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Discussion Starter #1
As long as I can remember, ENFPs females were always my greatest crush and my single biggest reason to be heartsick.

Being a male ENTJ, I am very decisive, commited, impatient and extreme extroverted. When I am in love, I want to spend every single minute with her.

Usually in the beginning it goes quite well, there is often mutual interest. The ENFP lady likes me too (reasons) and since you ENFP ladies seem to start romances pretty spontaneously, we have an affair (sometimes, not always). At least there is some physcial contact.

The phase of mutual interest does not last longer than a month, at most. I want more and go for it and she wants less (without telling me). I figure it's because I am perceived as a thread to their freedom and independence.

Is this correct? Do I turn down all the interest in an ENFP because I move too quick? What must I do to make you feel comfortable? Is there a way to make you understand my impatience is not a thread but a compliment?
 

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So once you "get" an ENFP girl, what will you do with her? Can you support her emotional needs? Can you talk well with her? Can you understand what she desires from a relationship? What is a relationship about to you? To her? Safety, stability, understanding, support, compassion, companion ability. Do you talk well together? Do you problem-solve together? Why do you like ENFPs?

I doubt that the problem would be in your ENTJ-ness. I would be flattered by respectful attention (meaning the girl tells you the attention is welcome) from any type and any type could be a good companion if there is a good understanding and appreciation between the two people. At the same time any type can be a total predator! Men can be dangerous if they don't listen to your wishes. You may need to develop some caring and communication skills. A relationship is not just about sex, it's so much more. It's about creating respect, safety, peace, love.
If you can't respect a woman's wishes when she says "back off" then you are a predator. You may be dangerous. I don't know you or the situation but make sure that you are listening and that you follow the lady's wishes. If she says no then do not continue trying to get that girl. Immediately stop. Get counseling if needed. Look into what it takes to create a caring relationship with someone else after you have worked hard on relationship skills.
 
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Thanks, I appreciate what you write! I feel like I wrote a bit too hard. I'm by no means a stalker. I can back off and respect someone's privacy.

But every type has a different way to say no. Some people just don't say it.

What I meant above is that ask the girl I like out. I try to be with her. Here the question is whether this kills the attraction? Is it better to be the active part with an ENFP or not?
 

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i would need more particulars to help you out more. In general it's accepted for the guy to ask the girl-- but this sounds like you are already past that step. Listen to the girl at this point.
 
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