do u have a dark mind as an INFP?

Yeees. In my daily normal interaction with people I think I'm like the nicest guy I know, however what it is in my mind is something very different. I could write a very loooong post about this but I have to do it quickly:sad:. I love dark, melancholic or every disturbing feeling that passes through my mind and gives me some chills. As long as I remember, when playing video games I always chose the strange or evil character. In all the series, I always felt an attraction for the evil guy too, but not the stupid barbarian guy, only when he had something macabre, psychotic or "elegant", I don't know how to describe it very well. I love when feelings are like "mixed" or "confused" too, like when I don't know if I am supposed to feel happy or sad when listening to the part of a song or when I'm watching something that is cute and gory at the same time and I am like: "Oh, I don't if this is good or bad, but I feel that I'm understanding emotions far beyond stereotypical thougts of normal people". As I said in another thread, I think that the idealistic part of an INFP is much more than "make this world a better place", at least not in a too direct and simple form where we saw the world 'through rose tinted glasses' and we only wanted to think about little fluffy bunnies, but much more about "understanding the truth in this life and its true emotionality". I think we can experiment some things in their genuine form and with much more intensity than others.

I definitely see life through rose coloured glasses, and I always have. But romance is a dark and tragic thing. You trip and you fall and fall and fall and then you hit the ground. Blood splatters everywhere and you lay there, alone and helpless and hurt, pain coursing and pulsating through your body with every beat of your heart, stinging and burning. You can't get up on your own so you just continue to lay, every bone in your body broken and smashed and shattered. And then someone comes and helps you up and heals you back to normal. Now, ideally, that should be it, it just keeps getting better from there, right? But most of the time you either push them off a cliff, or they push you. And then there's more falling.

That is beautiful.

Dark is fascinating. We don't want darkness in our lives but we love it in others. We're all selfish sadists. But it's who we are. One of the reasons we help is so we can ease our own guilt at enjoying it. But it's not the drama that we enjoy. No, it's something much crueler. It's pain showing with silent tears, a small twitch of the fingers we notice through the corner of our eye, and the cracking of the voice when they're not really okay.

My rose coloured glasses are cracked and coated with blood.