from a distance

3 (even if in hindsight you ran away and it's too late to fix?)


4 Essentially I'm trying to ask, do INFPs feel the same urge some ENFPs do to pull a disappearing act to explore just how green the grass is on the other side?
1. Yes, once, almost ten years ago. Led me to the lovely life I created for myself. At the time, I was in the beginning stages of creating a new life, and the people around me didn't want me to change, they tried to pull me down, so I left because in my eyes they weren't people I wanted in my life anymore, they were poison trying to sabotage everything.

2. No, not to get space. I don't need space. When I leave a situation or a person it's because I am already 100% sure that it's over.

3. Nope, I've never experienced this thing you describe of looking back and thinking it was a mistake or something. I've never regretted leaving something or someone, because like I said, when I leave I'm 100% sure it's the right and only choice.

4. No, I don't feel this urge. I've read INFPs in other threads talk about how they love to disappear randomly, travel the world, change their group of friends on a whim, or other "escapist" stuff. This is one of those things about INFPs that I don't relate to.
When I leave a situation or person it's because there is no future in it. I don't believe that the grass might be greener elsewhere, I just know 100% what I want in life, and I pursue it. Everyone or everything who doesn't fit my vision, who want to drag me down like crabs in a bucket, who depress me, etc etc I just leave. Not because of wonderings that maybe the grass is greener elsewhere, but because the present situation is complete shit and it's time for me to go, declutter, delete.

ps: Hadn't seen you in a while FF, I love your threads :)
 

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Does dropping out of college count? In that sense, it was too late to try to fix things and going back wasn't an efficient option.

I'm not sure if I've pulled a disappearing act before. Unless it's the context of friends, I have yes. In the past, I've gone from chatting friends for hours a day regularly for months, to 2-3 month stretches of zero contact. I enjoy being alone but nowadays I don't turn down opportunities to be social and maintain relationships.

I don't need space, so much as I overthink whether or not I'm suffocating select friends.

Exploring grass on the greener side isn't much of a thing I've given much thought to. It's just a different perspective with different problems. "Or maybe it's greener cuz it's fertilized with bullshit?" I'm not sure if I've had this mentality before, but if I have I couldn't tell you.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Yeaaaaa, actually I think I'm doing that now. Like leaving something to come back and appreciate it more from being away for so long?
Yeah, or leaving it to know if you do appreciate it.

(Btw my ENFP friend has talked about exactly what you seem to be expressing here, numerous times :tongue:)
Haha, yeah, it's my life, really. I'm curious to see if this is a defining trait that is purely ENFP and not INFP. So far, I think you are all proving my theory right. Whilst you fantasise, you don't act. Because we act first then react later being extraverts.


ps: Hadn't seen you in a while FF, I love your threads :)
Aw, thanks, I'm flattered. Yeah, it just suddenly hit me that I'd been keeping myself cooped up in the ENFP corner... I needed to stretch my legs, talk to more people. So... I keep it to the NF forums instead.
 
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Yeppers, but it's usually the result of a build-up I've suppressed for so long. I'm not sure I could spontaneously go "I'm running away today" without any forethought, unless I had company.

The times I had were to find freedom, or to reassure myself that I wasn't going to spend the future stuck in a job or building a career for somebody else's benefit. Sure, it's been to get space and distance, but really it was to find clarity and purpose and stability. Back in school I wouldn't even show up some mornings because I felt so outcasted and neglected, that as I drove to school, I would take another route and drive elsewhere. "And where in God's name have you been?" my mother would say on my arrival, for the school had for the umpteenth time called her. "I'm not quite sure," would be my response.

The trouble with the grass being greener on the other side is that it doesn't matter what side of the fence I'm standing on, I'm always going to see what I could have had, rather than focusing on what I do have. I love to start new things, to chase the original high, I suppose, but to settle myself seriously down seems to me a laborious task. In school, I think it was that institutional feeling of sustained routine which could never be altered that frustrated me. In adulthood, a feeling of hopelessness.

Anais Nin — 'And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.'
 

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I quit a career in my mid-twenties, that's as close as I've come to that. Although moving out for the first time was kinda like that, and it changed a lot of things for me (ended a lot of school relationships, not in a bad way but just that I became a different person with freedom).
 

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Thought about this some more and I sometimes do 'disappear'. I don't physically run away but I retreat within myself and go into 'hermit mode'. It makes it easier to put some distance between me and whatever is bothering me. It also helps me process it.
 

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Have you ever just run away from something, to start anew, to get space and understand things better from a distance (even if in hindsight you ran away and it's too late to fix?)

Essentially I'm trying to ask, do INFPs feel the same urge some ENFPs do to pull a disappearing act to explore just how green the grass is on the other side?
Heck yes, all the time! In most aspects of my life!
 

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Have you ever just run away from something, to start anew, to get space and understand things better from a distance (even if in hindsight you ran away and it's too late to fix?)

