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Do ENFPs prefer their romantic partner to be:

  • To be an Introvert (i.e: INFP, INFJ, ISFJ)

    Votes: 23 85.2%
  • To be an Extrovert (i.e: ENTP, ESFP, ENFJ)

    Votes: 4 14.8%

  • Total voters
    27
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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
In a relationship, whether dating or in marriage, do ENFPs generally prefer their partner to be Introverts or Extroverts? (For example: an I or an E on the MBTI scale).

ENFPs are said to be the most introverted of the extroverts, so I could see them getting exhausted when paired with an extrovert, while some ENFPs have stated they prefer to be the silent one in a relationship.

Your thoughts?

*looks at poll*

And don't forget to vote! :cool:
 

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In a relationship, do ENFPs generally prefer their partner to be Introverts or Extroverts? (For example: an I or an E on the MBTI scale).

ENFPs are said to be the most introverted of the extroverts, so I could see them getting exhausted when paired with an extrovert, while some ENFPs have stated they prefer to be the silent one in a relationship.

Your thoughts?
I'm attracted to everything- it just depends on the connection

i guess my best match would be with an ambivert

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Each ENFP has different preferences and limits, but I cannot see my ENFP husband with an extrovert (aside from the fact that he's married to me, obviously). I'm too extroverted for him sometimes; my Fe/Se can really wear his Fi/Si out.

In my experience, ENFPs like to "dig" into people. That's not to say that extroverts don't have any depths to dive into, but this tendency seems to result in ENFPs gravitating towards introverts. They like mysteries, puzzles; things that seem somewhat inaccessible or challenging to them. Whether they actually are an interesting enigma or not, introverts are simply better at projecting that vibe most of the time.
 

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@Zosia913 Very insightful answer. Thank you!

And I LOVE that signature about INFJ/INTJs being hit in the face with a ball. So true! Lol.
That signature is courtesy of @Kaboomz -- my one true forum love. :laughing:
 

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Each ENFP has different preferences and limits, but I cannot see my ENFP husband with an extrovert (aside from the fact that he's married to me, obviously). I'm too extroverted for him sometimes; my Fe/Se can really wear his Fi/Si out.

In my experience, ENFPs like to "dig" into people. That's not to say that extroverts don't have any depths to dive into, but this tendency seems to result in ENFPs gravitating towards introverts. They like mysteries, puzzles; things that seem somewhat inaccessible or challenging to them. Whether they actually are an interesting enigma or not, introverts are simply better at projecting that vibe most of the time.
I wouldn't say I like mysterious puzzles but I do like people that can have a depth to them. I need a bouncer, basically someone to bounce ideas off of. People who are hard to read or being very aloof actually are a turn off to me. My INTJ husband is an introvert but when an INTJ wants something they go for it. Of course they have to think about it for several months, may not be the most spontaneous folks but once the Ni concludes they go for it.
 

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I agree with @NIHM-- they all fascinate me, for different reasons. Introverts are wonderful for their introvert...ism... and extroverts are wonderful for their extrovert...y...ness. (English! Win!) I could be in relationships with whichever-- being an introvert or extrovert is by no means a prerequisite to catching and keeping my attention-- but the ones that work best and last longest have been introverts.
 

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Each side has its pros and cons. With extroverts I don't have to carry the conversation, but with introverts you (typically) reach a depth of conversation not really brought up with extroverts. But at the same time, extroverts can be overwhelming in their energy and introverts can be disappointing with their lack of wanting to hang out often. I agree with the others, I have a slight bias towards introversion but I prefer a 60-40, 40-60 split on this aspect.
 

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I just get a very very sure feeling in my gut that an extrovert relationship wouldn't last, at least so far. I don't think I've ever even seriously considered an extrovert before, although I have had low-key feelings for a couple of extroverted friends, and incidentally they were interested in me at certain points in our friendships, but because of my pre-bias they were never going to happen.

I dunno, I've thought about trying to change this perspective a lot of times, but it's just one of those "gut feeling" things where I'm not in control at all, and if I disobey the feeling, it will end up with someone being hurt, and that then feels irresponsible. A moral dilemma.
 

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Each side has its pros and cons. With extroverts I don't have to carry the conversation, but with introverts you (typically) reach a depth of conversation not really brought up with extroverts. But at the same time, extroverts can be overwhelming in their energy and introverts can be disappointing with their lack of wanting to hang out often. I agree with the others, I have a slight bias towards introversion but I prefer a 60-40, 40-60 split on this aspect.

