[Angelexterminadora]

So my INFP friend told me that his biggest fear on the planet is of disappointing people. I mean, he has a history of his parents never being quite proud of him, but would you say as INFPs, this is a fear that you all share? I read somewhere that infp children try hard to please their parents, is this something that never quite goes away?

 

[Absurdist]

Recently i have felt that i have done nothing but disappoint. I do fear letting people down, but ultimately i fear letting myself down. I know i am a rather ambitious person and sometimes i feel as if my goals are way to extreme and will consequently result in failure and disappointment. This is rather self destructive thinking, but i also feel that i am the only person who i should care about when it comes to my goals and aspirations for myself. My family has been rather supportive of what i feel i have failed, and in some aspects i have failed. I fear disappointing others, but mostly myself.

 

[Confounded]

Yeah, I think it's pretty common among INFP's... fear of rejection, fear of disappointing others.
We want so badly to be loved and respected by all of our peers, and sadly that's just not possible. :sad:

 

[thecaterpillar]

I definitely have this problem. My parents didn't have to punish me growing up. I didn't want to disappoint them, so when I did I'd be heartbroken. I have been basically told I'm a disappointment by family for not finishing college, not staying chaste, having a few tattoos, listening to rock music, and so much more innocuous stuff. I disappoint myself a lot - I can be far too ambitious. But I let the idea of or actual disappointment people feel in me negatively impact my self-image far more than it should.

I'm working on this, because I realize the only people I should worry about disappointing are my husband, my son, myself, and my God.

 

[susurration]

Yes, definitely. I dislike being criticised not because I can't handle it, but because I already feel terrible about it. I don't need to be told when i've done something wrong. I already know, and am trying to redeem myself inside.

It's the result of over conscientiousness.

 

[Luke]

I fear disappointing myself more than I fear disappointing others. All the people I care about are very supportive of me and would probably be proud of me regardless of my achievements. Unfortunately I'm much harder on myself than they are.

 

[Pakaa]

Yes, I would even exaggerate and say this is what defines us.

 

[Sonne]

Yes, I would even exaggerate and say this is what defines us.

Can't speak for all INFPs, but it's definitely the case for me. People pleasing - don't want to disappoint anyone. Feels very ashamed for not living up expectations or for not making people proud. Forever striving to justify oneself to the world. Sense that you're on the verge of failing if you don't pull out all the stops to make everyone happy with me.

 

[stormy]

unfortunately, yeah. it takes so much out of me and i'm questioning if my misery is worth their satisfaction. i really don't think so and i'm working on this.

 

[Mulberries]

Not really. I want the people I care about to be proud of me, but if I screw up I'm not so much worried about them as I am myself and how it's going to impact me. All I want is their support whether for better or worse.

While I can't generalize because people on here have already agreed, I would have thought fear of disappointing people would be more of an INFJ thing.

 

[Sonne]

Not really. I want the people I care about to be proud of me, but if I screw up I'm not so much worried about them as I am myself and how it's going to impact me. All I want is their support whether for better or worse.

While I can't generalize because people on here have already agreed, I would have thought fear of disappointing people would be more of an INFJ thing.

Or it could be an NF trait which would fit both INFPs and INFJs.

 

[Kriash]

It's my biggest fear next to being alone forever.

 

[Mulberries]

Or it could be an NF trait which would fit both INFPs and INFJs.

Certainly, but I know it's a big thing with the ISFJs and INFJs I've known and that's why I thought Fe.

 

[Whynd]

in a word, yes. I hate disappointing people...and when I do, it always bothers me...but, life goes on and as I've gotten older I've found it easier to move on past disappointing someone... it still bothers me though.

 

[GreenLadyBug]

Yes, it's horrible. I do so many things that I don't want to do because I'm afraid of disappointing people. And I think people take advantage of me because of it. I'm so afraid that I'm going to live my entire life trying to please others without enjoying myself. But I'm just too afraid to do anything different.

 

[Acey]

it's a terrible feeling to disappoint anyone, though the fact that i disappoint ppl time after time makes me think i must not care as much as i think.

 

[LibertyPrime]

I hate disappointing people. I'd rather sacrifice myself then disappoint those I love...but somehow I still manage to fail .

it is my second worse fear after being alone. I hate being alone and unloved.

 

[under skies]

I worry a lot--irrationally--that I could suddenly do something to make people who already love me not love me anymore, or people who like me not like me. To put it in words would make it seem a bit extreme. I have this fear, though, because I just don't ever know what people want, and I know that people rarely see you exactly as you are. Until a certain point, anyway.

I wouldn't say it's all INFPs who feel that way. At this forum, there's probably a higher percentage of INFPs with a significant fear of rejection than just in general, and the ones who do feel that way may end up being more likely to respond to this thread (though I see you've already received some responses in the negative).


/And now I feel like I have cooties.

 

[Arbite]

I know I dissapoint people. My biggest fear is those people seeing their dissapointment affect me.

 

[Theodore]

I'm easily disappointed and afraid to disappoint.