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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This has been on my mind for a bit and I was wondering if you guys think I might have a compulsive buying problem.

I don't usually stress-buy items, but I do buy something expensive ($100+...doesn't go past that) once a month. I like collecting nautical militaria, so I add to my collection with each item I buy. I also keep an eye on how much I spend and I will not spend over the total amount I make. I therefore ensure that I make a sizable profit for my account, despite buying these personal items for myself.

After finding one item, I then head back to search around for another item. I mainly do that because I know how rare these items are to the general buyer. I also only buy rare items that have records of its authenticity.

I use my own money (I work, but I live with my parents) to purchase my goodies so I don't waste my parent's cash on uber expensive items. That being said, I'm just anxious that I am purchasing items this big since I'm worried that I'm just wasting my hard-earned money.

Sorry for the rambling way of writing, but this has been on my mind for a bit. I do enjoy collecting the items, but I am concerned I am cultivating bad spending habits - something I don't want to haunt me in the future.

...or maybe I'm just a worry-wart.

Thanks.
 

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I don't entirely think it's for us to judge this.

Let me put it this way...
Can I think of several other things which seem like a necessity (of course).
But I think 1. It's okay within reason for people to have a collecting interest. 2. Who knows sometimes every now and then collections are an investment.

Ya know my first thought though is actually of my temporary roommate. Granted she is not my kid. But still here was what I thought of. Do you contribute to the necessities within your home FIRST before your hobby. Even if it is not a requirement or needed. For example do you pay a percentage of heating/electric, water, garbage, food, toiletries, BEFORE you purchase these personal items for yourself.

My roommate is here temporarily and not my kid so it's different. But basically I want her to GTFO as soon as possible so told her I just want her to save save save. Let's just say it was a complete turn off to me when she chose to use extra money she was not required to budget to save to go spend on personal brand under wear and cheap brand perfume it rubbed me the wrong way. Why, this is where you come in. Because I view it as her privilege she is fortunate to have a place to stay until she gets on her feet. So when she took the remainder outside her bills and saving to go spend on personal luxury rather than redistribute back into the household I viewed her as selfish with a lack of integrity or dignity. So it's not that you splurge on yourself but if you're an adult and you consume the energy of your household and live there I just hope you consider before splurging on yourself contributing to the pot of stew you consume from.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I don't entirely think it's for us to judge this.

Let me put it this way...
Can I think of several other things which seem like a necessity (of course).
But I think 1. It's okay within reason for people to have a collecting interest. 2. Who knows sometimes every now and then collections are an investment.

Ya know my first thought though is actually of my temporary roommate. Granted she is not my kid. But still here was what I thought of. Do you contribute to the necessities within your home FIRST before your hobby. Even if it is not a requirement or needed. For example do you pay a percentage of heating/electric, water, garbage, food, toiletries, BEFORE you purchase these personal items for yourself.

My roommate is here temporarily and not my kid so it's different. But basically I want her to GTFO as soon as possible so told her I just want her to save save save. Let's just say it was a complete turn off to me when she chose to use extra money she was not required to budget to save to go spend on personal brand under wear and cheap brand perfume it rubbed me the wrong way. Why, this is where you come in. Because I view it as her privilege she is fortunate to have a place to stay until she gets on her feet. So when she took the remainder outside her bills and saving to go spend on personal luxury rather than redistribute back into the household I viewed her as selfish with a lack of integrity or dignity. So it's not that you splurge on yourself but if you're an adult and you consume the energy of your household and live there I just hope you consider before splurging on yourself contributing to the pot of stew you consume from.
I did offer to contribute to helping my family with paying for expenses, but they want me to save it and invest it for the future. Because of that, I try to help in physical ways, whether that means I cook or take care of the dogs - my mother's pride and joy.

Yeah. I don't tend to burn all leftover money on stuff since I'm trying to save a bit each time...while still ensuring that I build up good financial habits. I really fear splurging too much and I tend to put a hard cap on myself when it comes to purchasing.

Maybe I'm just neurotic about money, but I hear about people living from paycheck to paycheck...and that unnerves me.


Do these items spark joy in you?
They do! I love collecting these items because they are from the past. Most of these items were from vessels long gone. One of the rarest things I have is a jar filled from wood that was from one of the original American Revolution frigates - the USS Alliance.
 

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They do! I love collecting these items because they are from the past. Most of these items were from vessels long gone. One of the rarest things I have is a jar filled from wood that was from one of the original American Revolution frigates - the USS Alliance.
Then I think you are okay. As long as it doesn't hurt you financially I don't see why not. Everyone indulges themselves in some way. If you want to save money for specific things like your health and want to give priority on that but your buying habit is keeping you from it, perhaps you should try to restrain yourself but it's probably not a huge issue. You could perhaps do it more strategically and try to restrain yourself some times if you think it's a problem, but from what you say it doesn't sound like a problem to me.
 