@ai.tran.75 the ambivert and the 60/40 rule would be nice.
Yeah, I wonder what life would be like with a extrovert... I'm not sure it would suite my sx/so. But then again, what if they were something like me and lead with sx.... would that work great? Hmm... unsure.

My hubby is about as introverted as you can get, but I find his opening up to me and kind of just wanting/needing me to be exactly what I want most of the time. Sometimes I need to go out more. Sometimes I need more friends. He knows it, so he consented to an adventure with my friend and her husband tomorrow AND he has actually loved the BBQs I've been putting on now that he feels comfortable with the cozy group we've got.

Anyway, I mean.... you need SOME willingness there to get out of the house and do new things and meet new people-- but I'm kind of glad it's on my terms. If he was leading it, boy would I ever have a different life and I'm not sure that it would be what I want...
 

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Looks like I'm the only extravert lover.
Yes that vote was from me.
Oh we have to choose between the 2? I guess I prefer an extroverted partner, I find them less time consuming and set less expectations on me, my partner lean more towards extroversion despite being mbti istp / he is estp socionic.

I like both but yeah- if they're not an Fe dom than extravert

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I guess what I find most appealing, is someone who has a secret thirst for adventure and bounces my ideas back, and helps me/forces me to bring them to fluition.

This could be an introvert or an extrovert. One things for sure though. I appreciate having an N in the upper stack, and well utilized/healthy T within the stack *shrug*. I kinda just love people in general sooo... If she brings a thirst of adventure, and an abilility to nudge me to make things happen, she catches my eye!

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Each side has its pros and cons. With extroverts I don't have to carry the conversation, but with introverts you (typically) reach a depth of conversation not really brought up with extroverts. But at the same time, extroverts can be overwhelming in their energy and introverts can be disappointing with their lack of wanting to hang out often. I agree with the others, I have a slight bias towards introversion but I prefer a 60-40, 40-60 split on this aspect.
You know that's kind of interesting, thinking about your post. I find introverts don't really want to hang out much and are nice to be around. Once I started dating my husband, it's like he is always around. I love it but it's so weird how his interactions are with me to how he treats the rest of the world. It's like he doesn't really need his space and just enjoys being around me. OR maybe I just know when to give him space. I haven't figured that one out yet. Either way, people ask me if he ever talks. In private he never shuts up hehe. I quite enjoy being his only ear he talks to. I think it's because they keep their opinions to themselves most of the times and everything can annoy them. I think he's learned I don't get annoyed easily and just a weird girl he really likes hanging out with and can be himself with, no judgment attached. So in my company, he opens up that Ni to me more often than when we're in public. In public, you might get a full sentence in there somewhere or a nod.

 

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Too far into either extremes tend to feel like a lot of work. Ideally, an ambivert like myself, but whoever i prefer have to value introspection (which is independent of intro or extroversion) because that's what I constantly want to improve on in myself.
Not really commenting on what you said, but I love your avatar.
 

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I just get a very very sure feeling in my gut that an extrovert relationship wouldn't last, at least so far. I don't think I've ever even seriously considered an extrovert before, although I have had low-key feelings for a couple of extroverted friends, and incidentally they were interested in me at certain points in our friendships, but because of my pre-bias they were never going to happen.

I dunno, I've thought about trying to change this perspective a lot of times, but it's just one of those "gut feeling" things where I'm not in control at all, and if I disobey the feeling, it will end up with someone being hurt, and that then feels irresponsible. A moral dilemma.
Yeah, believe me, I've had some crushes on some extroverts but the bolded part was exactly why it never went anywhere.

That and age, Age can stop me in my tracks. Like before I met my husband when I was still single, around 34, a 22-year-old tried to pick me up. Just the thought that his frontal lobe won't stop growing until he's twenty-five and the fact he just finished his bachelor's degree and was barely old enough to drink (USA). I was like um... no. Of course, he thought I was only around 24. Then I found out his mom who was like 42 was one of my designer friends. I was like no, no, nope, nada, do not pass go, not touching you with a ten-foot pole. That's like a fun thing you would bring up in therapy.

Of course, my husband was twenty-nine when we started to get serious. I still did date someone younger than me. It's strange because normally I would only date older men. Anyways I think my age range is about 9 years younger, somewhere in between, or 9 years older.
 
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