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Ok, so here's the deal: I'm an INFP teen and I feel as though I have NO friends.
I know what you’re thinking- I’m exaggerating and being overly dramatic, but it’s honestly true. Sure, I have people who I talk to in class, people who I eat lunch with and occasionally text. But I don’t feel close to them. They never call me and rarely invite me to hang out anymore, and I feel like they only put up with me because they have to. I don’t know if it’s all in my head and I’m merely wallowing around in self-pity right now, or if I have a serious problem relating to other people.
Here’s a rundown of my sad existence as an INFP:
As a kid, I would hang out in my room and read and play with dolls all day instead of hanging out with the other kids on the playground. My mom had to basically force me to go and interact with them, because I never wanted to. I got bored running around and playing tag, and they were always SCREAMING. Needless to say, I didn’t become great friends with them, and mostly hung around the older kids.
Through elementary and middle school, I basically stuck with the same core group of people. I hung around them because I found them interesting, but we didn’t actually become good friends until around 8th grade (after 7 years of knowing each other). I attribute this to my tendency back then to stick my nose in a book and never come up for air. After my ISTJ friend practically ripped it out of my hands and forced me to talk more, we really hit it off. Like REALLY. I began to crawl out of my shell.
And then HIGH SCHOOL hit, and I suddenly found that I couldn’t relate to ANYONE (Not that I wasn’t trying). I would smile and make small talk with people, but I noticed that our conversations would quickly sputter out, leaving an awkward silence behind through which I would sneak furtive glances at the other person, wishing that I could fill the void. I could get past “Hey, what’s up?” and go from there, but I would soon find myself racking my brain for stuff to say, blurting out things that sounded good in my head but lame once they left my mouth. And then I would silently berate myself, wishing that I could have said something cooler while the other person stared at me oddly.
I’m a junior now, and the people who I “hang” with seem nice. They pretend to like me and call me their friend, but I KNOW they’re lying. Most of them never call me, rarely text me, and don’t include me in their plans. I feel like the odd ball out in their group, but I don’t leave because I don’t have another group to join. They’re really into theater and musicals, which I hardly know anything about (I’ve only heard of the classics like Les Mis and all the Disney ones), and although I tried get into the modern indie shows, I never could, so we don’t have much to talk about. I’ll try to change the subject sometimes so I can actually participate in a conversation with them, but it never works. I feel alone even when I’m with people, and I’m starting to wonder if there’s something wrong with me, or if this is common among INFP’s.
… Thoughts, anyone? All of the people who I hand around are ISTJs, INTJs, ISFJs, and ESFPs, by the way.
(And sorry for the long post! I kinda got carried away!)
I know what you’re thinking- I’m exaggerating and being overly dramatic, but it’s honestly true. Sure, I have people who I talk to in class, people who I eat lunch with and occasionally text. But I don’t feel close to them. They never call me and rarely invite me to hang out anymore, and I feel like they only put up with me because they have to. I don’t know if it’s all in my head and I’m merely wallowing around in self-pity right now, or if I have a serious problem relating to other people.
Here’s a rundown of my sad existence as an INFP:
As a kid, I would hang out in my room and read and play with dolls all day instead of hanging out with the other kids on the playground. My mom had to basically force me to go and interact with them, because I never wanted to. I got bored running around and playing tag, and they were always SCREAMING. Needless to say, I didn’t become great friends with them, and mostly hung around the older kids.
Through elementary and middle school, I basically stuck with the same core group of people. I hung around them because I found them interesting, but we didn’t actually become good friends until around 8th grade (after 7 years of knowing each other). I attribute this to my tendency back then to stick my nose in a book and never come up for air. After my ISTJ friend practically ripped it out of my hands and forced me to talk more, we really hit it off. Like REALLY. I began to crawl out of my shell.
And then HIGH SCHOOL hit, and I suddenly found that I couldn’t relate to ANYONE (Not that I wasn’t trying). I would smile and make small talk with people, but I noticed that our conversations would quickly sputter out, leaving an awkward silence behind through which I would sneak furtive glances at the other person, wishing that I could fill the void. I could get past “Hey, what’s up?” and go from there, but I would soon find myself racking my brain for stuff to say, blurting out things that sounded good in my head but lame once they left my mouth. And then I would silently berate myself, wishing that I could have said something cooler while the other person stared at me oddly.
I’m a junior now, and the people who I “hang” with seem nice. They pretend to like me and call me their friend, but I KNOW they’re lying. Most of them never call me, rarely text me, and don’t include me in their plans. I feel like the odd ball out in their group, but I don’t leave because I don’t have another group to join. They’re really into theater and musicals, which I hardly know anything about (I’ve only heard of the classics like Les Mis and all the Disney ones), and although I tried get into the modern indie shows, I never could, so we don’t have much to talk about. I’ll try to change the subject sometimes so I can actually participate in a conversation with them, but it never works. I feel alone even when I’m with people, and I’m starting to wonder if there’s something wrong with me, or if this is common among INFP’s.
… Thoughts, anyone? All of the people who I hand around are ISTJs, INTJs, ISFJs, and ESFPs, by the way.
(And sorry for the long post! I kinda got carried away!)
