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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I tend not to let anyone too close to me.

My relationship w/ my parents was and is dysfunctional. I make friends but I seldom get that close to others,usually my friends always have other friends that they are closer w/ than me and I tend to fall out of touch w/ old friends. I have an ex who I'm sure i'll never be over. I haven't dated anyone for more than a few weeks since her. I really don't have anyone that close to me in my life and I guess I tend to push everyone away. I know a lot of it is psychological issues that i have as a result of the environment I had growing up...but perhaps there is somewhat a natural tendency for ENTPs to push others away.

Do you guys have difficulties getting close to others?
 

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I'm kinda disappointed with this thread ^^
Not just because we had the same question a 100 times, but because the "is this an ENTP thing?" in the suggestion threads are so awesome :p

I mean seriously look at this:
http://personalitycafe.com/entp-forum-visionaries/39719-entp-thing-me.html
This suggests that ENTPs while eating food recognise the reactions but not the taste.

http://personalitycafe.com/nts-temp...775-entp-thing-am-i-just-little-neurotic.html
and then this suggests that eating a cheeseburger, sexually makes her feel like a cow :p

You could have done better.
But for the sake of the thread, yes. That is a common ENTP problem. While some may not have it, the fact that we have about 2000 more threads on it alone makes it .. ironically.. an ENTP forum problem if not an ENTP problem alone.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I'm kinda disappointed with this thread ^^
Not just because we had the same question a 100 times, but because the "is this an ENTP thing?" in the suggestion threads are so awesome :p

I mean seriously look at this:
http://personalitycafe.com/entp-forum-visionaries/39719-entp-thing-me.html
This suggests that ENTPs while eating food recognise the reactions but not the taste.

http://personalitycafe.com/nts-temp...775-entp-thing-am-i-just-little-neurotic.html
and then this suggests that eating a cheeseburger, sexually makes her feel like a cow :p

You could have done better.
But for the sake of the thread, yes. That is a common ENTP problem. While some may not have it, the fact that we have about 2000 more threads on it alone makes it .. ironically.. an ENTP forum problem if not an ENTP problem alone.
i know it's pretty common for entps to have difficulties w/ relationships and social situations etc. since we interact different than others, but I was just wondering more specifically about pushing other people away. I do it to an unhealthy extent largely as a result of how my parents treated me. Thought I'd ask how much others think it's more or less nature vs nurture. I wasn't really actually asking for an answer, just figured it might make me feel better to hear what others had to say. Today I feel like my head is in a vice.
 

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Birdie Borracho
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i know it's pretty common for entps to have difficulties w/ relationships and social situations etc. since we interact different than others, but I was just wondering more specifically about pushing other people away. I do it to an unhealthy extent largely as a result of how my parents treated me. Thought I'd ask how much others think it's more or less nature vs nurture. I wasn't really actually asking for an answer, just figured it might make me feel better to hear what others had to say. Today I feel like my head is in a vice.
Yes desire machine, it is a common occurence among ENTPs, but also all people. Social disaffiliation affects all types of people but it will play out uniquely for an ENTP. That being said, if you recognize it's a problem, then make it not a problem. Some questions:

1. Are you comfortable with feeling separated from the rest of the world? Or do you crave more interaction?

2. Do you ever open up to people about your feelings? Do you know who the real you is? Are you comfortable with the real you? Does the real you suck at life or maybe just passes as average?

3. Do other people make you nervous or do you feel you wear a mask, but act natural?
 

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Birdie Borracho
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I'm kinda disappointed with this thread ^^
Not just because we had the same question a 100 times, but because the "is this an ENTP thing?" in the suggestion threads are so awesome :p

I mean seriously look at this:
http://personalitycafe.com/entp-forum-visionaries/39719-entp-thing-me.html
This suggests that ENTPs while eating food recognise the reactions but not the taste.

http://personalitycafe.com/nts-temp...775-entp-thing-am-i-just-little-neurotic.html
and then this suggests that eating a cheeseburger, sexually makes her feel like a cow :p

You could have done better.
But for the sake of the thread, yes. That is a common ENTP problem. While some may not have it, the fact that we have about 2000 more threads on it alone makes it .. ironically.. an ENTP forum problem if not an ENTP problem alone.
Churchill was an ESTP so I'm disappointed with your avatar. I've also seen this response about how something has already been done, so your response is stereotypically ENTP hipster, and you could have done better.
 

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Churchill was an ESTP so I'm disappointed with your avatar. I've also seen this response about how something has already been done, so your response is stereotypically ENTP hipster, and you could have done better.
We are playing a game on the mafia forum and I'm playing Churchill -.-
and I'm not really sure if he was an ESTP or not ^^
 

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Birdie Borracho
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We are playing a game on the mafia forum and I'm playing Churchill -.-
and I'm not really sure if he was an ESTP or not ^^
That might be a legitimate excuse, but I love ad hominem so thanks for taking it in stride.
 

