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So I've been reading a ''Psychologies magazine'' UK edition.. And I've read some very good stuff about focusing on the present/being more moderate when we adjust to the abstract concept of happiness..

(From the magazine)

' There's always someone telling you to be better organised, but it's yourself you need to work on' says Salecel. 'Obsession with order is a painful symptom: it creates the feeling of guilt. Creative chaos is good'

Renouncing our claim on the trappings of an apparently successful life (even more stuff, the latest techno toys, fast cars, faster friends) doesn't mean we have to aim for a sort of Buddhist self denial. Making choices and finding limits are key to our understanding of what we really need'


(My comment)
Yes, I think we need to detach ourselves from being trapped by certain imaginary and real expectations when they only pull our minds down further in the long run.

(From the magazine)
'You have to detach yourself from social pressure, stop comparing yourself with other people, and that requires some effort. Later on, self-moderation makes life easier. You stop searching, leave the rat race, and stop wanting to replace every fulfilled dream with a new one. Moderation is dangerous if it makes you limit your opportunities and blame yourself, or if it stops you doing anything spontaneous. Taken too far, it means retreating into yourself. In a society that only dreams small, there's less innovation, less aspiration....But dreaming small is still dreaming'

(My comment)
I'm at a point of my life of which I don't want to settle for less. At the same time, I know I have to be moderate. But I don't like it if my fear becomes the motivator for moderation (Urgh, I want courage so badly, desperately like you wouldn't believe). I'd like that I use the idea of moderation to get away from pressures that shouldn't be here though.

(From the magazine)
'Why does focusing on the present simplify things?... Think about arguments you may have had with your partner: frequently we fight about things dredged up from the past, or put too much pressure on each other by projecting an ideal future. If you want to feel calm, tell yourself: I've considered the past- how I experienced it - and thought about the future - how I'd like it to be-but what can I do, say or think here and now?'

'..We get so trapped in expectations we make no choices at all, or we expect something to be fabulous and when it's not, we spiral into despair. Having no expectations is not the same as having low expectations. That's just negativity or cynicism..'

(My comment)

I suppose going backward too much or going forward too fast can be somewhat a point of pure insanity.

It's important for someone like me, who suffers from bouts of fear, to remember living in the present moment from time to time. I tend to worry about everything that might go wrong, and worry what if I am unconsciously not letting the past go as much as I want to.

I hate the idea of being trapped in expectations, I'm longing to be even more independent each day and to let go of pains relating to trauma, paranoia that might be imaginary.
 
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