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No matter how much I "recharge," I feel drained 30 minutes into any social interactions. Whether it's one-on-one in an isolated room or one-on-one in a crowded place; whether in a required, somewhat-structured, social meeting (for work) or in an unstructured social gathering; whether I'm in a crowd of people I know or I'm in a different place, with a crowd of people i don't know yet. I. GET. DRAINED.

I realize that there's a lot of things going on -- probably sensory overload. And then as an INFJ, I feel that I start becoming very aware of other's presence in the room, even if I'm not looking. I can just feel the people, and I start wondering about their lives, and I start empathizing and feeling some kind of connection. I try not to, but I always do this instinctively. It's hard for my brain to shut off the presence of other people. So even when I'm with people I don't know and I don't necessarily interact a lot with them, I get so drained.

And then, after an intense social interaction, it takes me at least a good week to recover for my next one. An intense social interaction = prolonged time socializing or with someone. I feel like these days, I'd be completely alright going for days or weeks without interacting with anyone. and it gets harder and harder for each upcoming interaction.

Are there any techniques I can do to reserve my energy? I feel like I start off with a full bathtub, and as soon as a social interaction starts, it's like someone has pulled the drain/clog thing and the water (energy) starts draining out. :(
 

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I try to do all my flirting before I get drained.

It's that narrow INFJ window of oppertunity. How do I cope? eh... I sit in the corner and sip my drink. If my drink tastes like piss... then I'm out of luck and I just have to people watch.

Some people... (Whether they can recognize I drained, or just know me personally) see me in the corner with my INFJ-look and we can have a calm... non-superficial conversation... like water in an oasis.
 

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is this bad... i recommend drinking?

if drinking then start conversations randomly as you see fit. i have had great convos starting out with 'i hate parties... but...'

and if no drinking, then go hardcore extravert until you tire. then gather numbers and leave.

rinse and repeat!
 

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is this bad... i recommend drinking?

if drinking then start conversations randomly as you see fit. i have had great convos starting out with 'i hate parties... but...'

and if no drinking, then go hardcore extravert until you tire. then gather numbers and leave.

rinse and repeat!
No seriously run away. I find that helps. Then a large "white russian drink"
 

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it all depends on my internal states wether I am drained or not.

sometimes the group is just too large.
I like taking over small groups of people I know intimatly. I can understand others quite quickly if need be.

I often get drained in social interactions because I am NOT doing anything. trying to be all quiet like in fear of my own reactions and resonses to events drains me.
I would rather be involved with the rest of the group. typically I take over and just be like. ok. this is whats going down with me and here is how it affects you.

strangly enough when I get like this with people or small groups people get kinda horny. lol.
I guess the prospects of a brighter future makes people want to do it. :)
 

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Yea im fine until there's a group like more than 3people. Everytime someone says something and replies I analyze both their responses and intentions.
I feel pressured to talk and join in the conversation because just being there all silent is weird but I have nothing to say- i'd rather listen and observe.
The constant talking in a group just makes me want to withdrawal more.
(An exception is if im around other introvert feelers.)
I do what I can to avoid being out in groups, a lot of the time that means isolation. whatever it works :]
 

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Do something fun, play pool or invent some game to play. (throwing paper balls in the bin, building card houses, ... anything you can think of like word games for example, as long as it's different from regular conversation)
 

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I avoid large social occasions, and limit my socialising to manageable chunks.

At large parties I try and find some who looks somewhat lack lustre, and talk/stand with them. I also do the very slow sipping of the drink, as if it is some sort of alibi not to be joining in.

If it's too much I drift into the garden or some other quirt place for a little while, strolling in and out of the action. As if surfacing from unde water to grab a lungful of air, before driving back in...or if it is really bad, say I feel sick and leave early.

I used to do a lot of clubs, I liked the idea of scheduled interaction which only lasted an hour once a week. I could get all extroverted and have fun, then go home and recharge in my room, knowing I wasn't expected to do anything beyond that hour of fun. I came to really look foward to that sort of thing, as it was controled, I shared an interest with everyone, and I knew what to expect.

Normally though, I have a select inner circle of people who I can not only tolerate being around for extended periods, but enjoy doing so. I suggest you invest in some of these. They are hard to find, but very worthwhile.

Three-four people is good, I’d say two is the optimum for me, five can be pushing it but not with the right people.
 

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Instead of viewing these social interactions as "intense", like something you'll try your best to get through but will still feel deeply drained, view them as things which will enhance the quality of your life. Somehow, someway, make whatever stressful situation you encounter just as an opportunity for you to apply these interactions to be personally meaningful. That's what I've found whenever I'm trying to learn something I don't enjoy. I look at it from an outside third point of view and dig inside myself to find a reason how it could be in some form be applicable to an aspect of my life. Even the tiniest excuse will actually make it more legitimate in your mind.

Another thing you could do is, after you've finished the intense interaction with the people around you, ask them what they know about introversion and extroversion. Ask them what they are and if they can relate to your current situation and any tips. Perhaps if they are more aware of the fact that you feel seriously drained from these interactions it will help both you and them to be more relaxed around each other and be able to understand where you're coming from.
 
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