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Discussion Starter #1
Okay so my cousin and I used to be best friends. I used to insult people a lot with her and we both found it hilarious. I got into fights with her friends and turned them against her (not really on purpose..). I called this one girl fat for basically no reason who was her other best friends' best friend. She ended up going to my high school and told everyone I called her fat. It also didn't help that I had anorexia during that time lapse, so I heard her say "just because I don't starve myself.."

I used to make fun of everyone for basically no reason at all. I used to steal things from my cousin, be a bitch to my best friend when she was around when i was with my cousin. (I apologized to her a long time ago though.. after my falling out with my cousin).

Also I used to make fun of this guy behind his back I was good friends with to his face (I only really made fun of him because everyone else was I didn't initiate it but I did join in) On the contrary though he used to blackmail me and threaten to call the cops (i told him i stole 5c pieces of candy) every time I didn't listen to his bossing me around. (I was 9 and took it very seriously). i cried once because i was so scared.

I'm also a very jealous paranoid person and when my friends are around other friends I get mad because I always feel they're talking about me.

I didn't mean a single word of what I said to anybody, it was all for fun and laughs. I now have realized I hurt a lot of people for no reason and I feel terrible. I kind of feel I deserve to be alone and friendless for the rest of my life. I know it was wrong to make fun of that friend behind his back, call others names for no reason and act like a b*tch to my oldest best friend (now my ex best friend but only because she blows me off constantly) just to impress my cousin. I apologized to her profusely a long time ago. She's the only one I ever apologized to.

I haven't made any friends for 6 years, turned into a hideous disgusting beast, haven't had any fun at all during my high school years, get made fun of constantly and this dawned on me after I heard my cousin talking about me in the pool. I deserve all of it. I didn't realize what a repulsive person I used to be..

Does it sound like I was put in my place?
 

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Well i dont know the past has little meaning to me......some may say yes you've been taken down a few pegs others may say no its just how things turned out.......me i say......meh. As to if you deserve friends now well why not? Your not the same as you were back then are you? If not then well i dont see why not. If your still like that then well i still dont see no reason why not.

If you cant win back your old friends then just make some new ones dont see no reason(that you've stated) why ya cant but then again thats just my two cents.
 

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'Deserve' is self deprecating, implying inferiority or self abuse... I knew individuals much like how you used to be @lunareclipzee (I won't lie I disliked the majority of them) but over time some of these people changed (some toned it down or hyped it up, leading to 'us and them' attitudes alongside arrogance not earned), maturing as one expects; those that did not will most likely overcome their state of arrested development or princess attitudes with more life experience in the real world.

You need to be more objective with whom you are now versus whom you were then, attempting to realise how so many go through such phases themselves or conveniently 'forget' their A-hole phases fearing the judgment or silliness of such behaviours being known... if others refuse to see the person you have become then it is their decision you may be unable to change without moving on and allowing others the perspective time you have had yourself.
 

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Well i dont know the past has little meaning to me......some may say yes you've been taken down a few pegs others may say no its just how things turned out.......me i say......meh. As to if you deserve friends now well why not? Your not the same as you were back then are you? If not then well i dont see why not. If your still like that then well i still dont see no reason why not.

If you cant win back your old friends then just make some new ones dont see no reason(that you've stated) why ya cant but then again thats just my two cents.
No, I actually cringe at the way I behaved and treated my friends, but my cousin talks about that stuff as if it happened yesterday. "she steals my stuff," I heard her say a few weeks ago and this was 3 years ago I'm talking about. She said "she laughs at people like me.." out loud to her friends when I walk by.

The actual reason I have no friends is because I am socially awkward and too shy to talk to anybody. Plus I only acted like that around my cousin and friends that encouraged my behaviour. I could easily forget if it weren't for them still bringing it up.
 

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Leaving sarcasm out now, I believe that as long as you have realised your mistakes and learned out of them, you certainly deserve to have friends. However, if you intend to stay in that circly, it will mean that you will have to do a lot of work to amend and redeem yourself.
On a sidenote, you should also realize that friendships are not only fun, but also hard work. And this bonds can be destroyed fairly easy in most cases.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Leaving sarcasm out now, I believe that as long as you have realised your mistakes and learned out of them, you certainly deserve to have friends. However, if you intend to stay in that circly, it will mean that you will have to do a lot of work to amend and redeem yourself.
On a sidenote, you should also realize that friendships are not only fun, but also hard work. And this bonds can be destroyed fairly easy in most cases.
circly?
 

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Well then if possible just remove yourself from your cousin completely cause from what ya said she's the problem now. That or figure out why shes still like that and try to fix it.....but that is the more annoying method.
 

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Well then if possible just remove yourself from your cousin completely cause from what ya said she's the problem now. That or figure out why shes still like that and try to fix it.....but that is the more annoying method.
She's had her fair share of attention issues with her sister and some MAJOR self esteem problems. She lives near me now because her mother kicked her out of her house and now she lives 5 min walk away from me with her dad and I run into her a fair bit, she makes a point to raise her voice when i walk or bike by to bring up the past.

Grr I just wish she would go back to live with her mom so I don't have to hear what she has to say about me :rolleyes:
 

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Sorry, I meant circle. :)
I never was really in it. I was "best friends," with my cousin but I never really clicked with her other friends. I wouldn't even know where to start trying to befriend them now. My cousin is fairly popular from what I see now, back when we were friends not so much.
 

