[DaisyChain]

Hello.

I am trying to gain some insight into an INTP acquaintance, and a question came to me. Do you take things personally? Does anyone ever do or say anything that makes you feel hurt? If so, what actions or words are likely to evoke such a reaction in you?

Also, does the identity of that person have bearing? In other words, are you more likely to take it personally if it's a friend/lover/relative, or a stranger?

Thank you for any insights you can shed on a cryptic and fascinating person/type.

Daisy

 

[NeedsNewNameNow]

we can.. especially when in the grip of Fe.
It doesn't happen as often as with other types. We can take many things in stride that other types would get quickly upset about

As for who can, it depends. the closer you are to use, the more potential there is for hurt, but also the closer you are to us the more likely we are to get your true meaning if nothing was meant by it.

Strangers can too if they hit a sore spot

 

[Master of Visibility]

Treat us like anyone else; we get hurt: we feel pain. We can take criticism, but we are not immune to it. In fact if it is from someone close it probably going to be taken personally if it isn't constructive. If you treat us as an object and not a friend then we will be hurt.

There really isn't anything cryptic about us. Everyone just thinks we are some breed of artificial humans.

 

[Cover3]

Of course we do, the difference is we probably are better at concealing our reactions than others, my Fe picks up on these things, but rarely do I ever act on it, I just make a mental note of this and may or may not continue to respect the person that offended me

 

[Dashing]

I might not show that I'm hurt but back home, I'll be thinking about it. About how much you're wrong (or right), INTP's value criticism but to a certain extend. It's silly, me speaking for this kind of subgroup but it's how I feel(lol). I'm just trying to say... Everything goes into the big equation. We hold you accountable as much as we hold ourselves accountable.

It's quite dangerous. We are forgiving, we do understand the nature of the beast. But if you show persistent liable behavior, we will take note of it and act upon it. (I hope I'm making sense)

And like others said before me, the closer you get the more it hurts if something bad happens. We don't let people in easily for a reason and when it becomes clear that we've made a miscalculation concerning a person we have reevaluate the entire system. Feel free to disagree!

(we === me.)

 

[badgers]

It depends on the person and what they said/did.

 

[NeedsNewNameNow]

Of course we do, the difference is we probably are better at concealing our reactions than others, my Fe picks up on these things, but rarely do I ever act on it, I just make a mental note of this and may or may not continue to respect the person that offended me

True, we may not outwardly react but instead right the person off.
Or get distant if it's someone close

 

[kalias]

It can happen but in general I try not to. If it's a close friend I tend to take it more personally. But as other said, we're humans to so don't be very harsh.

 

[nadjasix]

I have almost no reaction to anything anyone says.

Unfairness tends to make me angry. But otherwise, whatever...

 

[TheOperator]

As long as a person is constructive and relevant with their criticisms, nothing will phase me.
If people try to make things personal, or are clearly trying to ridicule me, I will get upset.
What makes me angry is when I am criticized from somebodies subjective viewpoint, such as "you talk too much" or "nobody cares what you say" or "you are too quiet".

When people think negatively about anything based on their personal opinions, it upsets me. Thinking somebody is lazy compared to what you consider laziness, versus somebody actually being lazy are two different thing. Just be objective and on point, it shouldn't bother the person too much.

 

[pie]

Hello.

I am trying to gain some insight into an INTP acquaintance, and a question came to me. Do you take things personally? Does anyone ever do or say anything that makes you feel hurt? If so, what actions or words are likely to evoke such a reaction in you?

Also, does the identity of that person have bearing? In other words, are you more likely to take it personally if it's a friend/lover/relative, or a stranger?

Thank you for any insights you can shed on a cryptic and fascinating person/type.

Daisy

why are you attacking me?! :angry: :crying:

nah, just kidding. if you could give some specific examples of situations and/or comments, I could tell you if I would take those things personally or not.