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This is funny, but I have the same problem too. Whenever I see an item that I liked, I feel this urge to possess them, hence, I ended up buying them. If I don't buy them, I worry that I won't be able to find another item that I liked so much anymore, because I know it isn't often that I'll encounter an item that I liked so much.

Anyway, how I handled my situation is to carry only a certain amount of cash with me each time I go out, so that I won't feel that urge to overspend. And of course, I keep most of my money into my bank account to prevent myself from spending it, and I'll also make sure to leave my ATM card at home so that I wouldn't be able to withdraw money from the machine when I'm at outside.
This is my way of budgeting my money. :wink:
 

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I did offer to contribute to helping my family with paying for expenses, but they want me to save it and invest it for the future. Because of that, I try to help in physical ways, whether that means I cook or take care of the dogs - my mother's pride and joy.

Yeah. I don't tend to burn all leftover money on stuff since I'm trying to save a bit each time...while still ensuring that I build up good financial habits. I really fear splurging too much and I tend to put a hard cap on myself when it comes to purchasing.

Maybe I'm just neurotic about money, but I hear about people living from paycheck to paycheck...and that unnerves me.




They do! I love collecting these items because they are from the past. Most of these items were from vessels long gone. One of the rarest things I have is a jar filled from wood that was from one of the original American Revolution frigates - the USS Alliance.
We do not know the entirety of your life. I simply responded to my initial gut thought on the topic at hand. I do not personally inherently promote nor demonize personal hobby purchase. It's simply more a Matter of the context in which it is done and many factors. For example priorities, age of person in question etc.

Trust me as a mother And a daughter with experience of two sides of the coin I assure you I am very much in the middle on this topic. I.e. I am not the parent who is going to let my kids live off me for free forever, but I most certainly would promote they live off of me while establishing productive adult transition (as long as they are responsible) I.e. Building a career/education and saving I would have absolutely no problem extending longer range financial care to ensure they are well established. I do absolutely refuse to enable a grown person at a certain age if my kids ever tried to get away with not working or educating themselves and just try and live off me (nope). So I most certainly do not judge your parents if they let you live with them free of financial obligations given your a productive member of the Home. Further more if I consider my kids reasonably sensible with work/education and contributing like you in chores etc I would consider a random purchase to treat ones self to an interest reasonable as long as it came secondary. It sounds like it does for you so I wouldn't worry.

Now the Hardass in me is more so from the hardass I grew up with. I had to pay rent and expenses to the point it was very hard to even get on my feet to a point it was almost counter productive as far as more so seemed for personal security of parent rather then a technique to teach responsibility. And more so something that hindered some ability to stabilize. Granted it definitely taught me how to rise above and beyond and some serious humility. Further more given the charges motivated me to want to be out on my own and be self sufficient (I think that was the goal). I am far more an advocate of trying to stabilize tools and teach a bird how to build a nest and get supplies rather then upcharging. I certainly advocate for providing tools and transition but my hardass angle I am sure comes in to play more so when I see people enabled or abuse resources without any indication of growth and future self sufficiency.

So just for the record I in no way meant to imply you do exploit anything as more so was answering when I see buying personal items troublesome as far as priorities. My answer was very general and not meant to directly imply you specifically are any certain way was more so to demonstrate where I think persons are not justified in personal hobby or luxury purchases.

You seem reasonable from what you say I wouldn't worry about it.
 

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I think you're fine financially. You seem responsible and your spending seems very in control. The only is, I would kind of question the whole concept of taking so much joy from material objects. If you really truly do take sincere joy from it, that whatever, ignore me. But personally I would much rather put that money towards some experience or something you can actually use to do something cool... I mean, an item is just going to sit on a shelf... it doesn't really do anything.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I think you're fine financially. You seem responsible and your spending seems very in control. The only is, I would kind of question the whole concept of taking so much joy from material objects. If you really truly do take sincere joy from it, that whatever, ignore me. But personally I would much rather put that money towards some experience or something you can actually use to do something cool... I mean, an item is just going to sit on a shelf... it doesn't really do anything.
That is...kinda a good point. Maybe I need to get out more :frustrating:.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
We do not know the entirety of your life. I simply responded to my initial gut thought on the topic at hand. I do not personally inherently promote nor demonize personal hobby purchase. It's simply more a Matter of the context in which it is done and many factors. For example priorities, age of person in question etc.

