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Although it comes in handy, I feel a lot of times like it's out of my control. I'm a slightly different person in every social situation, and it makes it really hard for me to know who I am sometimes, it's very confusing. I don't do it to gain approval, but rather to create harmony. It's as if it's an inherent part of me. And I hate it. I struggle with anxiety, too, which affects my personality, so all that together makes me feel very unstable at times.

I think to a certain degree all personality types can relate to having to adjust themselves to fit in, but it's really extreme with ENFJ's.

At work, for example, I'm extremely reserved and quiet. They must think I'm very shy because I don't talk much unless I'm spoken to or talking to a customer. I'm actually like that with my family as well. I'm very introverted with family & at work.

In most other social situations though, I'm very outgoing. I'm usually bubbly when I'm with my friends, and if there's new people there, I tend to be the one to include others and make them feel welcome. I even act slightly different with different groups of friends. Some I'm more quiet others I'm the most outgoing.


And when it comes to me feeling anxious, I definitely shut down and go into myself. I don't want to be around people because I can't properly socialize since I'm too focused on feeling anxious.




So, do other ENFJ's feel this way about being a chameleon? Or is it more my anxiety that's controlling it so strongly?
 
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