Essentially I'm trying to ask, do INFPs feel the same urge some ENFPs do to pull a disappearing act to explore just how green the grass is on the other side?

Definitely bro, all the time. It makes me feel guilty a bit afterward but in the moment I just feel like I'm gonna explode or something like a heart attack. I distance myself from people all the time. Sometimes never speaking to them again. If I get negative vibes from someone especially.
 

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I do have some romantic escapist fantasies which are just that-fantasies. I gotta make a living after all, and if I fully indulge in the INFP and hermit mode, life would be very enjoyable but financially interesting. I indulge in these fantasies only in short bursts.

I have the recurring thought of connecting with nature either by travelling or training (outdoor sport, martial arts) somewhere solo. Picture a cold mountain lake, barely any people, a cool breeze and all around just serene, sublime nature. It puts me at ease, makes me relax, removes the clutter from an otherwise stressful life. Henry David Thoreau had the right idea hehe

Connecting to my inner spirituality would also be healing and satisfy some degree of connection. Becoming a fully-fledged monk might be overdoing it, but meditation is a nice outlet.
 

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  • I don't have a desire for the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Waaaaay too lazy to climb the fence to get into the other pasture. I prefer viewing the scenery/beauty from my own pasture, not someone else's. That is the pasture I created for heaven's sake! The thought of living any place other than what I built, I find repulsive. Unwanted and unnecessary.
  • Disappear? All the friggin' time. I have a lifetime of this: hiding from people who want to do things or watch a movie together, go shopping at the mall, get together. There are no "goodbye messages" from me "Hi!!! I'm leaving now.. be sure to write!!!" :p -- I just kind of move on down the road and hope no one makes a scene about it. Drift out like a ghost spirit. No parades. I hate closure, anyways... so embarrassing when you have to say "Hello!" to someone you wrote a long goodbye to, 30 years earlier.

  • I am just like the father in the book "Party Of One" by Anneli Rufus, who lived for tinkering in his garage alone and whose last words to his daughter, on his death bed were -- "leave me alone". I am Garbo -- "I vant to be let alone...". I never feel as healthy as, when I am with myself alone, or with just one other loved person (husband or mother or father).

 

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Discussion Starter #16
So, in general you guys have proven my hypothesis, whilst, yes, there are some adventurous INFPs out there, mostly, it seems like INFPs are content daydreamers, more passive or, perhaps, just better at analysing what they want/need without the need to experience it all (I envy that last part).

I'm not going to talk on behalf of all ENFPs because... well, I know a lot that wouldn't approve to my kind of lifestyle of running into something new for the sake of something new without much thought and to look at things from afar.

When I say escape a lot of you go to the idea of hermit mode. I've had a few moments like that in my life but really I'd rather escape with someone and to somewhere than to retreat to a safe space. We need a little adventure and there's only so much fantasising you can do-- scratch that-- only so much fantasising I can do before it drives me insane and I need to try it out.

(P.S. @Sily your signature amuses me to no end. Makes me want to go into as much depth on all the useless archetypes... and now I'm curious what you know about your "past life" and I wonder what level I'm at in D&D )
 

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... @Sily your signature amuses me to no end. Makes me want to go into as much depth on all the useless archetypes... and now I'm curious what you know about your "past life" and I wonder what level I'm at in D&D...
Yes, my signature is supposed to be satirical. :eek:h: Wish I could include everything, all the results, I've taken over the years, from this section, some are so funny -- http://personalitycafe.com/personality-test-resources/ . Guessing on my past lives is here and here. Your D&D test can be taken here from this thread .
 

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I disappear all the time. I actually just posted about this- the amount that I do so though just depends on what is going on in my life during that period. For instance, right now i'm in medical school which unfortunately has been keeping under huge amounts of stress-especially being an INFP in a program that requires you to be 100% on the ball ALL the time. It's quite draining for my type.

Then coupling that with other responsibilities in life for me such as maintaining relationships, it just becomes too much sometimes. I am actually on one of my hermit modes currently; so i've deactivated my social media accounts as well as turned off my phone. When I come back just depends on when I feel "recharged."

I often consider leaving to a new place- I actually plan to here soon since we are starting clinicals soon. Ive opted to go out of state, of course my friends and family are bummed about it but i'm in need of a serious recharge/finding myself- if thats makes any sense.
 

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Have you ever just run away from something, to start anew, to get space and understand things better from a distance (even if in hindsight you ran away and it's too late to fix?)

Essentially I'm trying to ask, do INFPs feel the same urge some ENFPs do to pull a disappearing act to explore just how green the grass is on the other side?
Any urges to start anew are when I know I have exhausted options applying to my current situation, and need to 'reset'. Haven't ever run away from something, not to get space either (though I may withdraw for a certain time).

I don't want to disappear just to explore, either. It would be to create a new normal for myself, when I've realized that my mindset just is not where it used to be, or where I desire it to be. I embrace change for the improvements it will bring me, but not just for the sake of it (not knowing the benefits or disadvantages).
 
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