Trust me as a mother And a daughter with experience of two sides of the coin I assure you I am very much in the middle on this topic. I.e. I am not the parent who is going to let my kids live off me for free forever, but I most certainly would promote they live off of me while establishing productive adult transition (as long as they are responsible) I.e. Building a career/education and saving I would have absolutely no problem extending longer range financial care to ensure they are well established. I do absolutely refuse to enable a grown person at a certain age if my kids ever tried to get away with not working or educating themselves and just try and live off me (nope). So I most certainly do not judge your parents if they let you live with them free of financial obligations given your a productive member of the Home. Further more if I consider my kids reasonably sensible with work/education and contributing like you in chores etc I would consider a random purchase to treat ones self to an interest reasonable as long as it came secondary. It sounds like it does for you so I wouldn't worry.

Now the Hardass in me is more so from the hardass I grew up with. I had to pay rent and expenses to the point it was very hard to even get on my feet to a point it was almost counter productive as far as more so seemed for personal security of parent rather then a technique to teach responsibility. And more so something that hindered some ability to stabilize. Granted it definitely taught me how to rise above and beyond and some serious humility. Further more given the charges motivated me to want to be out on my own and be self sufficient (I think that was the goal). I am far more an advocate of trying to stabilize tools and teach a bird how to build a nest and get supplies rather then upcharging. I certainly advocate for providing tools and transition but my hardass angle I am sure comes in to play more so when I see people enabled or abuse resources without any indication of growth and future self sufficiency.

So just for the record I in no way meant to imply you do exploit anything as more so was answering when I see buying personal items troublesome as far as priorities. My answer was very general and not meant to directly imply you specifically are any certain way was more so to demonstrate where I think persons are not justified in personal hobby or luxury purchases.

You seem reasonable from what you say I wouldn't worry about it.
Thanks for your answer! I attribute my abrupt answer to the fact...that this is a text-based answer.

I do appreciate the detailed response you have given. I just don't want to be excessively wasteful...that's all.
 
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This has been on my mind for a bit and I was wondering if you guys think I might have a compulsive buying problem.

I don't usually stress-buy items, but I do buy something expensive ($100+...doesn't go past that) once a month. I like collecting nautical militaria, so I add to my collection with each item I buy. I also keep an eye on how much I spend and I will not spend over the total amount I make. I therefore ensure that I make a sizable profit for my account, despite buying these personal items for myself.

After finding one item, I then head back to search around for another item. I mainly do that because I know how rare these items are to the general buyer. I also only buy rare items that have records of its authenticity.

I use my own money (I work, but I live with my parents) to purchase my goodies so I don't waste my parent's cash on uber expensive items. That being said, I'm just anxious that I am purchasing items this big since I'm worried that I'm just wasting my hard-earned money.

Sorry for the rambling way of writing, but this has been on my mind for a bit. I do enjoy collecting the items, but I am concerned I am cultivating bad spending habits - something I don't want to haunt me in the future.

...or maybe I'm just a worry-wart.

Thanks.
"Buying," is simply a [distracting] symptom/side-effect not the problem/malfunction. Dig-deeper; to address the (source).

Mild-forms of depression / anxieties / mood disorders / OCD may be the culprit to "stress buying,".



Answer/analyze the following (A, B, C, D) over a span of days ::


(A) What is causing you said stress, if any?


(B) What is causing you anxiety?


(C) What are you are (aiming) to supress/distract with materlistic objects?


(D) Are you bored?

__________________

In the meantime, spending (100+) or so, a week, seems fairly common among most specimen(s), regardless of the materials bought.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
"Buying," is simply a [distracting] symptom/side-effect not the problem/malfunction. Dig-deeper; to address the (source).

Mild-forms of depression / anxieties / mood disorders / OCD may be the culprit to "stress buying,".



Answer/analyze the following (A, B, C, D) over a span of days ::


(A) What is causing you said stress, if any?


(B) What is causing you anxiety?


(C) What are you are (aiming) to supress/distract with materlistic objects?


(D) Are you bored?

__________________

In the meantime, spending (100+) or so, a week, seems fairly common among most specimen(s), regardless of the materials bought.
I usually spend one big item (100+) a month...to not incur too much damage on my finances.

This habit could be due to stress. I'm waiting on my med school applications...and my record isn't exactly the strongest. I could definitely see obtaining nautical memorabilia as a distraction.

I also won't consider myself bored, but I'm definitely in a bit of a limbo. I'm working, but that's about it - not really going anywhere due to my applications. Heck! There's even a chance that my applications might be denied...and then I"ll still be wallowing in limbo while my peers go ahead of me.
 
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