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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey. I'm back with my problems. As the title suggests, I'm an ENTP and kinda struggling dealing with other people. I'm outgoing and will be eager to do anything I find interesting. People find it weird somehow. This trait of mine is now treated as a jest (not that I got offended of the matter).

Here's an example. I play basketball and volleyball with my friends. I'm also fond of battling with my friends via mainstream online games. Asking my friend to teach me sing is another thing on the list. Participating in some debate competitions is one of them too. I always take the opportunity to do any of this activity given the chance. But my friends would find it tedious (at least, some of them).

Changing a bit in order to cope was crossed out of the things I was planning to do. Why would I change for anybody? I'm kinda struggling though. Even with some ENTP friends, my drive to do things exceed theirs'. Given all of these, I feel out of place. Like I don't have a friend who could accompany me in doing all of these awesome things. I have 3 groups of friends. Each of them does various stuff. One would be playing sports, the other online games. I occasionally feel bad 'cause sometimes they think they're a second option.

Hope you got the gist of what I was trying to say.


(If you're in my friends' shoes, how would you deal with me? please state your type. Thanks!)
 

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Nothing wrong with having a few groups of friends. The more varied your interests, the less a chance that you'll find anybody that has the exact same interests and energy levels.

I personally bounce between extroverted and introverted friends, depending on the activity. Its all about playing to everyone's strengths and comfort level.
 

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I personally bounce between extroverted and introverted friends, depending on the activity. Its all about playing to everyone's strengths and comfort level.
I do the same thing. I hated it when my old friends used to drag me along to things they wanted to do that I wasn't into at all, so I would never ask someone to put themselves out that much for my sake. Granted, I am happy to do certain things on my own, and in fact I'm so used to going to things like gigs and dance classes by myself (no one else was interested) that it's weird to do it with others now.

As for dealing with ENTP's, I only know one (my SO) and he's been through a bit, so I believe he's done a bit more self-development than the average young ENTP. Socially he's ambiverted, so he doesn't need to be surrounded by friends when he's off doing his thing. However he does expect me to support his interests and hobbies (and does the same for me in return), and he is really pleased when he has a friend who wants to go do them with him. I actually find him easier than some other types: the Fe isn't strong enough to be suffocating, the high Ti means I can be blunt without fearing that he'll be offended, and the shared Ne/Si is wonderful too.

Downsides, well the flightiness (from my perspective) can be a bit annoying, and I don't have anywhere near the stamina for debate that he does. I do try to meet him halfway there, but in the back of my mind I'm always a bit worried that he's pulled back a bit too much for my sake. :-/ But I trust that he gets his fill of that from other people that he knows, and that he keeps me around for other reasons, heh. So to answer your question, I don't see myself as a second option if he chooses another friend to go do something instead of asking me. The only way I would feel left out is a) I had low self-esteem, or b) if he asked someone else to do something that he knew I liked, instead of asking me.

Type: INFP

Hope this helps! Sorry if it's too much text. XD
 

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Friendships take time and effort to maintain. If you don't take the time and effort to get to know your friends, treat them, listen to them, and share your vulnerability with them, they are going to be a lot less likely to consider you a "real" friend. The truth is that you do kind of have to make choices between doing what you want to do and maintaining your friendships. It all depends on your priorities-- is it worth it to sacrifice some of your time for stronger friendships?
 

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I don't think it's weird for having different circles of friends for different interests. If anything, it's more diverse and helps you grow.

That said, I have an ENTP friend and he took a LONG time for me to get used to. My first impression was that he was a try-hard. The wanted to be super cool, saying smart-ass outrageous sexual things to try and impress people. It was very hard to take him seriously because he was always joking around. So for me, yes it was hard dealing with an ENTP. I'm still trying to get used to him. I see him as the "life of the party" kind of guy, but not a serious enough dude to consider being a good friend.

I generally put up with him because we share a mutual best friend (INTJ).
 
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Wait, do people really take issue with you having multiple groups of friends? Isn't that a normal thing? I had a good ENTP friend in high school and I never felt like the second option when he decided to hang out with other people. Same with my ESTP best friend. If anything I appreciated that they weren't trying to force me to do something I didn't want to do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
"The more varied your interests, the less a chance that you'll find anybody that has the exact same interests and energy levels.". Ladies and Gentlemen, my problem in a nutshell. I always see people around me hanging out with the same circle in most of the things they do. Makes me question why is it I'm not in the same shoes? Kinda makes me feel a little jealous. And now that I think about it. I don't have any friend that does the same thing as I do.

With regards to treating some of circle of friends as a second option is just me over thinking. Hahaha. Thanks for the responses!
 

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I think you need to find yourself some new friends. ENTJ types!
 
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This is what wide circles of acquaintances are for. No human being can handle 100% of all 500 sides of me nor should I ever expect them to.
 

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Zeke, what you're experiencing is typical of ENTPs. We tend to have wide circles of acquaintances and a small group of people we are close to. This is because there are so many things that interest us, including people, that it's hard to stay with one or the other for long. You aren't treating your friends as second class -- you share one set of interests with one group and another set with another group. Your gamer friends would probably be bored silly by your interest in debate. Your debate friends probably don't care about sports. As an ENTP you see life as one big buffet with so many tasty goodies that you've just got to try them all. Even though steak is good, how boring would it be if all you ate was steak for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day of your life. None of your friends resent your interests in other things that they may not be into. If they do, to bad for them.

As for not having someone you can really be friends with -- someone to whom you really relate -- that will happen, probably when you least expect it. Consider befriending the quiet misfit sitting in the corner though; you might strike gold. And anyone who ranks on you because you have multiple interests -- make that multiple talents -- isn't worth the space in your head that their disapproval takes up. Let them be one dimensional if they choose. Your job is to be the best ENTP you can be.

Oh yeah... Come to the ENTP forum. We're waiting for you.
 

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I dont think they're difficult to deal with, it's just that sometimes their emotional detachment can give off an overly "eh whatever" vibe, and they also flake a lot which can get annoying. They're cool to talk to tho
 
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