[AliSquirrel]

My three best friends and my sister are all ENFPs. I love them more than anything and they are the most fun people. But they all seem to get randomly and suddenly hated by people they thought were their friends. Does this happen to other ENFPs? If so, why do you think?

 

[Danse Macabre]

What the hell? That's never happened to me. It sounds pretty odd because ENFPs generally aren't hated.. people think we're weird/uncool/freaks but we never really give people any reason to hate us because most people know that we're quite harmless.

So I'm confused and interested to see what everyone else thinks...

 

[viva]

YES ACTUALLY.

Mostly by INTJs.

 

[Finaille]

I occasionally get the same response. While ENFPs are very friendly and most people enjoy their presence, here are the things I've heard from others that are reasons why ENFPs annoy the heck out of them.

1. Too energetic and friendly. Sometimes the whole happy-go-lucky thing can get old.
2. Stereotyping. Generally ENFPs are versatile and try many new things. There are certain people who 'choose' to dislike a person because they partake in activity or are friends with somebody else they don't agree with.
3. Perfectionists. I have been told sometimes I try 'too' hard and get too competitive with others, and that's annoying. I'm constantly asking 'is this good enough?' or 'how did you do on this? Really? I did _____' and I've finally been told this gets on people's nerves. Luckily I've been working on this.

It's nice to know somebody made a comment on this. I definitely could agree with your statement.

 

[pinkrasputin]

YES ACTUALLY.

Mostly by INTJs.

What? You're kidding, right? This I can't relate to at all.

Neither can I relate to the thread. But as an idealist, I tend to focus on the more positive traits in people and healthy things in life. I wouldn't spend too much time focusing on or noticing the people that would hate me all of a sudden.And I really haven't experienced it. People pretty much like me.

But I have experienced other people's projection at times which led them to misunderstand me. But even then, I live my life according to my values, and as long as those are in line, I wouldn't feel I had given anyone reason to hate me. I'd see it more as their problem. And when that happens, I'll either clear the air if their worth it, or distance myself from them.

 

[GrannyWeatherwax]

I have a good friend whom I suspect is an ENFP.
He's awesome, really kind and funny and loyal.
But in school he was often bullied around by people who just seemed to really dislike him.
This also happened when he was in the military.
I don't know what their problem was....

 

[Nidenel]

I have had some odd initial reactions where people didn't like me at first. I know this because after we became good friends and they told about this. So it all worked about. But deep residing hate no. I honestly have never really hated one person in my life and I don't think any has hated me. But if I never became good friends with that person maybe there impression could have been a negative one. Since we tend to talk a lot, and relate things to our selves we may come off as self centered, although we are only trying to relate with the person.


Although....


Twice I got punched randomly walking down the street by a girl. The incidents were very odd and separated by about a year. Both times a girl just punched me is my upper chest/ shoulder. But I was just walking by and they were walking the other way... it seems very random. But the second time it happened i was very shocked since it happened before.

 

[Aiam]

Yep, it's happened to me. On one occasion I sussed out the context, and then it made sense, but on the others, it did seem to come out of nowhere.

 

[Everyday Ghoul]

I hate all of you! Nah, I'm only kidding. You're a fine group. I still remember when I tried to include myself in with you lot. Then I figured out being a feeler primarily involved ethics, and that idea flew out the window and became rather laughable. The last career I gave some consideration to was Evangelical preacher, and I'm an atheist. I doubt I need to say anything more about my code of ethics, than that. lol Anyway, I can't really imagine anyone just outright hating an ENFP, unless it was out of envy. Now, ENFP's coming to randomly hate me, might be another story. I was quite close to someone I was fairly certain was an ENFP, and she just kinda threw me out of her life. Well, typical of my interaction with heavy Fi users, she just magically ignored me, as opposed to actually explaining anything or confronting me. I'm going to assume it was my actions with someone else I was close to, that made her weary of me and bail. I still like you guys, as a group, though. I'll even give you the little <3 symbol. lol

 

[pinkrasputin]

Hmm... there are so many layers to that post ^^^. But I'm not going to touch it.

Sometimes I magically ignore yet have nothing to confront anyone about. There is nothing personal, I'm just a flake. So I guess I do give some people reason to hate me.

