[AngelOnHerFlight]

The vice principal of my school is a One on the Enneagram and I've never heard her apologize before. For example, when she accuses a student of doing something wrong and it turns out that she judged them unfavorably, she'll make a lame excause like "Oh, well then you must always look like your following the rules." Most people would say, "I apologize for judging you unfavorably."

Do any of you Ones have such difficulty admitting your flaws? I want to come to understand you guys better.

 

[cyamitide]

Depends on their health/development level. Also the size of the mistake and how it affects the person's competency fixation. In summary it depends on the person. I think all healthy 1s are able to admit to their mistakes, because otherwise how would one learn?

 

[Wake]

The vice principal of my school is a One on the Enneagram and I've never heard her apologize before. For example, when she accuses a student of doing something wrong and it turns out that she judged them unfavorably, she'll make a lame excause like "Oh, well then you must always look like your following the rules." Most people would say, "I apologize for judging you unfavorably."

Do any of you Ones have such difficulty admitting your flaws? I want to come to understand you guys better.

1s are known to be abnormally honest because you should be held accountable for all actions and accept the necessary blame. I would say that in general they do not have trouble viewing mistakes and understanding wrong doings. I would say typically they're not for this reason. If you care to go into greater detail I could give a better answer based on your situation.

Each person does have an ego, and if they grow too strong of an opinion then they could grow ignorant to others' opinions, but this is far from contained to a 1 problem.

1s are pretty opinionated, so they will have trouble accepting others' word that their position is wrong and wait until they prove themselves wrong.

 

[jbking]

Perspective here is rather important. If we were looking at public mistakes, then yes I'd 'fess up to having difficulty acknowledging errors. However, if you could take a slice of the chatter in my head, then I doubt there would be any question as I'm often telling myself where I screwed up yet again in my life.

The Five Languages of Apology | The 5 Love Languages® would be another way to view this that I wonder if you have considered what kind of apology language are you used to seeing? The link of the languages is quite useful in pointing out the handful of types where someone may give an apology without saying, "I'm sorry," as if they tend to take responsibility then there may be other corrective action to note.

 

[Vivid Melody]

Pride can be a bitch. I usually know/realize when I'm wrong (when someone points it out to me) and I want to admit it, but apologies don't come easy for me because I find them embarrassing and I hate feeling vulnerable because it makes me feel out of control and I hate that feeling.

 

[cyamitide]

Pride can be a bitch. I usually know/realize when I'm wrong (when someone points it out to me) and I want to admit it, but apologies don't come easy for me because I find them embarrassing and I hate feeling vulnerable because it makes me feel out of control and I hate that feeling.

that too, for some reason it is very easy for me to slip into competitive state of mind and become unwilling of admitting to any vulnerability ... I've felt a lot of similarity with 8s in this respect, but they have a different conception of what constitutes vulnerability than 1s

 

[AngelOnHerFlight]

1s are known to be abnormally honest because you should be held accountable for all actions and accept the necessary blame. I would say that in general they do not have trouble viewing mistakes and understanding wrong doings. I would say typically they're not for this reason. If you care to go into greater detail I could give a better answer based on your situation.

Each person does have an ego, and if they grow too strong of an opinion then they could grow ignorant to others' opinions, but this is far from contained to a 1 problem.

1s are pretty opinionated, so they will have trouble accepting others' word that their position is wrong and wait until they prove themselves wrong.

I'd rather not go into greater detail, because your post answered my question.

Yeah, everybody's like that on some level. I just can't stand people who haven't worked in that area. Now I'm pretty sure it's not a One trait and just a trait of hers. Thanks!

 

[AngelOnHerFlight]

Every person has their weaknesses. Mine is that I notice the weaknesses of others.

I think my sister is also a One. My mom is a One-ish Six.

 

[ENTJam]

Much to the contrary, I'm the first to apologize (even if I didn't do anything).

 

[Curiously]

It took my sister, a Type 1, a relatively long while to get to a point in her life where she was able to lay aside her pride for a moment to apologize. She's still more resistant to apologizing, but she's gotten much better, especially when it comes to our relationship.

