Do ESTJs hold grudges?
[ESTJ]
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it depends.
if I feel like that person is trying to go above me, I'd want to race up to that person and get even in that way so it wont hurt my pride. I don't want anyone to insult me in any way or they will get it. I'm not up for any deep revenge, it's not worth it in my opinion but like I said, if it hurts the people that I love or my pride, I will get even and this depends. I need a given situation so I could respond to it if you want the specifics.
Revenge isn't worth it. I let it be most of the times. I cut off the relationship or any interaction and I leave with that person in mind thinking that I'm better than a revenge, which again, isn't worth it
if I feel like that person is trying to go above me, I'd want to race up to that person and get even in that way so it wont hurt my pride. I don't want anyone to insult me in any way or they will get it. I'm not up for any deep revenge, it's not worth it in my opinion but like I said, if it hurts the people that I love or my pride, I will get even and this depends. I need a given situation so I could respond to it if you want the specifics.
Revenge isn't worth it. I let it be most of the times. I cut off the relationship or any interaction and I leave with that person in mind thinking that I'm better than a revenge, which again, isn't worth it
So, basically, you would handle it immediately or forget about it?
For a given situation: Let's say a guy has been flirting with you and leading you on for a couple months, and then you find out he wasn't really ever interested in you, and finally rejects you. What would you do?
For a given situation: Let's say a guy has been flirting with you and leading you on for a couple months, and then you find out he wasn't really ever interested in you, and finally rejects you. What would you do?
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forget about it but of course before leaving, I'd leave an impression that I'm better than them if they think that they're better than me.
and to answer your question, just because he's flirting with me and is leading me on, it doesn't necessarily mean that he actually likes me. I would actually need evidence to see whether or not he does like me, and this could take more than months for me to see this. I'd need some actual evidence and not just a saying that would go on for months. I don't fall for that. Actions and what they do speak 10x louder than words.
but if that given situation ever happened to me and I didn't think at all about it and assumed that he liked me and the reason was because he was leading me on and later on find out that he wasn't interested in me and rejected me eventually, I would let it go.
and to answer your question, just because he's flirting with me and is leading me on, it doesn't necessarily mean that he actually likes me. I would actually need evidence to see whether or not he does like me, and this could take more than months for me to see this. I'd need some actual evidence and not just a saying that would go on for months. I don't fall for that. Actions and what they do speak 10x louder than words.
but if that given situation ever happened to me and I didn't think at all about it and assumed that he liked me and the reason was because he was leading me on and later on find out that he wasn't interested in me and rejected me eventually, I would let it go.
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an answer to your question could take me more than a page to answer! but I'll narrow it down and give you some point outs!
I would need to seek for an answer to my questions such as whether he likes me temporarily or not. If so, it's not worth getting into unless I'm up for a short term relationship as well but say in this case, I was looking for a long term relationship. I would be very cautious of that person and would need to gather a lot of evidence to support why he likes me.
let's say if I wanted a long term relationship, being friends first would actually help me a lot in determining that! I'd need to see this happening and actually witness what he does for me and come to a conclusion whether or not he truly does like me or is it all based on words that mean nothing? In other words, he might not like me which results in getting rejected after wards, which would waste my time if he's that uncertain! I wish to avoid these types of people who are uncertain of themselves and what they want, it's such a waste of time!
Anyway bottom line is, I want to actually see that he likes me and that he's by my side as always and he's doing what he can to make it work out and this doesn't simply fade away in a matter of months!
Hope I helped answer your questions!
I would need to seek for an answer to my questions such as whether he likes me temporarily or not. If so, it's not worth getting into unless I'm up for a short term relationship as well but say in this case, I was looking for a long term relationship. I would be very cautious of that person and would need to gather a lot of evidence to support why he likes me.
let's say if I wanted a long term relationship, being friends first would actually help me a lot in determining that! I'd need to see this happening and actually witness what he does for me and come to a conclusion whether or not he truly does like me or is it all based on words that mean nothing? In other words, he might not like me which results in getting rejected after wards, which would waste my time if he's that uncertain! I wish to avoid these types of people who are uncertain of themselves and what they want, it's such a waste of time!
Anyway bottom line is, I want to actually see that he likes me and that he's by my side as always and he's doing what he can to make it work out and this doesn't simply fade away in a matter of months!
Hope I helped answer your questions!
No, it's not worth it. I let it go - taking revenge doesn't take back what's happened.
I agree with haag.
Seems the thread took on a different take, but I kind of like it :happy: I resonate with haag's comments, it's what a man does for you that counts - actions speak louder than words, as well as sincerity and genuinity.
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I usually take action in an instant. Like if someone punch me in the face, I will punch him back right away. I don't hold my revenge because I usually make them pay back at that moment.
If things already happened in the past, then I will just let it go, although I can imagine make some plans to get back at someone, but as far as I remember, I haven't done that before.
In my experience ESTJs hold revenge for ever. Over their pride usually. ESFJ variant Camelheads also hold grudges over silly little things. ESFJ Crazy Horse will hold grudges as well. The trouble with ESFJ they will hold grudges over imaginary slights.
ENTPs will suffer the most. Dog Soldiers ISTJ will side with the persecutors.
ENTPs will suffer the most. Dog Soldiers ISTJ will side with the persecutors.
Ok this generalising ESTJ's is just getting a bit doo-lally...what is forever, are you actually timing it?
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LOL, don't mind too much about Perseus, Lantern. Only God knows exactly what he's saying. :crazy:
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He's one of my favorite weirdos, actually. LOL
I love him more than he know.roud:
I love him more than he know.
roud:
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I imagine if it's not acceptable to hold a grudge, there will be an internal approval down just like anyone else. I figure you'd have to really outshine or screw over an ESTJ to earn their ire. Which is different than just being disliked.
What is IRE?
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ire, anger.
I move on. We live in the PRESENT not the PAST. So why waste time holding onto something, there's nothing you can do about it now.
However, it may look like we hold a grudge and i will give you an example:
My sister constantly used to borrow my stuff. A lot of the time without asking. So when she would ask to borrow something again and would throw a fit when I said no, then I would simply state a list: "Remember that time you broke my china doll, my ornament from my teacher, stained my sweater, left my strobe light at your friends house, left my favorite sweatshirt on the airplane...." Honestly, I am not mad about any of the details, what I am upset about is this simple idea of "you borrowed my stuff and ruined or lost it". I am simply giving evidence to prove a point. We love details and can remember a lot of things, so if it helps our case in an argument, why not use it? It doesnt mean however that I'm still pining for my china doll from 5th grade. lol
However, it may look like we hold a grudge and i will give you an example:
My sister constantly used to borrow my stuff. A lot of the time without asking. So when she would ask to borrow something again and would throw a fit when I said no, then I would simply state a list: "Remember that time you broke my china doll, my ornament from my teacher, stained my sweater, left my strobe light at your friends house, left my favorite sweatshirt on the airplane...." Honestly, I am not mad about any of the details, what I am upset about is this simple idea of "you borrowed my stuff and ruined or lost it". I am simply giving evidence to prove a point. We love details and can remember a lot of things, so if it helps our case in an argument, why not use it? It doesnt mean however that I'm still pining for my china doll from 5th grade. lol
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