 

[Everyday Ghoul]

Eh hell, not to derail this thread much more, but maybe she just moved on and I'm reading things into it. I mean, she didn't really care for the other person, and considering she was somewhat of an ex, and I may have somewhat cheated on her, and she maintained the friendship after that, I'm almost certainly reading too much into it. Her timing just happened to be perfect, as it coincided with that whole ordeal, and came when about two or three other people decided, that they wanted nothing more to do with me, over that event. I have no ill feelings towards her or towards you guys/gals because of it. It's just a blow to the ego, when I find out, that I'm just as replaceable as everyone generally is to me. lol By god, no one is supposed to forget me! I expend a great deal of effort trying to be an impressive person! I just generally forget to care whether that impression is positive or negative. lol

 

[Shine]

I think I'm just "too much" for certain people. When people hate me it's usually not because something I've done to them or how I've treated them, it's more so like "he's fucking annoying, I don't like him." I experienced this a little bit in high school. I was the class clown. I was always making jokes and doing silly shit. People either loved me and found my silliness hilarious or they thought I was annoying and couldn't stand me. As I've gotten older I've toned it down a bit.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Examine your hypocrisies and see if they could cause it. Other than that, I don't understand the ups and downs of "like". I can smell disapproval.

 

[nikkigargin]

Yeh i have experienced this somewhat. in this, and in reverse! i have had a heap of people hate me, then as they got to know me they really liked me! i have had friends who i have been really close to..then just turn against me and start trying to pick on me. im not 100% sure why.. a few i know the reasons, but a couple still baffle me. i think some of it can be jealousy, because underneath my joking and kindness...really is just kindness to be honest, and i think some people cant bare to be around people who are happy in their own skin, thye want friends who feels as shit as they do in there miserable lives. and some because they get this impression i am bitch (from my jokes and humour) and then realise i have a big heart and decide rather than be a bitch with me, they will be one to me. i have had a few that used to be really shy and insecure, and now there really confident etc they try and bully me..god knows why! maybe they felt i once bullied them?

and there has been the plan nasties..in which there being mean to me is not personal..they just gotta do it to someone.

but i also have a heap of long term friends of years and years. so its all a mix really.

 

[Linnifae]

People seem to either love me or hate me. Thankfully more love...but yeah I've definitely had my fair share of hate. I get less of it now that I'm quieter than I used to be, but back in my teen years I was incredibly outspoken and people didn't like that. The lack of filter that goes along with the A.D.D, I suppose. I always had a lot of friends but bullying was very common in my life too.

 

[MissyMaroon]

Eh, never gave anyone a reason to hate me. I'm sure I've been disliked on more than a few occasions before, but, really, I'm harmless. I've had my share of clashes (primarily involving standing up for what I believe to be true), but if there's anyone who hates me then I don't know about it.

 

[chickydoda]

I'm sure theres always a reason behind it... why would someone randomly hate someone? Too much wasted energy I think. Heaps of people hate me, but I think its mostly mutual. I too got bullied heaps in highschool.

 

[The Roving ENFP]

people think we're weird/uncool/freaks but we never really give people any reason to hate us because most people know that we're quite harmless

Perhaps that is just it. It's a matter of perspective. Perhaps that particular ENFP feels like they are ripped on too much, thus making them feel hated. :tongue:

YES ACTUALLY.

Mostly by INTJs.

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahahaaaa... *breathes* hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah *Breathes* hahaaahahahahahahahhaaaaahahahhahhahhahahahahahahahahahaahhahhahahhaaahhahaahahahahahhahahahhahaaaa.. *breathes*...

Ok, INTJs aren't selective of who they hate, they hate everyone equally.. Their way of showing love is interesting, I suppose that is what perplexes ENFPs so much.. Ahh.. It's awesome..

 

[MuChApArAdOx]

What? You're kidding, right? This I can't relate to at all.

Nope , neither can i, totally foreign to me.

Back to topic. I'm sure people have disliked me for some reason or another, hate, well its a strong word in my books, i don't know, perhaps. I never make it my business or problem if they do, Their problem, not mine.

 

[hoom]

Ok, INTJs aren't selective of who they hate, they hate everyone equally.. Their way of showing love is interesting, I suppose that is what perplexes ENFPs so much.. Ahh.. It's awesome..

That's just not at all true.... we're very selective.... just because we hate lots of people doesn't mean we hate indiscriminately...... no... there's always a reason. I would agree with the latter portion of that comment though... if it actively looks like we don't hate you, there's a decent chance that we more than like you.... if you're of opposite gender anyway... and especially if you're ENFP. Of course, there's definitely a space in between those extremes too..... easily observable though.