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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've heard people say they feel sexy or something but I think it's just in their head. I mean people can find you sexiest when you don't feel sexy at all, when you're focused on your work, when you have your period, when you have a headache, when you come home dead tired.

Once a coworker and friend told me, sort of indirectly, that I looked kind of sexy that day, and I had not shaved, I was tired and sweaty, and I had body pain. It made no sense.

One thing is true though, if you feel sexy, you probably feel confident, feel the power of your sexuality. Like you own it, you expect people to find you hot. Just that sometimes that's either not enough or doesn't matter to others. Opinions?
 

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I've never felt sexy in my life :unsure: Honestly, I don't know what that means. I feel cute though :kitteh: I also have this idea in my head that everyone sees me as a non sexual being because I'm asexual but more often than not someone would make sexual advances towards me and pop that bubble. Every time someone finds me sexy it gets me by surprise. And then I would check my own body and think like "oh, yeah. My boobs are hanging out a bit more today" :laughing:
 

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Confident people find you sexy when you find yourself sexy. Insecure (most) people find you sexy when you're down on yourself, because they feel like they can take advantage and/or have the upper hand.

I've noticed that when I run around in sweatpants with my hair crazy feeling upset, people flock to me en masse wherever I go. I get a higher volume of people asking me out, but the quality of those people is way low. Meanwhile, when I run around with a smile on my face, nice clothes, makeup, walking confidently, etc. most people are intimidated by me, and the few people who find me attractive are the ones who are themselves happy and confident - often people I might otherwise consider out of my league.

I recently broke up with a boyfriend. For a month after, I was very upset and frantic, and I was wearing a lot of baggy clothes and had a perplexed look on my face. I got hit on by a waiter, a drug dealer, an alcoholic, and various other young insecure guys without much to offer. But a few weeks ago I got over the initial sadness and started feeling really happy, being more successful in my job, dressing well, feeling confident, etc. Suddenly I'm surrounded by wealthy, successful, confident and happy men and all the rest vanished.
 

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I recently had a huge transition in my life, where I let myself free to feel and express my sexuality (I had it repressed due to shame from past experiences). The difference in how others perceive me is amazingly big. All my friends and peers noticed how different I look and I do get more looks and reactions from strangers as well.
 

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I can see how the whole thing could be confirmation bias and self-fulfilling prophecy. Or straight up delusion (e.g. "I find myself sexy, therefore other people should too... look at the way that girl raised her eyebrow at me, she is so hitting on me because I'm feeling sexy and she noticed how hot I am").

I guess the bottom line is, if I'm feeling like I'm sexy or cute, then that's going to make me more confident in myself... which has the possibility of giving a better impression to people.
 

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I honestly don't know. But then again I wouldn't say I was attractive, even though others (females) have said I am.
 

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If my experience is anything to go by, people generally find me attractive when I feel my least attractive. I'm always looking a state and feeling off kilter when I meet someone. I've never had the experience of being all dressed up, feeling great and having others interested in me all at the same time.
 

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Yes.

Coming from a normally shy and unassuming person, when I "pretend" to be all smooth and suave jokingly around my friends/coworkers of the opposite sex, I notice they get slightly flustered.

How you conduct yourself can sway people's perceptions. I guess that's also where the "fake it 'till you make it" mentality comes from.
 
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I don't feel sexy so can't answer. Interesting, though.
 

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We have a girl at school.

All through middle she had self esteem issues. I am a close friend with her and she's been working really hard on confidence. Physically she has not changed since middle school and on a simply physical scale she's maybe a 6 despite a D cup and thin frame.

However she's been building this confidence and despite not looking any better I tell her frequently that she is one of the most attractive girls in the school and I am not one for lying.


She has an honest glow most days and can actually take my breath away on occasions which I rarely find that girls have that affect.

So feeling sexy, definitely makes you more sexy. However, it's important to keep those feelings inside. She's more confident but not once have I heard her bad mouth the way another girl looks or put someone down in comparison to herself.
 

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I seem to get more positive attention if I'm in a better frame of mind, since I tend to act friendlier. Probably makes sense.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I've never felt sexy in my life :unsure: Honestly, I don't know what that means. I feel cute though :kitteh: I also have this idea in my head that everyone sees me as a non sexual being because I'm asexual but more often than not someone would make sexual advances towards me and pop that bubble. Every time someone finds me sexy it gets me by surprise. And then I would check my own body and think like "oh, yeah. My boobs are hanging out a bit more today" :laughing:
Awwww, everybody should feel sexy in their life at least once...but it made me chuckle when you said you feel "cute", that's so...cute. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
fact: girls find me more attractive when I already have a girl I'm pursuing or with.
Pursuing? I thought only worked when you're with someone, not pursing. All hetero guys are pursuing someone or someones pretty much all the time. :p ;)
 

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I find women prettiest when we've just woken up, but women never feel pretty then. Pro tip, keep mouthwash on the night stand.

I actually dont find the dolled up look too attractive. I like when her hair is a mess and shes wearing comfy clothes, sweats.
 
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