Do people tend to cling to you? what is your definition of being too clingy?
[ISTP]
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I think the ISTP personality naturally draws people to us. Let's face it...we kick ass.
Generally speaking, I don't mind people getting close to me. In fact I welcome it. Close friends are of very high value to me.
Problems of 'clingyness' arise when people expect me to always spend time with them at every beck and call. I value personal space, and others need to understand that. When I back off from relationships 9/10 it's because I need space, not because I find a person to be flawed.
On the other hand, some people are just too clingy. These would be the one's who ask or even try and manipulate me into talking about my feelings. Which is very offputting. When I trust you, and i'm ready, you'll get to see them. But push me and that could end our relationship/friendship.
But you are INFJ, and you guys rock my world! An INFJ friend of mine came to learn 'the boundries' very quickly, and as such we get along just fine. Give an ISTP personal space and respect his/her privacy of feelings and you usually can't go far wrong.
Hope that helps. :wink:
Generally speaking, I don't mind people getting close to me. In fact I welcome it. Close friends are of very high value to me.
Problems of 'clingyness' arise when people expect me to always spend time with them at every beck and call. I value personal space, and others need to understand that. When I back off from relationships 9/10 it's because I need space, not because I find a person to be flawed.
On the other hand, some people are just too clingy. These would be the one's who ask or even try and manipulate me into talking about my feelings. Which is very offputting. When I trust you, and i'm ready, you'll get to see them. But push me and that could end our relationship/friendship.
But you are INFJ, and you guys rock my world! An INFJ friend of mine came to learn 'the boundries' very quickly, and as such we get along just fine. Give an ISTP personal space and respect his/her privacy of feelings and you usually can't go far wrong.
Hope that helps. :wink:
Same for point 1! I'm naturally quite 'stand-off-ish' so people stay away from me. Some people comment that when when they first saw me, it felt like I had this invisible wall around me. LOL. But I don't mind it at all - in fact, the more people stay away and give me my space, the better! There is only so much interaction I can take in a day.
Don't know about 'drawing people' LOL I seem to have the effect of a human-repellent. Which suits me fine.I have close friends but I'm very selective about these. It's a time-tested close circle.
Completely agree with your para 2 - I absolutely detest people who try hard to get into my head. I react by shutting them out tightly. I find it offensive and invasive.
Okay, yeah I can see how that was exaggerated. For the most part ISTP's can repel others quite frequently.
Back to the topic in hand. Yes, I find people to be a little clingy at times. sometimes I guess that's because once the 'book of me' is opened, then a whole different side of me is made known...
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no, I don't think people cling to me at all. I think people can get needy at times, but not really clingy. My definition of clingy is when a person follows me around, wanting me to interact with them all the time. Or when a person invades my space simply because they need to be around me. That doesn't happen...oh wait, yes it does! My kids cling to me all the time. But that is to be expected because they are 21 months and 4. A clingy adult is really a sad case not to mention a pain in the ass.
A person is too clingy when he or she wants to spend time (as, eat lunch or such) every day, asks me to make all the decisions (like when to go, where to walk, where to eat), keeps telling me stuff I am not so interested in (as "the girl I am in love with told me .... and I feel bad because ..." or random data that has no connection to anything) and doesn't go away when I tell him/her to. A person is horribly irritating if he or she does all the above and never ever listens or even wants to listen to what I would have to say.
Basically a person is too clingy when he or she doesn't understand to leave me alone when I tell him/her to. In fact they'd rather leave before I need to actually tell them that..
Basically a person is too clingy when he or she doesn't understand to leave me alone when I tell him/her to. In fact they'd rather leave before I need to actually tell them that..
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I'm drawn to ISTPs because I know that they can stand on their own two feet. It works out pretty well. They get their own space to do their own thing, I get my own space to mingle with more people. (This didn't work so well with this new ISFJ friend I have...who expects me to be with her 24/7.)
They do tend to be aloof, but when they're up to going out, they certainly do make up for lost time. :wink:
They do tend to be aloof, but when they're up to going out, they certainly do make up for lost time. :wink:
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I'm one of those people-repellents, so I don't have much experience with it, but I think of it as not having a life outside of another person and getting upset because they have one outside of you. It is always a sign of immaturity, insecurity, low self-esteem, and/or narcissism.
I feel clingy around my ISTP husband, but he seems to like it! It's bizzare to me because when I dated an ENxJ and he was really clingy and it pissed me off, so I can't understand why he finds it so endearing. I wonder if there's always a "clingy one" in relationships?
Yes they do; that's one of the reasons why I keep a safe distance away from them.
Clingy people are the ones who think you want to be their friend just because you talked to them once or twice. They start calling you on the phone and showing up at your house uninvited. It can get out of hand very quickly. I've had my share of problems with people like this, and it was bad all round.
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I find that the average person that just clings onto random people is either a user (ie: people, not drugs), a loser, or a flat out thief.
In relationships, my wife can be a Stage 4 clinger at times. She'll follow me around the house or yard, sit right next to me, literally hang off of me at times, and otherwise smother my personal space. She's usually in "goofy girl" mode at the same time, where even small compliments make her blush and giggle. It can be both annoying and cute, depending on how grumpy I am at the time. More often than not, I find it cute and endearing.
In relationships, my wife can be a Stage 4 clinger at times. She'll follow me around the house or yard, sit right next to me, literally hang off of me at times, and otherwise smother my personal space. She's usually in "goofy girl" mode at the same time, where even small compliments make her blush and giggle. It can be both annoying and cute, depending on how grumpy I am at the time. More often than not, I find it cute and endearing.
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Hmm, I've never really thought about it. I suppose if I were in a relationship:
1 phone call per day is permitted.
3 days of no contact per week is a necessity.
But no, people don't cling to me except INFJ's because I'm not very approachable. Idunno wtf is wrong with the INFJ's haha.
1 phone call per day is permitted.
3 days of no contact per week is a necessity.
But no, people don't cling to me except INFJ's because I'm not very approachable. Idunno wtf is wrong with the INFJ's haha.
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I would have to agree with you, ISTP tend to be constant observers and from what Ive seen and from what others have told me we can apear unaproachable or pensive. Yet when we put on the social face people are drawn to us, however this takes a lot of energy out of me personally, and I would imagine so for others.
wow, after reading all of the comments I really think it's really great to have a close ISTP friend. you guys don't just open up to anyone. I feel so lucky:laughing: I'm an ENFJ but really treasure my ISTP friend. I learn a lot of stuff from her.we think so differently! but I also find myself controlling my emotions in order to not overwhelm her:crazy:
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