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Everyone deserves friends and no one should be alone.
We've all done stupid shit in the past, but the past is the past.
You need to look forward, rather than talking about how you were a horrible person, just tell yourself "alright, I'm going to make an effort not to be like that anymore"
I think you'll notice a great deal of change.
Because if nothing else, the fact you've admitted who you used to be is the first step to change.
 

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Well have you tried to like talk to her privately and try to fix your relationship i mean its not my method but sometimes it works. From what ya said she makes an effort to get your attention even if it is in a negative way so there's probably something there.

Again not my method and just my two cents on this........but you never know.
 

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Well of course you deserve to have friends you can't help what you did as a kid you were a different person(assuming that you were a kid of course). The past isn't something that you can change what matters now is that you are a better person now than you were before(or on your way to becoming better). I'm personally good friends with some people who were bullies as kids and because of it their adulthood was shaped for the better. I think your actions as a kid shouldn't be held against you at this point in your life(college?). The best thing in this situation would be for both you and your cousin to let go of the past and move on with your lives.

I think it's interesting that your picture is gaara because he also did bad things when he was younger but he was able to prove that he is a better person and earn his friends(like I hope you will be able to do). If gaara can try to kill a good amount of the characters and still end up their friends I'm sure you can fix your relationships with the people around you :laughing:. Sorry for relating your life to naruto but as an infp I have to do it once a day or I explode...
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Well have you tried to like talk to her privately and try to fix your relationship i mean its not my method but sometimes it works. From what ya said she makes an effort to get your attention even if it is in a negative way so there's probably something there.

Again not my method and just my two cents on this........but you never know.
No, not really. It seems like it would be difficult to be friends again given who she's friends with and how much they still resent me. She is trying to get my attention though, that I know.. I see her whispering and then when i walk by she raises her voice.. even if she's not talking about me.
 

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Well of course you deserve to have friends you can't help what you did as a kid you were a different person(assuming that you were a kid of course). The past isn't something that you can change what matters now is that you are a better person now than you were before(or on your way to becoming better). I'm personally good friends with some people who were bullies as kids and because of it their adulthood was shaped for the better. I think your actions as a kid shouldn't be held against you at this point in your life(college?). The best thing in this situation would be for both you and your cousin to let go of the past and move on with your lives.

I think it's interesting that your picture is gaara because he also did bad things when he was younger but he was able to prove that he is a better person and earn his friends(like I hope you will be able to do). If gaara can try to kill a good amount of the characters and still end up their friends I'm sure you can fix your relationships with the people around you :laughing:. Sorry for relating your life to naruto but as an infp I have to do it once a day or I explode...
Well if Gaara existed I doubt anybody would actually forgive a psychopathic lunatic who murdered people to get a rush. A lot of my friends were also bullies as a kid. I had one friend when I was 12 that threw rocks at disabled kids (I didn't join in on this..), and I'm going into my last year of high school. This was all when I was about 13. I try to let it go but she and her friends make a point to bring it up right in front of me out loud..
 

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I never was really in it. I was "best friends," with my cousin but I never really clicked with her other friends. I wouldn't even know where to start trying to befriend them now. My cousin is fairly popular from what I see now, back when we were friends not so much.
Looks can be quite deceiving when noting popularity and actual friendships; many people do not even seek really meaningful friendships before their mid 20's... at University for example I knew a guy vaguely from first year that could literally name untold alcohol party scene people by name, socialising with them on nights out but when it came to emotional support or unconditional friendships twice he seemed very lonely when he starting being unable to afford the 'social life'.
 

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Looks can be quite deceiving when noting popularity and actual friendships; many people do not even seek really meaningful friendships before their mid 20's... at University for example I knew a guy vaguely from first year that could literally name untold alcohol party scene people by name, socialising with them on nights out but when it came to emotional support or unconditional friendships twice he seemed very lonely when he starting being unable to afford the 'social life'.
Well most of my friendships have been really close. I found 1 or 2 friends to hang out with I related to for the school year and hung around them all year. Popularity has never been something I've actively strived for. My cousin had always envied the popular kids.. and seemed desperate to be one. She seemed to be trying to be something she's not when I hung around her
 

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No, not really. It seems like it would be difficult to be friends again given who she's friends with and how much they still resent me. She is trying to get my attention though, that I know.. I see her whispering and then when i walk by she raises her voice.. even if she's not talking about me.
Well you don't have to be friends with her but that doesn't mean you have to be enemies either.
 

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Well if Gaara existed I doubt anybody would actually forgive a psychopathic lunatic who murdered people to get a rush. A lot of my friends were also bullies as a kid. I had one friend when I was 12 that threw rocks at disabled kids (I didn't join in on this..), and I'm going into my last year of high school. This was all when I was about 13. I try to let it go but she and her friends make a point to bring it up right in front of me out loud..
Well hopefully college will help you let go of the past, it's definitely better than high school. If they are constantly bringing it up it sounds like acceptance of the past would be better than trying to forget it, but neither option is easy. As for gaara he had a very bad childhood and couldn't afford to get close to people. He would either kill or distance himself from every person he met. Gaara had many bad things forced on him as a child and there aren't very many people who are in a close enough situation to judge his past decisions, in my opinion.
 
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