Do all ENFJ's always get their way?

2023 Views 16 Replies 10 Participants Last post by Vahyavishdapaya, Apr 16, 2015

the401

Discussion Starter · Apr 5, 2015

Ok so my dad is an ENFJ and he ALWAYS gets his way with people.

I think it's his natural charisma that makes this happen.

Like for example: sometimes if I ask somebody for something they give me a straight up "no" and my dad goes and ask the same thing they immediately say "yes"

He always gets his way with ANYONE no matter how stubborn they are.

I think the trick is his natural charisma and he automatically. Makes people like him without any effort......

My cousins is also an ENFJ and he kind of also always make people love him without even trying.

Do all ENFJ's always get their way? Do you always make people easily love you?

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

Merry in Sunshine

· #2 · Apr 5, 2015

I don't know if I always got my way, I mean, I did have some struggles in life when I couldn't do what I wanted, but these past few years have been different.

While I can't say I have a perfect life, when I look back at some of the major life decisions I had faced these past few years (career, lifestyle, family issues, friends, going to college and so on) it seems like all of these decisions were for the better. There were times I was not satisfied with the outcomes of every decision, especially when I wasn't the one making them, but eventually I had gotten to an even better place than I originally had planned.

Somehow, when I look back now on these life changes, I know that I currently am not in the place I thought I would be a year ago, yet I live way better now. I live my life as I want to live it, and people seem to encourage me doing so, even subconsciously. I honestly have nothing to complain about, only maybe about me getting bored with this perfectly-boring life I happen to have now.

Does that mean I got my way? Possibly. I'm just glad my life goals are not bothering others, but actually help them get the life they want. I am very lucky to have supportive people around me, even if it took me quite a while to find these good people. I don't know if I'm that likable, but I do tend to get along with people, even when I don't really try. Honestly, I'm just plain lucky.

See less See more

guardian.bunny

· #3 · Apr 6, 2015

Not when my mom is an ISTJ

she thinks i can't make decisions for myself

Reactions: 2

Teal

· #4 · Apr 6, 2015

Do i get my way with everything? Nope not nearly

in my opinion at least for me ENFJ manipulation is basically being 10 steps ahead in the conversation i find most people easy to predict what they are going to say or how they are going to react on top of that im pretty charming, i should go in2 sales :3

Reactions: 1

Pressed Flowers

· #5 · Apr 7, 2015

Ha, ha... depends on if you're ST parents start seeing through you. It's gotten to the point where even when I just say something genuine like "I love you" they get suspicious because they think I'm going to manipulate them. And this happens in general, some people have been naturally suspicious of me because I'm so "sweet" and "charming".

But generally, yeah. If I go up to my teacher and explain that I didn't do well because this this this... They give in. I get a good grade. We find a solution. I am complacent like that. But honestly usually I have tried not to use that slight morbid "superpower" of mine, because it really don't like testing people's patience and I'm partially able to have that mystic quality because I am aware of people's patience limits.

In short, it kind of works but it wears off after a while when you know people who know your tricks. Then we're on normal ground with everyone else. Kinda sucks then

Reactions: 2

IAmOrangeToday

· #6 · Apr 7, 2015

It really depends on both the ENFJ and the company. Some ENFJs (such as myself) take a long while to discover their charisma or their ability to manipulate people. Even then, ENFJs are value driven creatures, and many are likely to feel very strongly about putting other people's interests ahead of their own and creating a harmonious group environment (which they of course feel they are uniquely suited to do/manage). The way people go along with ENFJs a lot kind of stems from the combination of these two factors - the ENFJs confidence in their vision of a happy group, and their deep warmth towards people that underpins that.

Of course, if they're unhealthy then all of this changes. Unhealthy ENFJs abuse their empathy skills to center social environments on themselves and use people to reinforce themselves emotionally.

Reactions: 3

WhyINTP

· #7 · Apr 9, 2015

the401 said:
Do all ENFJ's always get their way? Do you always make people easily love you?

They can if you're not careful enough to foresee their emotional traps.

Usually they cash out on people's positive qualities, including sympathy and empathy. When they express hurt or offer ambiguous choices (such as "the possibilities are endless", or "if and when we do this"), always always choose the option less favorable to them ("I don't see the possibility, sorry", and "we don't have to do this because it'll be unfair to you"). It drives them insane.

If you play in, they'll take what they want and walk away with lame excuses about some imaginary faults in you. I.e. "you deserve this because you're a selfish person" etc. Try a few times and you'll figure it out.

