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Wondered if other INFJ's deal with patterns of dissatisfaction and indecisiveness? And also an inability to put things into action?

I feel like I'm in a constant battle with myself - wanting one thing, then another, then yet another. Unable to make a definite decision and unable to feel totally satisfied with my life. I feel like I'm never quite living up to my potential, no matter what I do. I can be working towards a dream, happy with the goals I've set for myself and then wham! I'm back to low moods and negativity. I seem unable to view my accomplishments positively for any length of time and can quickly forget how amazing I am and how wonderful my life is.

I feel like I'm searching for answers that just never come. I can't relax and just enjoy my life, go along with the flow. I seem unable to find emotional balance.

I am happy and I have a lot to be grateful for. But I worry that I'm never going to feel that I'm enough, just as I am, or that my life is enough, just as it is. I feel a pressure to 'make something' of myself and my life.

Is anyone else dealing with these same issues?
 

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Buddha once said “Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.”

One thing I learned with everything I have done is one must go with the Flow. In Martial Arts or Spirituality with anything in life. If we are constantly stopping and snagging ourselves we create our own obstacles and complications in life. Life has enough problems by its self we don't need to add any assistance in that area. To seek answers is a good thing to do but to allow ourselves to stumble just because we haven't found the right answers or haven't got the answers quick enough is spiritually and mentally a downfall. Answers many times find us if we go with the flow to arrive to the answers that we seek. To have trust and Faith in who we are is the most important part in who we are.
If somebody has the best Teacher there is and the student doesn't have Faith in himself then what can that Teacher truly teach that student. The student must first believe in himself to be able to accept what the Teacher is teaching. That also goes with the student must accept what the Teacher is teaching him and not allow his own ignorance of thinking he knows get in the way.

It seems that you are changing your goals, ideas, and wants in that way nobody can ever attain there goals and purpose in life.
Depressive moods comes along with life it is a part of life nobody will escape moments of felling sad or hurt. We are in control of how these moments affect us or not to allow such to control us.
Buddha's first and main concept is that Life involves suffering none is exempt from this. Not allowing suffering to control you life and keep you from who you are is something we have control over.

The desire for more or for more power is just another form of suffering.


"However many holy words you read, However many you speak,What good will they do you If you do not act on upon them?"
Buddha
 

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I often feel the same way too. That the world is spinning around me at high paces and I am trying to desperately, and rather awkwardly, catch up to it. This quote below has been taken from Typology Central website. It states that the issue lies in our introverted intuition function. Introverts it seems perceive the world around them as difficult to change, so they live around the world and take it rather seriously rather than try to bend the world to their vision and demands as extraverts are accustomed to doing.

"The ENFP is by nature adventurous because he perceives the external environment as an end in itself (as we have mentioned that extroversion is the attitude that perceives the external environment as foundationally existent—this not at all could be changed, thus because of the very weak perception of his inner climate, the ENFP pays little heed to his own security and unscrupulously dives forward into the external world. Introverted Intuition is quite the opposite in this respect. It does not take the external realm for granted. It takes the perception of itself, or an intuitive self-consciousness for granted and views the environment in terms of how it relates to the self.) Accordingly, the INFJ is remarkably unadventurous because he has difficulty interacting with the external world. And when he is forced to deal with novel environments, he inevitably imposes his vision of the previous environment that is still stored in his unconscious perceptions onto the new one. This is anathema to adaptability and therefore the INFJ struggles to properly adjust to change.

Extroverted Intuition, as mentioned in the ENTP profile, tends to take the external world lightly as it is not fundamental to the inner being of the individual representing such a function. In effect, often has a playful, if not banal, happy go lucky—pick the berries attitude. Yet the introverted intuition, does indeed take the environment for granted as that is fundamental to its inner being, and in effect takes the external world quite seriously. Thus, security, especially intellectual security is of foremost and personal concern for the INFJ. If the INFJ has not managed to move his vision outwards and become properly attuned with the external environment, likely will become very rigid and dogmatic. As then the preservation of his vision, for the sake of his own security, will become more important to the INFJ than an accurate understanding of the environment and relationships encircling him. This again is an inevitable result of the Introverted Intuition having equated the existence of their entire inner world with the existence of their inner vision. Thus in such a case, the INJ will find himself barricade in his fortress of for the sake of which he will go at whatever length necessary to preserve his current train of thought."


This kind of attitude to world outside of us probably makes us also very sensitive to making mistakes. I know every time I need to change my vision because previous one hasn't worked out as well I feel emotionally distraught over it and may reminisce even over very small mistakes for a while. To move on I must continuously consciously counsel myself that it is not a big deal and convert mountains back into molehills that they are and then give myself time to search and read to develop a new vision. None of these visions are entirely satisfactory only provide for temporary relief.
 

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I completely relate. In addition to the post above, a lot of ENxx's I've known seem to weave effortlessly in and out of different worlds, whereas for me I feel like I've been constantly struggling like you mentioned above. It took me a while, but after college, I designated some time to take off so I can take steps to move my vision forward and also so I can evaluate what will make me happy.
 

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Wondered if other INFJ's deal with patterns of dissatisfaction and indecisiveness? And also an inability to put things into action?

I feel like I'm in a constant battle with myself - wanting one thing, then another, then yet another. Unable to make a definite decision and unable to feel totally satisfied with my life. I feel like I'm never quite living up to my potential, no matter what I do. I can be working towards a dream, happy with the goals I've set for myself and then wham! I'm back to low moods and negativity. I seem unable to view my accomplishments positively for any length of time and can quickly forget how amazing I am and how wonderful my life is.

I feel like I'm searching for answers that just never come. I can't relax and just enjoy my life, go along with the flow. I seem unable to find emotional balance.

