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i know every one is different but that why this is called advice :p
i met this girl about 7 years ago from a mutual friend, she was a senior in HS and i had just graduated the year before. we hit it off instantly!! just "something" some kinda spark.. its years later when i asked her what was it about me that made her want to invest effort into maintaining a friendship all these years.

her response: "see for me i thought that you would be someone fun and interesting to hang out with someone that i know when i felt comfortable and let my guard down would be able to talk to about anything and not get bored which for me is hard to find."
i only brought this up because im an infj male(do i really need to say more lol) and just because my "powers" dont work on her... sometime it feels from the outside like shes indifferent and i told her that sometimes i will see her on FB chat and will hesitate to talk to her or ask her to do thing because sometimes i feel like "does she even want me around" so i asked her point blank and she said: "its everyone else i really dont care to talk to lol"
we had a good talk after that... a better understanding of eachother :) that was a year ago.
more recently tho... i asked her to be my date to my brothers wedding and meet my family (the first girl ive ever introduced to my family and i'll be 26 in may lol) that went great, she and my mother got along perfect(..almost too well lol) we later went to see a drive in movie and we were sitting in the back like normal, eating popcorn adding our own "MST3K" commentary to the movie lol (shes so quick..me not so much) she gets alil closer..i scoot alil closer, by the time i know it im laying on her chest and she has her arms around my shoulders and we're cuddling (it only took 7 years!!) and i feel her squeeze me slightly and let out a big sigh and i felt her... "melt" around me resting the side of her head on the back of mine. it was.... nice. we didnt say anything the rest of the movie, then it ended and i turned around, cupped her face and gave her a simple kiss on the lips.
we've never discussed that night but since then ive told her that i love her, the women shes become and still becoming (shes 24) and that no matter what, we'll still be friends but what surprised me was how willing she was to tell me she loves me back AND in front of other people..(cause in all the years ive known her.. shes not really the affectionate type lol) but it does make me wonder (with my own trust issues) if she says it cause she thinks its what i want to hear?
do other istps find it easy to say thos words? or will they say them to not hurt others feelings?
 

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Easy words - if spoken to right person. I've never had a problem to say "I love you", as long, as I knew it's true. But to say that because it's expected from me? Not going to happen. Ever. I would be more like "Eee, yyy... Oh. Alright. Thanks... I guess..." Or, in case of close friend "When the hell did you hit your head that badly?"
 

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The words "I love you." never come out, even for family members. Even when the other person expects it in return. Its a matter of having the time to think about who you are and were you want to be with the person. It also takes sorting though the feelings and understating them enough to be comfortable with them. It also takes trust in the other person. So for the words to be said means that she means it. We don't say things for the hell of it, we say it because we mean it.
 

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Sings like you have something good growing. I'd be willing to bet She really likes you. The best thing you can do is just be open with your feelings and don't push her to be open with hers. She sounds like she's attached to you and just needs to process that. Give her time to volunteer it. The less you ask of her, the more you'll get. On the beginning of a relationship, istp can be gunshy. So let her open up as she feels comfortable
 

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She really trusts you. We're really unsure about giving love but if she said it then it's really there. I think she really loves you for sure! Only you can say if that's enough for a relationship but if she said that she loved you, you can count on that being there pretty much forever, even if a relationship like the one you are asking about doesn't come around. How many people can you count on for this? You're very lucky!
 

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do other istps find it easy to say thos words? or will they say them to not hurt others feelings?
I only tell people I love them when I actually do, a rare thing indeed.

I've made people cry by putting honesty over their feelings on multiple occasions. I'm always trying to help them solve their problem when they just want to be comforted and told that it's okay to not change for the better.
 

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When my ex would text or tell me he loved me "I love you too" would come out of my mouth automagically, at least at first. I stopped saying that after about 3 days though, because I realized I didn't. I'd just nod and kind of grin or change the subject which made him (ISFP) highly uncomfortable...
 

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Saying "I love you" opens me up, which makes me vulnerable. I'm uncomfotable saying it unless its to a woman I'm dating, and I usually say it while we're fucking.
 

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When my ex would text or tell me he loved me "I love you too" would come out of my mouth automagically, at least at first. I stopped saying that after about 3 days though, because I realized I didn't. I'd just nod and kind of grin or change the subject which made him (ISFP) highly uncomfortable...
"Automagically" if that's a typo, greatest typo EVER. New word. If not, great word.
 
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When I was younger, I felt pressured to respond to the teenage girls who threw it around. I rarely said it back to them however and I always felt they knew it was a joke. Now if someone says it to me and they're family or close family friends, I say it back (well most of the time.) But other than that, I either tell them not to throw it around if I feel they are not treating that phrase with respect or I tell them "thank you." And if I really do love them, I say it back. Not without awkwardness of course.
 

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i know every one is different but that why this is called advice :p ...
i met this girl about 7 years ago from a mutual friend, she was a senior in HS and i had just graduat...

but what surprised me was how willing she was to tell me she loves me back AND in front of other people..(cause in all the years ive known her.. shes not really the affectionate type lol) but it does make me wonder (with my own trust issues) if she says it cause she thinks its what i want to hear?
do other istps find it easy to say thos words? or will they say them to not hurt others feelings?
What a lovely story! I am so happy for you. I think you found love! And the answer to your trust issues at the same time! Because you can trust your average normal ISTP. They mean what they say!

See, you are getting basically the same answer from all the ISTPs. Just what I thought I'd see when I saw the thread title!

My ISTP took so long to say it! I felt he felt it more than he was ready to admit to himself. He is totally honest and I think he maybe had to be quite sure of his feelings, or quite sure he knew me. I will tell you a short version of us, as I have shared so much here already, and I am repeating some of it. But I think you might enjoy the story since you are in love.

We were long distance email friends about 7 years too. Please know - ISTPS very often prefer friendship prior to love, and a deep long friendship first is often favored. Its characteristic! Unlike we ENFPS who can fall hard and fast (and permanent!). A break in our correspondence, then I met him for the first time in October. I was surprised to really like him but did NOT want a relationship now AT ALL, quite determined, and I thought to myself, "and not with him, either, he has some issues" . However, after that brief meeting I completely fell for him. After a hug, and a tone of voice, and a look, that gave me a glimpse of his feelings. (which he even sort of denied that first week... but I know what I perceived). So we write daily for a few months and my feelings don't let up, ever. I practically throw myself at him and my feelings are no mystery and this is unlike me - I wait to be wooed and chased (however that method brought me a bad husband).... and proclaimed just shy of "I love you" (as in, "I feel love for you")...

I saw him next in February which seemed like eternity. I couldn't stand it any more. A part of me hoped to hear I love you, or some really sure sign. He shared much love and affection, and more talk of the future as we have right along, but not those words, which was sort of okay, as I could see how he felt, and I knew anything he showed was genuine and honest, and I wanted him to say it when he is ready, out of complete freedom.

Now back home again, more much writing, and he went through, and is still getting though, a little crisis which I was all "with" him for and even helped in some practical ways, which did necessitate a phonecall (he doesn't like phone, and I let this go, as I read here this is ocmmon for ISTPs, and I think this will change when he is ready) and in that call he shocked me blurting out "I love you". I was stunned, and responded, "I love you too", but then I emailed him, reminding he said this, in case he forgot. But he meant it, and most dearly wrote explaining why he loved me. And calls me "love" and "beloved" now... so happy!

You are fortunate. I think she really loves you, means it truly, and will be true, and will love you with all her heart. I do think so.
 
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