Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 28 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
72 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
So I told my ESFJ roomie about her type a while back, and evidently it terrified her. She completely resents the thought that anyone could be like her or that she could be the slightest bit predictable (beyond all the things she defines for herself). I was wondering if this was a common ESFJ thing or just her? I have a theory that if she thinks everyone defines themselves and controls who they are, she doesn't feel as bad about being irritated at them for being entirely different from her. Thoughts?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,131 Posts
if she thinks everyone defines themselves and controls who they are, she doesn't feel as bad about being irritated at them for being entirely different from her.
I honestly doubt that's the case. To tell you the truth, I felt that way too. Sincerely. I hated (I still hate) that something could describe my personality. I still do not think anything can. I am firm in that. That is what I thought when I was first introduced to personality theory. What I didn't realize then initially is that personality theory doesn't explain behavior and it does not explain you as an individual and all your motivations. No. But it does point out that certain people do tend to fall into patterns in how we perceive the world and in how we think or feel - our judgment. Some of us judge based on how we feel and some how we think.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
87 Posts
I think this whole thing is fascinating...in my experience. What I don't like is how people use it for evil and not for good. By good, I mean using the knowledge of other personalities to understand people and how to relate to them better. By evil (for lack of a better term), some people tend to put others in a box because a theory has been presented. That's all fine and dandy but keep it to yourselves and make room for other possibilities. I default to ESFJ but that doesn't mean my mind is void of "the big picture" or "thinking" or "flexibility." That's the farthest from the truth to me as an individual and pretty dang rude when others stick me in a box. We have to remember that this is all theoretical - not quite universal truth, however helpful. But alas, it is the human condition that desires control and tangible ideas (oxymoron) so we can have our own personal taxonomic system of the world. That's how we like to roll. But remember: "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." (hahaha...$1M theoretical dollars for the first person to get that reference...GO!)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
764 Posts
No but if I tell an ESFj they have the same type as someone they don't like they're like "Nooo way in hell. I am not." Or they're happy because they're friends with the other person. My mom thinks its useful when I try to apply it to bar situations or meeting her ideal man. If you can use positive examples of what the functions are being used they're fine with it. By all means ESFjs do not all think a like. All my best and closest friends in middle school were ESFj and they were all extremely different from one another.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
366 Posts
I think it's strange how other types seem very similar to one another (i.e. me and the two other xNTP's I know are distinctly alike) and I know several ESFJ's who are nothing like one another.

Anyways, it depends on the ESFJ. My ESFJ friend likes it when I babble on about Jung, whereas others despise the idea of being categorized at all. Ha, I remember this one girl liked the idea of it all until she discovered it was the most prevalent female personality type! Then she thought it was silly and inaccurate.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
27 Posts
My ESFJ pretty much told me he hated/didn't believe it for anything. haha
 

·
MOTM Jan 2010
Joined
·
2,988 Posts
I think we can add this to the long list of things that can't be generalized about types. Personally I find MBTI to be interesting and somewhat useful, though mostly just for my own amusement and not worth making big decisions over.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,585 Posts
You can if you think you understand it. ^_^

I know that I know absolutely nothing.
---


Dear ENFP, this is why this^ quote came into existence. Truly wise people know nothing, because everything is based on perception.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,131 Posts
I know that I know absolutely nothing.
---


Dear ENFP, this is why this^ quote came into existence. Truly wise people know nothing, because everything is based on perception.
Dear INTJ, that's a lovely quote and I agree with you. :) If you do not understand something but think you do and decide to hate or even love it, you are being foolish.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
413 Posts
So I told my ESFJ roomie about her type a while back, and evidently it terrified her. She completely resents the thought that anyone could be like her or that she could be the slightest bit predictable (beyond all the things she defines for herself). I was wondering if this was a common ESFJ thing or just her? I have a theory that if she thinks everyone defines themselves and controls who they are, she doesn't feel as bad about being irritated at them for being entirely different from her. Thoughts?

I think it roots from the desire to be in control, common in SJs generally. Personally, I like discretion and I hate to be predictable. Unfortunately, ESFJs can make the mistake of being too predictable very often.
Not many people like to be told who they are, so that seems completely natural. I guess it comes down to the person in the end. When I was in high school, I would have reacted the same way, and even now my first instinct is to be annoyed if someone tries to 'read' me, but it's much easier to understand what is true and what isn't about myself now that I understand much more.

(The MBTI is probably the most useful and wonderful thing I've come across in ages and I would like to marry it)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,171 Posts
Personally I love MBTI theory. I agree with what @rickybobby said though. Some people use it for evil and some for good. For me, when I found out about it - I thought it was fascinating and quite validating to know that there was a reason why I am the way I am and why I have certain preferences. I often have used it as a tool to help others understand me, as I have felt quite misunderstood in life (which really hurts and frustrates me to no end for some reason).

It's interesting to me, though, because I have tried to introduce MBTI to many different types of people and most of them reject it or aren't interested in all. Maybe it has to do with my delivery? Not sure. I just can't understand why most people don't find it as fascinating and validating as I do! Lol ;-)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
924 Posts
Dear INTJ, that's a lovely quote and I agree with you. :) If you do not understand something but think you do and decide to hate or even love it, you are being foolish.
I thought Sly was an INTP? :shocked:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,131 Posts
I thought Sly was an INTP? :shocked:
Oh. Really? When I scrolled up I thought I saw the thingy say "INTJ", but now that I look it says unknown. Weird. ^_^ Haha. Oh well. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
244 Posts
Nah, I don't. Once my INTP buddy suggested I take the Personality Test I became obsessed with it. And I just had my bestfriend take it last night and she's ISFJ but she's not the least bit interested in learning more about WHY she is. I love all of this and if anything it has helped me understand myself better.
 
1 - 20 of 28 Posts
Top