I am happy and I have a lot to be grateful for. But I worry that I'm never going to feel that I'm enough, just as I am, or that my life is enough, just as it is. I feel a pressure to 'make something' of myself and my life.

Is anyone else dealing with these same issues?
I worry about this ALL the time, nothing is ever good enough, i have one goal, then another and another, i know i can be great and awesome if i just push myself a lil harder.. sad thing is.. i cant seem to even push myself.

i wish i knew of a solution to this issue, but i dont, i dont know what to do further, i just know that i never feel good enough for anyone, i should do better, even though many of my friends tell me that ive accomplished so much, personally i think i could have accomplished much more.

hmmmm
 

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Wondered if other INFJ's deal with patterns of dissatisfaction and indecisiveness? And also an inability to put things into action?

I feel like I'm in a constant battle with myself - wanting one thing, then another, then yet another. Unable to make a definite decision and unable to feel totally satisfied with my life. I feel like I'm never quite living up to my potential, no matter what I do. I can be working towards a dream, happy with the goals I've set for myself and then wham! I'm back to low moods and negativity. I seem unable to view my accomplishments positively for any length of time and can quickly forget how amazing I am and how wonderful my life is.

I feel like I'm searching for answers that just never come. I can't relax and just enjoy my life, go along with the flow. I seem unable to find emotional balance.

I am happy and I have a lot to be grateful for. But I worry that I'm never going to feel that I'm enough, just as I am, or that my life is enough, just as it is. I feel a pressure to 'make something' of myself and my life.

Is anyone else dealing with these same issues?
I'm constantly in this state of mind. Most of the times I'm a happy individual but there are always a ton of things that I should be doing to improve myself, but I feel that nothing that I do is getting me there. I have many goals that I wish to pursue, but I'm always asking myself "can I do this?", and by the time that I finish with my doubts, I feel very unmotivated and stop doing what I need to do to get there.

What I've done to mitigate this effect is to live my life by the day. I make a goal(it can be a simple one) and each day I try to do everything within reason to get closer to completing that goal. This gives me more control over my life, because I'm no longer working towards something abstract or something that is so far into the future.
 

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Wondered if other INFJ's deal with patterns of dissatisfaction and indecisiveness? And also an inability to put things into action?

I feel like I'm in a constant battle with myself - wanting one thing, then another, then yet another. Unable to make a definite decision and unable to feel totally satisfied with my life. I feel like I'm never quite living up to my potential, no matter what I do. I can be working towards a dream, happy with the goals I've set for myself and then wham! I'm back to low moods and negativity. I seem unable to view my accomplishments positively for any length of time and can quickly forget how amazing I am and how wonderful my life is.

I feel like I'm searching for answers that just never come. I can't relax and just enjoy my life, go along with the flow. I seem unable to find emotional balance.

I am happy and I have a lot to be grateful for. But I worry that I'm never going to feel that I'm enough, just as I am, or that my life is enough, just as it is. I feel a pressure to 'make something' of myself and my life.

Is anyone else dealing with these same issues?
A lot of what you said reminds me of my INFJ mother. She is so completely awesome as a mother but she is always changing her mind, she can't seem to stick with her decisions. She doubts herself and gets down on herself when it's totally unnecessary. I can't imagine dealing with that. It sounds like you may be stressing a little.
Have you tried writing a journal at night before bed? This sometimes can help put things in order and clear out fog or doubt. I did it a few times because I was going through a bout of insomnia and marital issues. Someone told me, I wouldn't have done it on my own, it really helped with bringing those answers to the surface.
 
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I'm afraid I've expended most of my mental energy drawing and responding to a post that set me off. heh heh - a bit embarrassing that. Oh well.

When you feel this way it may be helpful to do two things.

Make a list of the characteristics about yourself that You value. Not that others expect you too. What you value.
List out the things you do or have done that conform to those values.
Forgive yourself of any mistakes you made. Don't ask - just do it - say I'm human and I made mistakes, so what.
Commit yourself to continue doing the things you value.

Your values are what counts.

This is what I tell my daughters.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks for your responses everyone! You've given me a lot to think about (I LOVE to think!) and it's nice to hear that others feel the same as I do. It helps to know I'm not alone in the things I'm dealing with.

And thanks for your many ideas on how to help heal my dissatisfaction. I appreciate that very much! :laughing: njchick - I do journal and find it does help a lot sometimes. other times it only keeps me locked into my overthinking.
runescribe - I know my values are what's most important to me, so being more aware of them in my life will help. Thanks!

Kalifornia310 - I know exactly what you mean about not being able to push yourself. I do this a lot - I have a goal and yet I will ponder everything and procrastinate so much that I end up scaring myself out of doing anything! And yet, other times I go after what I want immediately and just make it happen. why is that i wonder? Can't find a pattern as to why some things are easy, others are so hard.
 

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I'm constantly in this state of mind. Most of the times I'm a happy individual but there are always a ton of things that I should be doing to improve myself, but I feel that nothing that I do is getting me there. I have many goals that I wish to pursue, but I'm always asking myself "can I do this?", and by the time that I finish with my doubts, I feel very unmotivated and stop doing what I need to do to get there.

What I've done to mitigate this effect is to live my life by the day. I make a goal(it can be a simple one) and each day I try to do everything within reason to get closer to completing that goal. This gives me more control over my life, because I'm no longer working towards something abstract or something that is so far into the future.
Indecisiveness and disappointment with myself has been a hard battle my whole life, and I agree with you Seeker about having simple goals. I think of mini-goals to strive for, so I don't get overwhelmed...in hope of reaching the larger goal.
 
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