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What causes a guy to distrust women?
 
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Probably women who were close to them in their lives caused them to be so. They assume all women are like that.

Same thing happens to women who don't trust men.
 

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MOTM June 2015
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Some of the same things that could cause women to distrust men.

Off the top of my head here is what I came up with:


  • Having had women in their lives who they trusted and were close to who made promises they didn't keep.
  • Being cheated on(secretly seeing someone else while leading you to believe your relationship was exclusive).
  • Seemingly benevolent gestures done for you that you later found out had self serving motives. Causing you to be suspicious of even those things that seemed innocent enough.
  • Perhaps the women in your life couldn't be depended upon to be there for you during the bad times. Maybe they were only there when things were going well for you, but baled at the first sign of trouble.
 

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Women that destroy you emotionally. Relationships that start off good but become something else. The feeling of being cheated or betrayed and the regret of letting someone in and paying for it terribly.
 

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I am not sure I get why a man would distrust a woman anymore then I am sure why a woman would simply in itself not trust a man just either basing alone on the gender.

I think it makes more sense for people to in general not trust other people until the people of either gender prove they have merit to be considered trustworthy.

I don't understand the reasoning of bad exposure of that gender. Its somewhat cliché, like someone watched the movie Psycho too many times. I have had equally bad and good experiences with both genders I guess in that regard I am lucky that all wrongs of either neglect or abuse were not done by one gender to give me the view it was something inclined to one gender, just as I am glad I have had good done onto me by both genders.
 

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The man I know who distrusts women the most has never really been hurt by women to my knowledge. He just has extreme insecurities about his own value, and projects those insecurities on every girl he dates. He'll go crazy out of his way to make them happy - buying them things, cooking for them, taking them out, back rubs, even going along with ridiculous demands like no sex for a year or no contact for several weeks. But at the same time he's constantly paranoid that they're going to leave him, and constantly texting/calling them asking what they're doing. If they don't text back within a half hour he texts me hysterically worrying about it.
 

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MOTM June 2012
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I think it would come down to things that would cause mistrust in anyone; betrayal, insincerity, infidelity, ect. However, I think women tend to be better manipulators and liars than men on the whole, so that could cause the distrust to be exaggerated.
 

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Women specifically? Probably so, so many things. One of the important ones might be idealization during youth, maybe of the mother or other important female, learning that women are just people too in later years and feeling like they're not 'measuring up' or being what they're 'supposed' to be. Of course this also morphs during adolescence where it's not just 'this lady isn't kind and warm like my mom' and becomes more like 'this woman won't give me sex. She isn't like my mom whose kind and giving and warm and bakes me cakes and stuff.'

Hi Oedipus, how you doin'?
 

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Past negative experiences, heartbreak, generalizations, projection, trauma, narrow gender stereotyping.
There's plenty of possible motivations and which ones apply depends on the individual and his circumstances. But trust issues usually extend to people as a whole, not just women.

Mistrusting half of the population because of past hurtful experiences seems insane but it's perfectly understandable as emotional memory automatically sets up triggers and red flags, however I still think those are usually based on patterns, appearances, association and impressions rather than something as broad and misleading as a person's sex or gender. Being able to stop grouping people together on the account of factors that cannot be controlled and focusing on individual characteristics and someone's real personality and intentions is a better way to proceed.

But being a PTSD sufferer I know how insane alarm signs can get.
Still doesn't excuse extreme cases where people make ridiculous assumptions like "all women are cheaters" or "all women are after money". Especially so when done with full awareness and a strong unwillingness of accepting one's faults and responsibilities. I hate this behavior when it's done from women to men too, generalizations and dismissal of personal experiences both really annoy me.
 

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He'll go crazy out of his way to make them happy - buying them things, cooking for them, taking them out, back rubs, even going along with ridiculous demands like no sex for a year or no contact for several weeks.
OMG WTF Tell him women don't like a man who acts like a total pushover. Also, women don't like a man who refuses to have sex with them for a YEAR! Holy crap, how does he even get a second date acting like this?
 

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OMG WTF Tell him women don't like a man who acts like a total pushover. Also, women don't like a man who refuses to have sex with them for a YEAR! Holy crap, how does he even get a second date acting like this?
No no, he didn't refuse to have sex with them. He has a very high sex drive (we used to be friends with benefits) but he will go along with a woman if SHE says she won't have sex for a year. Like he literally will put up with anything, and most of his girlfriends are borderline abusive. I keep trying to tell him that women don't like a pushover and that he's being a victim here, but he will never learn. He just keeps thinking that if he gives every part of himself to someone who treats him like shit, they'll want to stay. :/

The worst part is, this guy is actually a good catch otherwise. He's extremely attractive, well educated, high class, makes decent money, from a very rich family. He could basically have any girl on earth if he had the slightest bit of confidence and self esteem.
 

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What causes a guy to distrust women?
for me my distrust stems from both multiple personal and shared experiences starting from about age of 3.

-watching lots of good, loyal men being used like puppets for money simply because they were born with a higher sex drive than their partners.
-witnessing infidelity and destructive behavior from the deceptive women who used their as objects to get what they wanted against the advice of everyone who cared for them then begging to be helped once stuck in the mud and complain that men are superficial and objectify women.
-watching women use their children like hostage tokens and emotional leverage to get what they wanted from their husbands, threatening to split the family up if he didn't man up and buy her that expensive purse.
-seeing women impregnate themselves to get a meal ticket from child-support because they were too lazy to get a real job, then offering the child up to someone else to raise while attempting to keep legal custody and receive child support.
-witnessing emotional abuses that multiple single mothers dish out to their boys, after an intense argument telling their 13 year olds that they "wish I had aborted you when I had the chance".
-visiting a teenage male friend who was placed at a psych ward after he attempted suicide and was hospitalized after arguing with his self-professed misandric mother.
- being told to "hush up" by multiple women who were cheating on their boyfriends at the threat of reproach and splitting up the family.
- personally coming across "dinner whores" in the dating world:


Woman Uses Dates for $1,200 per Month of Free Food

I was a 'dinner whore': Confessions of a fashionista who cruised Craigslist and OKCupid for dates just so she could get free meals | Daily Mail Online
 
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