 

[Deathbagel]

I take things personally that touch on my own insecurities, that's all. And yeah, it hurts more when it's somebody I know. Basically just like any sane human being. The only odd thing is that I think even worse than with people I'm friends with, it stings like hell when I feel belittled by somebody I like (either romantically or in a friendly way but primarily the former) but to whom I haven't announced my intentions. So basically... I guess I'm already second-guessing and overanalyzing how they feel about me so negative feedback hits hardest.

 

[goodgracesbadinfluence]

YES.

We are people too, not heartless robots.

 

[koalaroo]

Only when you talk about my mother.

No, I'm kidding. Talk freely about my mother. She's a total bitch.

No, wait. Only I can say that!

 

[nadjasix]

I think I cared more about that stuff when I was younger. At this point, I'd have to work to muster up a conscious fuck to give if someone's being douchey. Usually says more about them than it does the person they're picking at, anyway...

 

[crazyeddie]

Hmm. Hard to say. I think we talk most things in stride, but when it hurts, it really does hurt. Once you get past our logic, we're really fairly fragile. Attacking one our theories won't faze us the slightest, I think, and we'd really welcome the feedback. Things that probably would get to us is telling us that we're letting down somebody we care about, or that we're incompetent. (Our primary Ti gives us a Thing about our own competence. Very high standards. We're perfectionists, in a very odd way.)

Like somebody else mentioned, if you could tell us a specific case, we could probably tell you if an INTP would take it personally or not.

 

[kikikins]

Yeah, sometimes. I get angry if someone insults my intelligence and I also get angry when I am ignored. General critique about my ideas is totally fine so long as it's not expressed in a demeaning or insulting manner.

 

[theorycraft]

Yes we take things personally but we won't tell you until its days, weeks, or years after the event has occurred. Inferior Fe is very very fragile and once it is no longer suppressed we become extremely sensitive. If I am engaging in conversation and I feel like I am being ignored or my ideas are being dismissed then I will take a personal note that I do not like you, especially if you are someone I consider close. One of my very close friends told me that my way of thinking with Ne is inefficient. That hit the spot. We value our time, energy, and our commitment to our ideas and thoughts. If you don't reciprocate with some sort of appreciation, we will take things personally. Because we interact less frequency than other personality types, we expect more value and feedback with our dialogue as opposed to someone who talks nonstop. You don't have to appreciate anything we say at all, we won't get hurt by that at all. But it is very important you share that same opened-mindedness to new and unconventional ideas that we as INTPs hold dearly. It is one of our core values, and if you are too dismissive and unwilling to learn, listen, or understand, then we will feel hurt.

 

[crazyeddie]

Yeah, sometimes. I get angry if someone insults my intelligence and I also get angry when I am ignored. General critique about my ideas is totally fine so long as it's not expressed in a demeaning or insulting manner.

(not so much a reply, more pointing out a case study) It takes a *lot* of effort for us to put our Ti-Ne insights into words that are even remotely comprehensible to another person, so we're not likely to do it unless we know we're going to be listened to. Ignoring, or worse, talking over, an INTP when they're trying to say something they've Ti'd over is probably the fastest way to get on their shit list. Interrupting us when we're on an Ne spree isn't such a big deal, especially if it opens up a new and exciting tangent to explore.

And, again, insulting our competence is bad, but critique our theories and ideas all you want.

 

[In2itive]

I'm not sure if I take things personally or if I just get annoyed with the stupid things people say without thinking. Such as...

I mentioned to someone I had to go buy a vent for a clothes dryer. Their reply was, "you can get those at Home Depot." No shit? Thanks Mr Obvious. And to think I was thinking of going to KMart, Sears, OSH, True Value, Ace and Lowe's and probably a few other places that sell them before going to Home Depot. You saved me a ton of money on gas.

And I'm currently looking for a job. People that know I'm an introvert and I have have done IT related stuff say stupid shit like, "have you tried WalMart?" This, coming from people who would never work at WalMart themselves, and without considering my application would be discarded very soon after they see my work and salary history.

And, "You are still single? You should really try one of those online dating sites....."

Also, today I had some stranger tell me I'm white and I should spend more time in the sun. Oh yes! I'll get right on that as soon as I get home and lay out in the sun. After all, I've only has skin cancer once so far.