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I thought, just after getting off-line last night, about writing that I need validation, and that the person who gives me that is going to get closer to me than anyone else, or words very close to that.


But it isn't accurate.


I thought about the word and the meaning of the word "validate", and I don't need it; I don't often give it to others; and I readily live without it.


Why?


Because I don't think most anyone knows me well enough to validate the choices I make, any more than most people know me well enough to invalidate them.


Also, based on how most people "show me" they live their own lives, as well--more importantly, on why they make those choices, I don't respect their decision making or choices, i.e. why would they validate my own choices, and how I arrived at them, even if they did know me well enough.


Rhetorical question.


When I say "most", really I mean anyone but my husband.


So, growth for myself; growth for others, yes, that I want.


This takes me back to the INFP/INTP hybrid I've been wrestling with, but the other night, I looked at a youtube comparing INFJ/INFP and played around with the possibility of either of those, and took an online test, chose INFP.


NOTE: The book, Gifts Differing?


I've read it; I have reread it. I reference it:


I come out INTP, with some "J" choices.


On Humanmetrics and some others, I come out INTJ.


The majority that don't give me INTJ, give me INTP, and not close for F/T.


More importantly, the two people who know me best: My husband and myself?


We know I'm a T.


So, what's the problem?


Working memory and debilitating diseases that leave me too much "need" to do something that isn't physically taxing after I've finished my Dharma Routine (I'll use that term for walking meditation; yoga and sitting meditation).


So I end up here and follow links for tests on sites like celebrity dot com or I follow a thread (now called topic) in which mostly 20-somethings discuss the differences using Ni and Ne and the rest so they sound erudite, and they've never read the MBTI Bible, Gifts Differing, let alone studied and regularly refer to it.


They have, and do, however, go to OKCupid (nice play on OK, stupid), and celebrity dot com and buzzfeed and such fun places as those, and then come in here "armed" with links and citations, including false definitions of what it means to be a feeler vs a thinker, and worse?


They take them away from the whole and compare them in lay-person's terms, though often the jargon is borrowed from Big 5 or Myers-Briggs.


When my memory problem isn't in the fore; when I'm not in need of distraction from pain that is grinding me down, I don't bother with all that, "and" when I do have the memory problems and the need for distraction I find myself "following" rather than observing--my usual way, this adolescent, pseudo-MBTI typing content.


Add to that, people on here reading my posts, not giving any, enough weight--if they're aware--of my diseases, education, working-class roots, linguistic play, "and" factor in their lack of care in comparing enough posts, asking "any" questions, why would I give what they say any notice at all.


Again, rhetorical.


Finally, and as important as the rest?


This idea that "thinkers" don't emote is nonsense.


Further, that "thinkers don't care".


Sure, memes galore, and funny images put together by people who like to mess around, i.e. on-site assertions: Well, "the majority rules", right?


Wrong.


Not to my mind. Not when I'm thinking clearer, and filtering out the gibberish.
 
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