Do INFPs need and desire social approval?

BranchMonkey said:

LivingWaters said:

I'm curious because I don't, and in general this feeling of not needing approval is common for INTPs. I've also noticed women generally need social approval and take social cues more than men, and also how INFPs are typically female, and wondered what that meant.

Thoughts? :kitteh:

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I test INTp so I'll bear that in mind.

No, generally, I don't need or seek social approval; it's been a cause of tension since I was a kid. I used to say, when someone challenged me on something I thought and they pushed me to change my mind, "I don't care if God said it!"

I meant, "If it doesn't make sense, I'm not buying it.

Still, like @angelfish I do value the opinion of the very few I truly bond with, so it hurts if I fight with my husband because he doesn't understand my reasoning behind my actions; conversely, I am so pleased when "he gets it" like I got rid of all but about 35 books, and I am a published author--over 30 years at it.

He always fought me, but this time, yesterday, though he admits it upset him, he did as I asked: Gave away (to our local library) more than 100 books (I didn't count them so I don't know exactly how many).

He said, "You explained it this time in a way I understood so I did it, and I think you were right to do it."

That is rare, however: If I were not ill, I would have given the books away myself, no help needed, and he would have been mad, and that would be that: My choice, my books, his problem.

Strangers and neighbors and who-all, I don't need or seek their approval on anything. I don't want anyone to misread me to the point they are afraid or call the police on me or do something destructive because they think my not smiling or some other action or non-action seems "too" bizarre to them, but what they think otherwise about how I dress or whatever... I don't know them enough to respect or disrespect them, so "shoulder shrug."

I am sorry, however, if my husband or someone else I like, respect, feels hurt by me. If we can make peace without my giving in on something I think makes sense, OK, please, let's make peace.

As for admiring others--I have never, to my knowledge, sought out someone I admired for a particular action and said so--other than my husband. We've been together coming up on 30 years so it is a special relationship, and therefore deserves and receives special consideration.

That said, I like peace, so I don't go out of my way to piss people off; and I do like it when I meet someone and we "click"; it just happens sometimes.

Kids, though--not all but many; and animals, well, it isn't approval, but I enjoy their trust in me.

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