Personality Cafe banner
1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
217 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've had this experience when the same word (like "convince" or "think") meant different things to me and someone else. I blame it on my abstract usage of words, but I wonder if its a common experience among INTPs.
 

·
Not a Robot
Joined
·
2,152 Posts
I've noticed this more and more in recent years. For me, it isn't so much that my word usage is abstract, as it is precise. There are specific words for very specific instances. For example, I see irritated, annoyed and agitated as three different words for three different feelings, but others will use them interchangeably. This means when someone says they're irritated, I'll believe they mean a certain feeling that I identify as irritation, but that may not be it at all. Conversely, if I'm feeling agitated, people treat it as if it is just a mild annoyance. This irritates me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
217 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I've noticed this more and more in recent years. For me, it isn't so much that my word usage is abstract, as it is precise. There are specific words for very specific instances. For example, I see irritated, annoyed and agitated as three different words for three different feelings, but others will use them interchangeably. This means when someone says they're irritated, I'll believe they mean a certain feeling that I identify as irritation, but that may not be it at all. Conversely, if I'm feeling agitated, people treat it as if it is just a mild annoyance. This irritates me.
Exactly, abstract and precise, both priorities have often led to much confusion and relationship problems for me. It'll be great to hear if others have similar experiences.

To me "to convince someone" implies providing someone with information so the person internally and voluntarily arrives at the conclusion I was hoping for. To others it often means manipulation or selling an idea.

Similarly, "I was thinking I want to be with you" has been translated by others as an actual plan instead of a wish or desire. ("Think" carries multiple meanings for me depending on context).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
206 Posts
People shape words to suit their own desires, which is why politics can be such a minefield. Like you said, "convince" could mean to provide information or to manipulate, depending on the person's priorities, character, and agenda. Even a seemingly simple conceptual word as "freedom" could range in meaning from anarchy to authoritarianism depending on who you talk to.

This frequently leads to frustration because the meaning of words isn't a cut and dry constant. INTPs frequently like to tackle the difficult concepts and hard questions and getting stuck in the mud of word meaning is trite and unimportant.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,253 Posts
I personally do not think this strictly an intp thing. That much should be clear though. But I would hazard a slight guess that intps experience this more than others. Yes, I have and do experience it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
217 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I personally do not think this strictly an intp thing. That much should be clear though. But I would hazard a slight guess that intps experience this more than others. Yes, I have and do experience it.
yes, lets say INTPs actually notice this
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,180 Posts
I never really noticed myself but I've been told by countless people that I talk "different"(usually they say they like it too? Weird.) but when I ask for specifics so I can figure out -HOW- I talk "different" no one really has any answers.

My dad, though, in a conversation on the importance of speaking multiple languages, listed "fluent in Rozi" as one of the many tongues he considers himself skilled in and elaborated that I tend to use words differently than most people. After that I started paying more attention and there have definitely been times where I've seen it happen.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,706 Posts
Yes, I find words to be those hollow symbols that don't express anything more often than not, while people cling to words as if reality would not exist without them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,448 Posts
Something interesting that I noticed so far is people usually tend to interpret our words differently from what we are trying to convey.

Ok this is a conversation between me and my INFP friend

INFP friend: I am going on a date this Saturday and I want you to come along
Me: I think I won't be able to make it on saturday, I'm sorry
INFP friend: Ok fine then!


Actually I couldn't make it on Saturday because I have classes on Saturday. And my INFP friend is upset at me because she totally interpret my words into something else instead.

So you see, people tend to interpret our words differently from what we are trying to convey.

We may be trying to say one thing, but they often interpret our words into something else. I guess what I have learnt from this is to find out people's interpretation style, and then adapt your communication style based on their interpretation style.
This is the only way to avoid misunderstandings, I guess.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
217 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Something interesting that I noticed so far is people usually tend to interpret our words differently from what we are trying to convey.

Ok this is a conversation between me and my INFP friend

INFP friend: I am going on a date this Saturday and I want you to come along
Me: I think I won't be able to make it on saturday, I'm sorry
INFP friend: Ok fine then!


Actually I couldn't make it on Saturday because I have classes on Saturday.

So you see, people tend to interpret our words differently from what we are trying to convey.

We may be trying to say one thing, but they often interpret our words into something else. I guess what I have learnt from this is to find out people's interpretation style, and then adapt your communication style based on their interpretation style.
This is the only way to avoid misunderstandings, I guess.
What response do you expect?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,448 Posts
What response do you expect?
I don't know, but if it's me in this situation, I would have tried to arrange another day or something instead of getting angry at my friend. Moreover, my INFP friend also knew that I have classes on Saturday, I have told her about it before, so I was really surprised by her reaction. If my friend has classes on that day and couldn't accompany me on that day, I would smile and say something along the lines of "It's ok" and at least tried to be understanding. So I don't understand her reaction.
By the way, forget to mention this, but her "ok fine then!" is actually said in a harsh tone rather than a gentle tone.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
217 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
What response do you expect?
I don't know, but if it's me in this situation, I would have tried to arrange another day or something instead of getting angry at my friend. Moreover, my INFP friend also knew that I have classes on Saturday, I have told her about it before, so I was really surprised by her reaction. If my friend has classes on that day and couldn't accompany me on that day, I would smile and say something along the lines of "It's ok" and at least tried to be understanding. So I don't understand her reaction.
Ok, sounds like you're disappointed your friend didn't dig deeper to find out why, and just took your answer at face value.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,168 Posts
My definition of "medium-rare" is often at odds with other people's understanding of the term.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
457 Posts
No. That's counterproductive to the entire concept of communicating. Please try and abide by the language we've all agreed upon.
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
Top