[jchk]

In general. As an INTJ, I'm attracted to charming ISFPs.

And some artisty, stylish, good-looking, charming ISFPs are attracted to me.

I just don't understand why the playful, fun and charming ISFPs would be attracted to me (INTJ) even though I'm a nerd?

 

[LegendaryBoobs]

prefer intp or entp

 

[Wartime Consigliere]

If there are some ISFPs attracted to you, maybe it's not because you're INTJ but instead because of who you are as an individual?

The first ISFP relationship I ever had, I thought she was out of my league but apparently (of all things) it was my manners that made a really good impression on her. I remember she used to be amused whenever I'd guide our walking direction whenever we were in town holding hands, because I'd try to weave us in between people/groups so that no one had to stop walking and get those awkward little waits for people to pass before you can carry on.

 

[Killionaire]

I think it was the fact that you were holding her hand. I've never heard of manners attracting women.

 

[uncertain]

I think it was the fact that you were holding her hand. I've never heard of manners attracting women.

I can be wrong but if you are holding hands it means either that she has already been attracted to you before so, OR she simply sees you as a friend/buddy.

To OP I think it all depends on the person. While ISFP can be playful, fun, and charming, not all of them are, and not all of them are just that. If you are in INTJ and a nerd, chances are you are pretty smart, knowledgeable, and insightful, and those qualities can make you an interesting and admirable person. I don't know how many but certainly there are ISFPs who incline toward intellectual subject matters and would find you amazing. From my experience there are communication problems but it's less problematic for a INTJ than a INTP because of the functions. For me, J vs P can be a problem and I do feel more comfortable around Ps, but some Ps are happy around Js for reasons

And yea even if you are a nerd, you are not just a nerd.

 

[DLila]

Did you just divide us into mature (stylish, artsy) and immature (playful, fun) ISFP's?
We're all a mix of both. But maybe the playful ones could be extroverts, so their bubbly side showed?

By nerd do you mean the image of a stereotypical movie nerd, or you being a smart guy while we're feely pandas?

I know that no ISFP would waste time interacting with anyone they perceive as being cold. So I'm assuming you've been "fun" to be around. Like OptimistMind said, it has to do with who you are as an individual more than your type.

I can only speak for myself here, interactions with INTJs have been awkward. There was nothing we could really *talk* about so it mostly ended with polite goodbyes. Still, it would be fun to get to know INTJs better...in small amounts.
You guys may have a metal heart, but it still beats right? XD

 

[Killionaire]

I know that no ISFP would waste time interacting with anyone they perceive as being cold. So I'm assuming you've been "fun" to be around. Like OptimistMind said, it has to do with who you are as an individual more than your type.

I can only speak for myself here, interactions with INTJs have been awkward. There was nothing we could really *talk* about so it mostly ended with polite goodbyes. Still, it would be fun to get to know INTJs better...in small amounts.
You guys may have a metal heart, but it still beats right? XD

I'm cold, calculating, and scientific about a lot of things, but I also have a strong artistic, romantic side which normally there isn't a reason to show to people. I think I'm actually more emotional and sensitive than most INTJ's. I fall in love easily. I am a fun seeker, in fact too much. I'm often looking for fun things to do and to buy. I like variety and new things. I seek out ethnic grocery stores so I can try new foods. Sometimes I buy a new gourmet treat on Amazon that I haven't tried before. I definitely don't feel awkward around ISFP's. It's like we're kindred spirits. I find some ISFP's to be amazingly charming.

 

[DLila]

Haha, so thats what a heart of aluminium foil looks like.
Your inferior function has developed quite well (salute you).
Are you an enneagram type 9?

 

[Whitewater]

I like INTJs....I fell in love with one who could have been perfect for me but he ruined it by not wanting to give us a chance.

Killionaire seems like another INTJ who is perfect and amazing, but of course they're always either online, thousands of miles away...or just don't want you like the guy I fell for.

 

[Killionaire]

Haha, so thats what a heart of aluminium foil looks like.
Your inferior function has developed quite well (salute you).
Are you an enneagram type 9?

I see myself as a heart of fire inside a warrior. The outside is cool but the inside is blazing.
I'm enneagram type 5 - the thinker/observer. My top two cognitive functions are Te and Ti.
Thanks for mentioning enneagram. I took the test and learned more about myself.

 

[Ryosuke93]

I wonder if it is because we are using the same functions just in different order (isfp, esfp,intj,entj) and that we are both introverts? It is like a "familiar" kind of connection. Like you would think, deep down, this person just might be able to understand me. Whether that is true will depend on both people and their maturity and well-roundedness. But I think that could just be one of the reasons for the attraction. They will seem different, but not totally out there.

 

[Killionaire]

Yeah I think it's partly because of the same functions that I feel there's a mutal understanding. ESFP's also have the same functions as INTJ's, but having Se as the dominant function gives them a shallow, superficial vibe which fails to interest me. But I think the dominant Fi of ISFP's really speaks to me and connects with my own Fi, and it's like they combine into one huge Fi that amplifies feelings.

 

[Tabula Rasa]

I believe my best friend to be an INTJ. She appears to be not very emotional but I know it's different on the inside, as I guess it's the case for a lot of INTJs. I like her because she is very funny and not too serious haha but she can be when needed. There is this sort of connection that I cannot explain but I know it's there. Also, she has a lot of hidden pleasant qualities that I discovered as we were getting closer. This is something I like about INTJs, they are deep on the inside and full of surprise in my opinion.:happy:

 

[White River]

I'm cold, calculating, and scientific about a lot of things, but I also have a strong artistic, romantic side which normally there isn't a reason to show to people. I think I'm actually more emotional and sensitive than most INTJ's. I fall in love easily. I am a fun seeker, in fact too much.

I can relate to this too, though I tend to need an enabler or catalyst to be able to let loose fully. So far, I haven't really found anyone like that, although my ISTP friend is one I tend to have most fun experiences with. I have read that there is a correlation between being musical/playing an instrument and sensitivity to emotions, might explain some of it for me.

I think a lot of the exterior 'coldness' comes down to the fact that I'm actually really quite delicate on the inside - I suspect this may be true for other INTJs.

It would be nice to have more ISFP input in the INTJ forum (personal opinion), but maybe I just need to hang out here more.

 

[sicksadworlds]

It depends of the individual. My best friend in high school was an INTJ, we got along pretty well, did everything together. However, nowadays I'm not sure if we would get along that well because:

- It's gotta be her way or the highway. I didn't mind because I have always been the kind of person who goes with the flow to avoid conflict, but now her Te-ness would annoy me most of the times.
- She puts her life goals first. In her case that means people who aren't around her being useful to achieve her goals are forgotten and are only contacted when she wants something from them. Of course, a feeler isn't the best match for a person like that.

Anyway, these are some points that can bring conflict between an ISFP and an INTJ, but in the end what really matters is the individual.