 

[Wake]

It took my sister, a Type 1, a relatively long while to get to a point in her life where she was able to lay aside her pride for a moment to apologize. She's still more resistant to apologizing, but she's gotten much better, especially when it comes to our relationship.

Ya, the focus on resentment creates someone who always wants to be right. Now most are mature enough to recognize they can be wrong and come to terms with it, but it does hurt due to our values. Often 1s push others to admit they're wrong, and then they realize they should be willing to do the same to be the best person possible.

Resentment leads to pride, but realism tames this idealism of self.

 

[Dental Floss Tycoon]

Much to the contrary, I'm the first to apologize (even if I didn't do anything).

Me too. But there are situations where I find really difficult to apologize and I may not say a single word about it, but when I'm alone I'll feel as guilty as if I killed some innocent person. As a type One, I don't relate that much to the "I'm always right" kind of attitude, but instead my inner critic turns to myself.

 

[Steel Magnolia]

I have terrible difficulty when it comes to admitting mistakes. Especially if it's a recent mistake. It's easier for me to say, "I've made a mistake" vs. "I'm making a mistake" (and neither is easy to say). With a past mistake, especially one that is years or decades old, I've had some distance from it, and it's somewhat easier to admit to. But when I screw something up, I often have a very hard time admitting it to anyone besides myself until I've put distance behind me. Quite honestly, I feel like an idiot when I screw something up that is important to me. I feel like the dumbest person alive when this happens, and with that feeling comes *more inappropriate guilt*.

 

[Coburn]

My mistakes are hardest to accept when they're pointed out by others. They're easiest when I recognize them in myself.

 

[Wake]

I have terrible difficulty when it comes to admitting mistakes. Especially if it's a recent mistake. It's easier for me to say, "I've made a mistake" vs. "I'm making a mistake" (and neither is easy to say). With a past mistake, especially one that is years or decades old, I've had some distance from it, and it's somewhat easier to admit to. But when I screw something up, I often have a very hard time admitting it to anyone besides myself until I've put distance behind me. Quite honestly, I feel like an idiot when I screw something up that is important to me. I feel like the dumbest person alive when this happens, and with that feeling comes *more inappropriate guilt*.

Don't you want others to be able to admit when they're wrong and change?

 

[Benja]

I make mistakes all the time at work and usually I just fix them instead of making an event out of it. I'm always very honest when asked about things and I try not to mislead people.

That being said, often times a mistake is a subjective thing anyway and one person's unacceptable error is another person's normality. Food for thought.

 

[Steel Magnolia]

Don't you want others to be able to admit when they're wrong and change?

Well, yes, I do prefer it when people are honest and admit their mistakes, if it's an instance where I see others conducting themselves in a way I can't stand. That said, I know that people have to want to change themselves. I know I can't change others, even though I wish certain people would change certain actions. It can be very frustrating to me, I'll admit.

I think what I have a hardest time admitting to are personal flaws and faults, rather than screwing up a task. I can admit to my faults if directly asked, and if I'm speaking to someone who I know has my best intentions at heart. That said, it's not a topic of conversation that I like to initiate. Or one that I will go into with a person who I know does not have my best intentions at heart.

 

[HollyGolightly]

Much to the contrary, I'm the first to apologize (even if I didn't do anything).

Oh god me too. I'm overly apologetic. I say sorry for saying sorry...

 

[Noir Desir]

It depends on the person I'm dealing with. More than often I can be an emotionless, stubborn bitch who refuses to admit that got wrong, even if I know it. On the other hand, when it comes to people that I care about and I don't want to lose, I force myself to say "i'm sorry" and give an explanation when I screw things up. With them, it happens sometimes to say "sorry" all the time, because I'm always afraid of doing something (little things) wrong. But, yeah, generally it's very difficult for me to apologize when it comes to serious matters.

 

[Monkey King]

No.

But people have EXTREME difficulty convincing me why I'm mistaken. When I'm wrong, I'm wrong, no biggy. When I'm right, I'm right. And when I'm right, you're better off asking for a compromise.

As for flaws, I keep track of every single one of them. One cannot fix something when one is unaware it's broken. ;P

P.S. I don't believe in apologizing for every mistake. I'd rather undo or fix the mistake than say "sorry."