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I tend not to let anyone too close to me.
Do you guys have difficulties getting close to others?
The ENTPs I know tend to have that issue, fundamentally for being afraid of all kinds of vulnerability related to being close to other people and/or for the impression of not belonging anywhere.
In my opinion, about the ENTPs I know, they focus so much on trying to be understood that they forget to try to understand their surroundings. The older ones I know just accepted that at some point.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Yes desire machine, it is a common occurence among ENTPs, but also all people. Social disaffiliation affects all types of people but it will play out uniquely for an ENTP. That being said, if you recognize it's a problem, then make it not a problem. Some questions:

1. Are you comfortable with feeling separated from the rest of the world? Or do you crave more interaction?

2. Do you ever open up to people about your feelings? Do you know who the real you is? Are you comfortable with the real you? Does the real you suck at life or maybe just passes as average?

3. Do other people make you nervous or do you feel you wear a mask, but act natural?
man i didn't know you were gonna make me fill out a questionnaire.

1 i'm comfortable w/ myself and when i'm alone etc, but obv I crave more interaction w/ people I can open up to more, hence I'm on this site and realize I have a bad tendency of pushing people away

...pushing people away is something i've done subtlety, unconsciously for a while and been aware of, I had a lot of self hate growing up that I've gotten through and developed beyond, but it still lingers/effects my personality as I'm sure it will always to some degree and I'll always have more of myself that I can better develop. I dated a girl a few yrs ago who was the only one I'v dated that I felt there was something I really connected with....it's a few yrs since and trying to figure out why i can't seem to allow myself to be with other girls is part of what lead me to learn about psychological types and psychology. The psychology of how my parents treated me growing up and self hate that I had resulting from that I think make it hard for me to let people close to me, esp people that are especially (F) touchy feely and I think that's part of the reason why I've been especially partial to INTJs (which is what my ex was) and struggled to allow myself to date INFPs, ESFP and others.

2 As far as opening about my feelings, I've been analyzing my psychology since I was a lil kid and i've had a friend or two that I can talk to but people I can open up to are rare. I may open up to a message board anonymously such as here, but that's about it. I hate complaining, I feel I can or should be able to take anything and just usually swallow whatever unpleasantness I feel.

as far as knowing the real you, I think I know myself better than anyone I've met knows themselves...obviously there's always more I can develop, and I've especially learned a lot about myself in the last few months, but I've also been undergoing what could be considered the individuation process and struggling with that since I was in elementary school. Since I was kinda screwed up psychologically as a kid I was aware even when I was lil of how people see others not as they actually are but some imagos that only exists in their head and are often delusion when it comes to reality. I mean now that I know more about archetypes I can see that I've seen others as archetypes as well, everyone does, but I don't think I (or other ENTPS) do as much as others. Most people only see others as archetypes, some delusional perception of others that they've created in their minds and they're completely oblivious to it, whereas I've been aware of how people are disconnected from reality since I was little.

3 As far as wearing a mask, I still put one on, smile, sometimes lie or just u know do my best to behave appropriately, but not more than just a min or two to get me through some situation like talking to relatives or to behave appropriately at work. It's not that unhealthy to that some. Sometimes it's appropriate to act like a boss or a parent or whatever. I think the unhealthy part is when you identify with a mask and lose ur true self. I've never had a prob with that. I never found a mask I was comfortable wearing. The fact that I hate wearing hats is one of those funny things that I find now makes sense psychologically.
 

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I've been TOLD I push others away. I swear to God, I'm not doing that, but it's what other perceive.

I have childhood rejection issues, too. Maybe that's part of it.
 
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Do you guys have difficulties getting close to others?
No. But I'm judgmental as fuck when it comes to the people in my inner circle -- not bad judgmental, just picky --- and like to put my energy where it's appreciated and responded to in kind, so I can take my time with developing those connections.

I was held and loved a lot as a baby and child. Probably that contributes.
 
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And I don't think it's an ENTP thing specifically. A lot of people have intimacy and trust issues, we're not special snowflakes in this respect.
 

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Enneagram also plays a part in this imo : I am 8w7, desintegrate to 5w1. That gave me the impression that I could somehow exhibit INTJ traits, but no. It is enneagram that can shed lights on your paradoxical behaviors.
 

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In my opinion, about the ENTPs I know, they focus so much on trying to be understood that they forget to try to understand their surroundings.
Very true. And that could be part of the problem; the less you understand your environment, the harder to identify yourself in it.
 
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