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There are hardly any ESFJs here. Screw it, none. And because of that....well....this part of the forum is just for us to bitch about ESFJs isn't it? :crazy:

I wonder if all the countless threads of ESFJ hate is scaring all of the ESFJs away, or that ESFJs just don't come onto the Internet. Furthermore, I haven't seen a single ESFJ coming out to defend their ESFJ-ness.

I don't know about you, but I find that thought highly amusing. :tongue:

And my mom was out-raged when I sent her this forum through e-mail. :shocked:

She called all of you self-centered and disrespectful. She says that people like me don't deserve any rights. She also says that she hates you guys view of society.:shocked:

Anyway, the only reason why I'm using the shocked smiley is because my sarcasm meter is exploding right now.

And don't mind me....it's just one of those random observations and mindless blabbering....
 

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That's hilarious. :crazy:

I showed my ESFJ mum some thread about annoying ESFJs when she overstayed her visit, and she told me that this site should be banned, that we're encouraging heartless, irresponsible and weird behavior. (And to her, "weird" is to be avoided like the plague.)

She doesn't fully comprehend MBTI or the fact that she's an ESFJ, but the fact that the thread hit such a nerve confirmed it. :laughing:

No offense to any registered ESFJs. You guys need to stick around more and defend yourselves. :wink:
 

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I joined last night. I have to say I was pretty upset going into this forum. I was excited to be able to talk to fellow ESFJs like in the other forums for other types. But all I see here is people bitching about their overbearing, domineering ESFJ mothers. Its a bit disheartening. Now I am not a mother myself so I don't really care that much, but its sad to see all of this bitching.

I haven't ever been called a bitch, controlling, or domineering before, so there are ESFJs out there that don't fit the mold that you all have set up.
 

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If people come to troll then argue with them a little and contact the administrators for a ban of a sorts for the trolling. Sometimes people must learn from experience, and setting an example or precedents is a good route to take.

Past a quick response follow the sign:
 

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ESFJ aren't as bad as everyone makes them out to be. Seriously, they get a horrible time. My mom and some relatives are ESFJ, and while yes, sometimes they annoy me, and yes, sometimes I don't agree with them, they are still people and we shouldn't be so harsh. My mom is an ESFJ and she is a very good person.

Welcome to the forum, Slightly Flawed. :happy:
 

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I think ESFJ's get more hate on PerC than any other type...ESTJ's are up there as well, but it's not quite as bad with them, I don't think.


I think there are a number of reasons for this. First, as has been mentioned, for whatever reason, there just aren't many ESFJ's on PerC.

But I also think there are some other things. In general, SJ's get more hate than any other temperament on here. I don't know if it's because of the potentially high number of SJ's in real society, but a lot of people on PerC, especially N's, seem to have encountered some parent, boss, teacher, or other authority figure who's an SJ and feels suffocated by their structure and rules.

IN's in particular seem to be frustrated by this, and that kind of makes sense on a forum like this...forums and the internet are appealing to introverts, and the whole type theory thing appeals to N's in particular.

So ESJ's seem to get the most hate because they're SJ's, and their extroversion makes them come across as more overbearing than ISJ's in real life (or at least in some cases). In addition, a lot of the IN's on here can at least relate to ISJ's in terms of being introverts.


So I think that's the way you have to look at it....on a forum like this, IN's are more represented, and in real life, ESJ's are probably more represented. I view the SJ hate in general as people blowing off steam. I always hope that PerC gives people an opportunity to see all of the strengths in the differences that other types have to offer, once people get past their frustrations.
 

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^ Agreed. I think a lot of people just get suffocated or boxed in by unhealthy SJs, so they just lose their temper and bitch...on here. lol

I do that too, mainly because my mother, but I think her problems stem more out of mental illness than the fact that she's an ESFJ. I've known plenty of healthy ESFJs. While I don't think I'd ever be best friends with them, there's no hate, just cordiality.
 

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Welcome to the forum, Slightly Flawed. :happy:

Thanks!

I see your points about why people complain about ESFJs. It makes sense. Hopefully being on here will help people see that we are people too! :)

Its kind of ironic, though. People on here complain about ESFJs and yet we usually are so overly concerned about how people view us that those complaints probably end up making us stay away from this forum because we are easily upset.
 

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I don't get this apparent dislike of ESFJs. My sister must not be a very stereotypical one, or I'm probably biased as she is my sister.
 

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Thanks!

I see your points about why people complain about ESFJs. It makes sense. Hopefully being on here will help people see that we are people too! :)

Its kind of ironic, though. People on here complain about ESFJs and yet we usually are so overly concerned about how people view us that those complaints probably end up making us stay away from this forum because we are easily upset.
Yes! I want you to stay!

My ESFJ sister wasn't happy at all with the ESFJ part of the forum either..
 

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I was wondering about this as well and it even made me question my type because it made me feel like the popular cheerleader type that made fun of the nerd for some reason (I was the nerd except I got mediocre grades in most subjects) I also wonder sometimes if the personality descriptions are a picture of an extreme ESFJ, very few people are extreme (fill in the type) I think most of us have a strong letter and a weak letter at the very least. I think that is what allows for variances in the same type, the strength of your preferences. and yes, strong Fe types like myself get our feelings hurt easily and probably wouldn't hang out in a place that made them feel bad about themselves. also, although I can't relate, I read that ESFJ's are more likely living life than hanging out on a forum. I don't know if that is true, it certainly isn't of me, but that is what I heard.
 

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My mother is also an ESFJ (I see a pattern) who drives me up the wall however she is very kind to people she makes me laugh and she has always helped me out. with that being said I don't hate her, but I think we tend to be frustrated with ESFJ because they seem to treat their children (mainly daughters) different than people outside of the immediate family which to me tends to come off as fake, but after discovering MBTI I understand her a little better and have more patience with her (my INTJ sister does not) the end.
 

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I came on this forum first, to get a better idea of ESFJs and their point of view....and then secondly to bitch about my horrible relationship with an ESFJ. :)
 

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I haven't ever been called a bitch, controlling, or domineering before, so there are ESFJs out there that don't fit the mold that you all have set up.
true, but there are an awful lot who are (my mother for starters...)!
 

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I think we tend to be frustrated with ESFJ because they seem to treat their children (mainly daughters) different than people outside of the immediate family which to me tends to come off as fake
I hadn't thought of it as a type-wide thing...is that common for ESFJs? I've noticed that the one I know treats people she doesn't know very well (usually, of course, like anyone else), but the closer she is to them, the worse she treats them.
Why is that?
 

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Wow! I never realized that us ESFJ's had so......... many haters, lol!! I find this thread to be quite interesting. I like my personality type very much!! I get compliments on my personality all the time:) Honestly I can be a bitch but I don't let that control all of my actions or how I treat people who don't deserve it. I try to be very helpful but I know there are boundaries, so I try not to be overbearing. I am a very caring person but that doesn't mean I will ever let someone try to manipulate, control or speak down to me....... Any of these actions will get you a bitchy response in a heart beat!!
 
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