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My boyfriend is an ESTP. I see that he is often reserved but shows hes outgoing and confident with people. Definitely a charmer, when he sees something he wants, he gets it. It seems like things are often about him. Im afraid this could be selfish love, you know, the type of love someone has for a wife but he still cheats on her. Exactly, selfish. I want selfless love. He seems to really like me, but he may be just infatuated. Either way, im asking, is it common for an ESTP to lie to get they want, even if it is manipulating hearts, etc..

Hope this question makes some sense
 

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first of all how long have you been dating? If you've been dating 2 weeks and you're looking for selfless love you're going to have to be patient.
 

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Selfless love takes time to develop for a person, and depending on the individual ESTP they may or may not be interested in selfless love and may be interested in other things instead. I know I persuade others to get me what I want, but I make sure that I can give them what they want (depending what it is), because I see it as only fair. It also continues my effectiveness of persuasion in the future, letting them know that they may get something they want in return.

If you really want to know, get to know each other a little bit more, and if you've done that, just ask. He may not even be aware that you're being negatively affected by his behavior.
 

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No, not all ESTP's lie. I understand your situation might seem awkward at the moment but only time will tell you the truth (provided you actually ask him). Sitting around writhing in your own "what if's" will only make you go crazy. You didn't give us much information to work with, and stereotypes aren't going to help your problem, unless you want me to tell you a white lie and say "ESTP's are committed to every woman they date, as is the rest of humanity."
 

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Well I mean all ESTPs aren't the same. Sure, an ESTP could employ Se/Fe to manipulate to get what he wants. I have felt sometimes like my xSTP (let's just call him STP for now) is too reserved to be ESTP but too Fe at times to be ISTP. His own mother says he's manipulative, and sometimes I feel like he's being pretty selfish, but then he recants later and shows that he's not selfish, you know? Like he acts selfish but then will turn around be a good boy to make up for it a day or a week or two weeks later (whatever), or do exactly what was requested of him, even though he wouldn't just the day before.

If you guys haven't been dating long, it probably is still infatuation and you should act accordingly. If you follow the Artisan/SP temperament (for ANY SP) they're going to be mildly suspicious of you and act in their own best interest in the beginning because, as Keirsey says, realize all humans have "feet of clay." I think STPs are more inclined in this direction than SFPs, to a more serious level, while occasionally an SFP will just naively take you in because they Fi immediately like you, but then will drop you just as quickly IF YOU CROSS THEM.

Going by functional order, refer again to the possibility of Se/Fe manipulating others to achieve self-interest. ESTPs are supposed to be excellent sales people. We've had quite a few ESTP presidents here in the U.S. Famous ones too, like JFK.

Anyway, yeah, all ESTPs aren't the same, and what you perceive as "selfish" could just him being guarded and cynical, or actually just being clueless about other people's feelings, as young xxTPs often are. Being clueless about other people's feelings doesn't necessarily equal malicious intent or "bad person."

Give it time, but if you have this sense of him being selfish, remember to self-preserve and don't just give him everything, yet, until he behaves in a more concretely loyal manner.
 

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My boyfriend is an ESTP. I see that he is often reserved but shows hes outgoing and confident with people. Definitely a charmer, when he sees something he wants, he gets it. It seems like things are often about him. Im afraid this could be selfish love, you know, the type of love someone has for a wife but he still cheats on her. Exactly, selfish. I want selfless love. He seems to really like me, but he may be just infatuated. Either way, im asking, is it common for an ESTP to lie to get they want, even if it is manipulating hearts, etc..

Hope this question makes some sense
I do believe anyone could have these issues. It's not exactly type specific. I'm sure you meant well by this post, but MBTI doesn't really manifest in giving people specific qualities like this. I wouldn't consider an ESTP a liar getting whatever they want anymore than I would anyone else. This post borders on typism so just be careful with how you word this type of thing.
 
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