Merry in Sunshine

· #8 · Apr 9, 2015

WhyINTP said:
They can if you're not careful enough to foresee their emotional traps.

Usually they cash out on people's positive qualities, including sympathy and empathy. When they express hurt or offer ambiguous choices (such as "the possibilities are endless", or "if and when we do this"), always always choose the option less favorable to them ("I don't see the possibility, sorry", and "we don't have to do this because it'll be unfair to you"). It drives them insane.

If you play in, they'll take what they want and walk away with lame excuses about some imaginary faults in you. I.e. "you deserve this because you're a selfish person" etc. Try a few times and you'll figure it out.

You sound awfully judgmental towards ENFJs. Not all of us are like that. What you're saying makes us seem evil. when in reality, most of us just want to live a happy and calm life, for us, for the people around us and for those we do not know.

Reactions: 3

WhyINTP

· #9 · Apr 9, 2015

Merry in Sunshine said:
Not all of us are like that.

Yes I believe ENFJs are capable of bringing much happiness in this world if they realize their potential and utilize it properly.

Merry in Sunshine said:
What you're saying makes us seem evil. when in reality, most of us just want to live a happy and calm life, for us, for the people around us and for those we do not know.

Only interpretation makes anything good or evil. But thats alright, you're an ENFJ. Keep feeling!

Happy about Nothing.

· #10 · Apr 10, 2015

WhyINTP said:
Yes I believe ENFJs are capable of bringing much happiness in this world if they realize their potential and utilize it properly.

Only interpretation makes anything good or evil. But thats alright, you're an ENFJ. Keep feeling!

It's more that it seems like you think we are calculating, as you seem to be...figuring out the "words" that would most easily manipulate an ENFJ. That's just not something most of us do. Not consciously, anyway.

Reactions: 1

WhyINTP

· #11 · Apr 10, 2015

Happy about Nothing. said:
It's more that it seems like you think we are calculating, as you seem to be...figuring out the "words" that would most easily manipulate an ENFJ. That's just not something most of us do. Not consciously, anyway.

In fact the opposite. The calculating part doesn't come into play until there is a serious need for self defense against guilt. But anyway, you should not let my words impact how you feel. Its just an opinion.

Reactions: 1

Happy about Nothing.

· #12 · Apr 13, 2015

WhyINTP said:
In fact the opposite. The calculating part doesn't come into play until there is a serious need for self defense against guilt. But anyway, you should not let my words impact how you feel. Its just an opinion.

Well, just so long as you have your formula for everything ENFJ. ;]

Reactions: 1

Shapaha

· #13 · Apr 14, 2015

the401 said:
Ok so my dad is an ENFJ and he ALWAYS gets his way with people.

I think it's his natural charisma that makes this happen.

It's mostly charisma.
Most E's can do it, though I kind of think introverts now are more numerous for some reason.
I's can have charisma as well, most people fall somewhere in the middle.

I don't believe it's necessarily one type, there's been a time in my life where I didn't have charisma and never got anything my way.

WhyINTP

· #14 · Apr 14, 2015

Happy about Nothing. said:
Well, just so long as you have your formula for everything ENFJ. ;]

Its not a formula, more like a theory in progress. I'm sure you understand yourself better than anyone else around you, including your parents and lovers.

Happy about Nothing.

· #15 · Apr 14, 2015

WhyINTP said:
Its not a formula, more like a theory in progress. I'm sure you understand yourself better than anyone else around you, including your parents and lovers.

The formula is what proves the theory. :]

WhyINTP

· #16 · Apr 15, 2015

Happy about Nothing. said:
The formula is what proves the theory. :]

when the theory is fully developed yes. When building from fundamental, unchanging truths, its easier to go straight to the formula, but when its something empirical, such as the theory of evolution, the only way forward is to refine a theory.

Vahyavishdapaya

· #17 · Apr 16, 2015

My big sister is an ENFJ and she almost always got me to do what she wanted. I think it had to do with the Fe connection; even though often times I didn't want to do what she asked, I ended up doing it anyway so she wouldn't get mad at me. It also worked with pretty much all our mutual friends too.

But one area where her dominant Fe vs my aux Fe did not work to her favour was with our parents. She was afraid of pissing them off - in many ways, my relationship with her was a microcosm of her relationship with mum and dad. It manifested in a distinct lack of confidence on her behalf and consequently a lot of the time it was left to me to make her case to them.

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.