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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey there, just curious. Do ESTPs outwardly give unsolicited advice or feedback about their spouse/S.O.'s looks over time?

We all get old and am just curious if they are at all outward about the unfortunate changes like slight weight gain or saggy body parts they see in their spouse over time or are they more interested in practical systems that produce the results they are looking for in other ways than their partner?

Like are they basically just cool with whatever as long as their partner encourages freedom and a good time?
 

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Uh maybe an ESTP with enny 3 would care most

I would say basic rule of thumb is I do not think ESTP with age and maturity are completely vain or unrealistic. Of course we want someone who does not let themselves go. i.e. Someone who decides they are married and has kids so they should just excuse becoming frumpy. Huge difference between allowing yourself to become frumpy vs natural aging or natural slight weight gain.

BTW if you are going to stereotype its really, ESxJs who fit the stereotype pertaining to superficial vanity.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yeah, thanks so much for just saying that. It is so nice to hear that is how a mature ESTP would feel.

Sorry again about coming off as stereotyping. Definitely not trying to do that at all. I just have little experience with ESTPs and (I said this is in reply to your comment on my other thread) but I just am starting to open up to new types of people that I've always felt too intimidated to open up to, so learning about ESTPs from you is helping me in the future, so thank you!
 

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Yeah, thanks so much for just saying that. It is so nice to hear that is how a mature ESTP would feel.

Sorry again about coming off as stereotyping. Definitely not trying to do that at all. I just have little experience with ESTPs and (I said this is in reply to your comment on my other thread) but I just am starting to open up to new types of people that I've always felt too intimidated to open up to, so learning about ESTPs from you is helping me in the future, so thank you!
You are fine I am not offended really. I wanted to try and just assist in another perspective. More so to help. Even if it comes off harsh.
 

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Hey there, just curious. Do ESTPs outwardly give unsolicited advice or feedback about their spouse/S.O.'s looks over time?
I think every guy would like to have a wife who is physically attractive. There is this video after all:

Thing I would add to this is that this deals with just a potential wife or husband. With a wife or husband, I think you need to add a productivity axis. Is your spouse amazingly productive, a 1 + 1 = 3 person or are they sitting around doing nothing or worse than that is she/he dragging you down?

So I don't think this is just a question for ESTPs. My friends, and this included me, dated and married attractive women, and only one has had a wife that stayed productive throughout the marriage. One friend of mine, who is on wife #4, told me that he had a friend who would run home to his wife. His friend died, and he married this woman, wife #4, and he has been happy with her. She is not super hot, someone I wouldn't normally look to date based on looks. She is cute, but the kind of person she is makes her very attractive to me. I would date/marry this woman because I know what I would be getting. She is going to pull her own weight and more in a marriage. In the mean time, I have friends who married attractive women, which would include me, and with one exception, I wouldn't touch their wives. I know what bitches those women are. My brother calls them dementors of Harry Potter fame who suck your soul up.

I doubt an INFP losing her looks would be what would cause me or other ESTPs to want to break it off with them. It is far more likely that they become unproductive and dump chores on me or instead of being a little crazy a few days a month, they stay in crazy land. I don't think it would be looks. Every guy knows going in that his spouse likely is going to be less attractive over time. If the men love them and their wives aren't beating them up or driving them nuts, most guys including ESTPs will stick with their women.

FWIW, I am divorced now and going to get remarried and my fiance was trying to make up some marriage rules of thumb or concerns, and I stopped her. Life will throw you and your marriage shit that you never thought of, things you can't possibly even dream of now, and there is no use getting overly anxious about anticipating what could happen. The best advice I ever heard was that people don't change when they are married at least not that much. The only thing you should be sure of when you get married is the person you are marrying is of sound character. The one thing I can assure you of is that whatever you expect or anticipate in your marriage won't be what you will get. How much do you trust your man right now? Chances are that is how much you will trust him and hopefully more in my future.

All the red flags I saw with my ex were there the day that I married her. I just thought that they would get better over time, and they didn't, they got worse. In other words, your concerns should be with how your partner is right now and not in the future.
 

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:laughing:

The first time I saw the crazy hot matrix, was no bullshit, the guy I was seeing showed it to me and very literally used it to reference. He actually turned to me. He said in his view I was an 7/8, but he could not place me on if I was the crazy stripper, the acceptable to date, or the wife.

Then he paused looking at me waiting for me to answer for myself.

:laughing:

He genuinely truly asked me if I can get to 'wife' zone.

Me: "Dude I have already been wifed, keep me the fuck outta that zone. EW!"( I do not care if I sound four years old, right now).

I have always been amused the dude assessing the hot crazy matrix, for men is a 5 :laughin:


Funnily the guy who showed me the hot crazy matrix, fit the danger zone.
Just saw him tailing me last week.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
The best advice I ever heard was that people don't change when they are married at least not that much. The only thing you should be sure of when you get married is the person you are marrying is of sound character. The one thing I can assure you of is that whatever you expect or anticipate in your marriage won't be what you will get. How much do you trust your man right now? Chances are that is how much you will trust him and hopefully more in my future.

All the red flags I saw with my ex were there the day that I married her. I just thought that they would get better over time, and they didn't, they got worse. In other words, your concerns should be with how your partner is right now and not in the future.
Dude, this was so good along with the other things you said about it being more about them being the type to be an up and going positive person that would be able to keep giving them positive experiences rather than staying perfectly hot all their lives.

But what you said in the quote was fire and definitely what I needed to hear, too. New guys in my life always stress me out so I am trying to get this ESTP dude I started sort of dating. His way of doing things is so strong in action really soon and I know that it isn't authentic from the basis of a feeling because, well, you know how ESTPs work. But I usually perceive strong actions to mean a lot of feelings. It's been a bit of a mind trip.

Anyways, great words of wisdom there in the quotes above. Definitely simplifies things and gives him the chance to prove himself later on in the ways I'm concerned about but haven't yet experienced. Stay true to how the moment with that person serves you because it'll be true of life later on.
 

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:laughing:

The first time I saw the crazy hot matrix, was no bullshit, the guy I was seeing showed it to me and very literally used it to reference. He actually turned to me. He said in his view I was an 7/8, but he could not place me on if I was the crazy stripper, the acceptable to date, or the wife.

Then he paused looking at me waiting for me to answer for myself.

:laughing:

He genuinely truly asked me if I can get to 'wife' zone.
OMG, if I were a woman, and a guy did that with me, I would dump his ass right then and there.

I don't like either of the videos on what is important to women. So if a guy is rich, good looking, but an asshole, women will like him? I haven't seen that. What does emotionally unavailable mean? I never heard a woman complain about that. There should be an asshole axis.

Me: "Dude I have already been wifed, keep me the fuck outta that zone. EW!"( I do not care if I sound four years old, right now).
Eh, last thing I ever though after getting divorced was that I wanted to be in the husband/spouse zone, but if you meet the right person, I think everyone can change.
 

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I agree with the things Sensational said in her first comment.

In addition I can say (although I cannot guarantee it applies to every ESTP) that just letting yourself go is not ok. I know some people tend to possess the mentality where marriage is a contact that assigns the slave to you lifelong, so you can do whatever you want, and he/she is supposed to stay. That goes about everything, not just getting fat or anything alike. This is not welcome.
Athough, as Sensational said, "there is huge difference between letting yourself go vs natural aging or natural slight weight gain.".
 
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