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For INFPs: Do people online mistake you for the opposite gender?


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Cafe Legend and MOTM Jan 2011
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Discussion Starter #1
Is it normal for INFPs to be seen as so psychologically androgynous that people online can't tell which gender we are until they guess incorrectly and we tell them? If so, why do you suppose this happens? Is it because we ignore stereotypes in favor of authenticity? What about those of us who identify strongly with the gender we actually are, but still get mistaken for the opposite gender whenever we are in chat with strangers?
 

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Is it normal for INFPs to be seen as so psychologically androgynous that people online can't tell which gender we are until they guess incorrectly and we tell them? If so, why do you suppose this happens? Is it because we ignore stereotypes in favor of authenticity? What about those of us who identify strongly with the gender we actually are, but still get mistaken for the opposite gender whenever we are in chat with strangers?
I don't believe it is normal for INFPS unless you present yourself abnormally. It always depends on how you present yourself online. Obviously your name "snail" is very neutral for both sex's and your avatar can also be mistaken as a male's drawing.

However, we infps do ignore stereotypes out of authenticity. In the real world, I dress like I am an extroverted person. No one would ever guess that I had an INFP personality. So generally our minds are set on visualization which in turn will cause us to consider what society has deemed "normal."

Lets say you are a male whose named Jesse and your avatar has "pink" content on it. Wouldn't you think it's normal for others to consider you a girl?
 

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I knew right away that snail was a girl. It's quite obviously a girl dragon. Note the pointed eyes, seductive look and the femmy horns. Oh yes and the little female symbol helped me confirm later.
 

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"Is it normal for INFPs to be seen as so psychologically androgynous that people online can't tell which gender we are until they guess incorrectly and we tell them? If so, why do you suppose this happens? Is it because we ignore stereotypes in favor of authenticity? What about those of us who identify strongly with the gender we actually are, but still get mistaken for the opposite gender whenever we are in chat with strangers?"

Sometimes, even in Facebook and other Internet accounts where my image is present. In few forums with no possibility to show gender in profile, then also yeah, people tend to think i'm female person, but that's not a issue that i really mind about. As general for INFPs, our personality type (private, quiet, socially cautious, very feeling, ability to compromise etc.) is typically one that is easily thought as cliché 'femine' by modern western cultural standards, therefore i wouldn't be actually surprised that people who tend to think and feel as femine way, also would write in femine way, and be misunderstood for females.
 

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Cafe Legend and MOTM Jan 2011
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Discussion Starter #6
That's what I would expect. I would think that male INFPs would be more likely to be mistaken for females. That's why it blows my mind every time someone automatically assumes that I am a male when I am online.
 

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well, you do have a huge bias to fight against because the internet and computers are such "nerdy guy" domains. Without the genders shown, here, I think I would have just assumed everyone was a guy by default until they mentioned otherwise, too.
 

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I'm not an infp obviously, but I felt compelled to read this anyway. Ever since I first started communicating with people online, I have been pegged as male. I'm not. I started purposely trying to use more feminized names to avoid this misunderstanding.
 

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MOTM Nov 2009
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In the same vein as Promethea, I do experience this phenomenon as well, even on this site. If the internet had the say in the real world, I would be a 28 year old man.
 

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In the same vein as Promethea, I do experience this phenomenon as well, even on this site. If the internet had the say in the real world, I would be a 28 year old man.
ooh when I was reading around some, and saw your posts.. for some reason I thought you were a guy at first too Grey :crazy: sorry!
 

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MOTM Dec 2011
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well, you do have a huge bias to fight against because the internet and computers are such "nerdy guy" domains. Without the genders shown, here, I think I would have just assumed everyone was a guy by default until they mentioned otherwise, too.
Um...maybe that was true 15 years ago, but everyone and their mom is online now.

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I have never been mistaken for a man online. My screen names, avatars, and general posting style seem to register as female to everyone. I am petty feminine in person also, although not a stereotypical woman (who is?). I don't get the "INFP androgyny" thing at all....

The only time I confuse people is when they have an avatar of the opposite sex, a gender neutral name, and their posts give no indication of their sex. NF men usually seem more feminine in that case, and NT women seem more masculine. It's rare that SJs and SPs even use avatars/names that are not clear. This site makes it easy, with the gender displayed below the avatar.
 

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I only had one girl think I was a girl. We were friends and I was talking about a girl I liked and whatever. I guess the way I talked through text made her think I was lesbian or something. I'm not gay either btw in case anyone thought that. :)
 

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My vehicle is INFP, 9w8. Vroom vroom!!
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People think I'm a boy when they see my super awesome Captain Kirk avatar. Does that count?
 

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I used to be confused for a girl when my name was "My Boyfriend" in League of Legends.
 

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INFP 5w6
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only a few times, but then I usually probably have a name that signal what I am, or like here the little circle cross etc. So not sure what would happen otherwise, but I think probably more often than not people would guess I am a woman. When not I think it is just that they went on the little info, like a name that sounded slightly more masculine perhaps, or that there were more men in the place, so probability made them think so.
 
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