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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
what causes an ENFJ to disappear for awhile? is it randomly for no reason at all? does it only happen if you feel the need to pull out of contact?
any insight on this would be great because the ENFJ crush of mine hasn't talked to me in over five days .
she always would initiate conversations so i'm getting a bit concerned .
do you think she's waiting for me to finally start a conversation ?
i really don't know...
 

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I sometimes don't talk to people first when I feel like I've been initiating too much. I figure if they're not initiating, then I've probably been irritating them.

She might also be busy, who knows. You could ask.
 

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I sometimes don't talk to people first when I feel like I've been initiating too much. I figure if they're not initiating, then I've probably been irritating them.

She might also be busy, who knows. You could ask.
Seconded. I always seem to be initiating conversations (since I'm an E..) so I get self-conscious if I notice I've been doing it too often without the other person initiating in a while. I like to know that my friends want to talk to me, too.

So you might just try initiating a little conversation with her.. just ask her what she's doing or something.
 

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Busy was my first thought. I disappear because I am always on the go. I am always about so when I am missing even a day people start going where did he go? If you miss talking with her call her if you have the number. We like that.
 

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I sometimes don't talk to people first when I feel like I've been initiating too much. I figure if they're not initiating, then I've probably been irritating them.

She might also be busy, who knows. You could ask.
Ditto. I dislike being a burden, and I sometimes.. feel like a pest.. so if someone really wanted to hang out with me, they would hit me up.. I do sometimes hit up friends to chill.. but it depends. and if I do make first contact ill usually do it only once.
 

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OMG, other ENFJs, stop being like me! Ahh!

I do this too. If I feel like I'm initiating all of the conversations, I just retreat... I think she might be expecting you to make the first move... probably trying to see if you care enough to ask how she's doing.

I either disappear because I don't like someone, don't know how I feel about them or am trying to see if they care.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
i texted her last night, she didn't reply. then she was on facebook for a couple minutes but didn't say anything to me.
i don't know why she'd ignore me but it seems thats whats happening.
 

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i texted her last night, she didn't reply. then she was on facebook for a couple minutes but didn't say anything to me.
i don't know why she'd ignore me but it seems thats whats happening.
Story of my life lololol! Don't get worked up over it, she's just busy. Sometimes I get on Facebook and I don't wanna talk to anyone, but the chat opens automatically... pisses me off.

As to the texting thing, I usually reply to all the texts quite fast. Don't read too much into it though, just stop contacting her and wait til she contacts you.

Also, it happens a lot to me that I just really don't feel like talking to people, or answering messages... even though I do like them, I'm just not in the mood to.

What is she like when you guys talk? Describe the kind of things she says, I'll be able to tell for sure if she's into you, likes you as a friend, or is trying to avoid you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
well i can tell she likes me. she'd always initiate conversations everyday with the exception of the past few days .
i think i'm just overreacting and over analyzing it, i'm sure its nothing .
its just strange because she used to talk to me whenever she had the chance .
 

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well i can tell she likes me. she'd always initiate conversations everyday with the exception of the past few days .
i think i'm just overreacting and over analyzing it, i'm sure its nothing .
its just strange because she used to talk to me whenever she had the chance .
It has happened to me too... *shrug* I don't understand why people do that.
In your situation though, her being an ENFJ, I think she might be testing you, to see if you'd initiate conversations. Keep on trying to talk to her, and if she really doesn't reply, ignore her. Completely. Actually, that's what I'd do, so that might not be the best solution.

Mmh... maybe you should tell her you like her. I love it when people are honest with me, because if I like them back I'll go back to my real self and stop playing hard to get, and if I don't I'll feel like I finally have freedom to be myself and have you as a friend.
All the people that have been interested in me and whom I didn't like back are now good friends to me. Even best friends! : ) It's always worth it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
this has gone beyond testing.
i think she's all together lost interest in me as a human being .
i texted her telling her that i missed talking to her daily and she hasn't responded .
nothing was said that would ruin anything yet things just stopped altogether and now she's not responding to me at all. she could at least tell me she has no interest in me whatsoever, i cannot take another day of torturing myself over the mystery of what has happened and why.
i viewed her not only as a soul mate but also an escape, she was my sense of belonging.
now... i wallow and wait, wait for the next host i can feed off of
 

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this has gone beyond testing.
i think she's all together lost interest in me as a human being .
i texted her telling her that i missed talking to her daily and she hasn't responded .
nothing was said that would ruin anything yet things just stopped altogether and now she's not responding to me at all. she could at least tell me she has no interest in me whatsoever, i cannot take another day of torturing myself over the mystery of what has happened and why.
i viewed her not only as a soul mate but also an escape, she was my sense of belonging.
now... i wallow and wait, wait for the next host i can feed off of
C'mon dude. Thats pathetic. No one wants a parasite. Grab your balls and get your shit together.
 
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this has gone beyond testing.
i think she's all together lost interest in me as a human being .
i texted her telling her that i missed talking to her daily and she hasn't responded.
nothing was said that would ruin anything yet things just stopped altogether and now she's not responding to me at all. she could at least tell me she has no interest in me whatsoever, i cannot take another day of torturing myself over the mystery of what has happened and why.
i viewed her not only as a soul mate but also an escape, she was my sense of belonging.
now... i wallow and wait, wait for the next host i can feed off of
Did you literally text her: "I miss talking to you daily"?

Because ENFJ's usually need alone time. If she became overloaded with either your relationship or the world generally, and is hiding, mentioning how you want to talk to her "daily" could be bad. Sometimes I shut myself off from friends for days at a time just to decompress. I can't have friends that pester me. I need them to understand. If I didn't have alone time to decompress I'd go insane.

I'd text her: "I adore you. I hope I haven't done anything to offend you. Are you okay?" If she doesn't reply to that she is either upset with you for whatever reason or is a b*tch.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Did you literally text her: "I miss talking to you daily"?

Because ENFJ's usually need alone time. If she became overloaded with either your relationship or the world generally, and is hiding, mentioning how you want to talk to her "daily" could be bad. Sometimes I shut myself off from friends for days at a time just to decompress. I can't have friends that pester me. I need them to understand. If I didn't have alone time to decompress I'd go insane.

I'd text her: "I adore you. I hope I haven't done anything to offend you. Are you okay?" If she doesn't reply to that she is either upset with you for whatever reason or is a b*tch.
well i'd never initiate conversations so i figured she always wanted to talk to me.
i understand needing space completely i really do, i figured she wasn't talking to me because she felt i didn't want to talk to her so i told her how i felt.
she's said that she fears that she annoys people and that i'd get tired of her, so i wanted to make it clear that i absolutely love talking to her.
i'll just have to wait to see what happens, i was a LITTLE over dramatic in my last post .... but in my defense i'm an INFP.
 
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