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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just had a few questions regarding NFs and experiencing emotions. I asked my INFP boyfriend and ENFP friend these questions the other night and thought the contrast between their experiences and my own were interesting; I'm curious if your experiences with emotions are similar to theirs.

1. Do you automatically realize when you are experiencing an emotion?

2. When you realize that you're experiencing an emotion, can you quickly label that emotion or do you have to give it some thought?
(e.g. I am feeling joyful/happy/depressed/upset/hurt/jealous/etc. Or conversely, I know that I am feeling an emotion but I'm not exactly sure what it is at this moment.)

3. Do you always know why you are experiencing that emotion; can you pinpoint the situation/circumstances that caused you to feel that way?
 

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Just had a few questions regarding NFs and experiencing emotions. I asked my INFP boyfriend and ENFP friend these questions the other night and thought the contrast between their experiences and my own were interesting; I'm curious if your experiences with emotions are similar to theirs.

1. Do you automatically realize when you are experiencing an emotion?

2. When you realize that you're experiencing an emotion, can you quickly label that emotion or do you have to give it some thought?
(e.g. I am feeling joyful/happy/depressed/upset/hurt/jealous/etc. Or conversely, I know that I am feeling an emotion but I'm not exactly sure what it is at this moment.)

3. Do you always know why you are experiencing that emotion; can you pinpoint the situation/circumstances that caused you to feel that way?
No, I absolutely do not automatically realise I am experiencing an emotion. I generally feel neutral, sometimes I can get a general background feeling (generally either joy or melancholy), but normally nothing... Untill they build up so badly that they suddenly come out like a stealthy predator suddenly attacking. Generally, when that happens, my emotions are extreme but very basic, like the colour scheme of a toddler's drawing; primary colours - primary emotions. Extatic joy, extreme rage, overwhelming sadness or blind love. Often times, when these occur, I immediately attribute them to what provoked it, but that is generally wrong. The situation or person that provokes the emotion is normally just "the straw that broke the camel's back".... and this straw is the one that gets the blunt force of my emotions bursting out.

It takes some time for me to figure out what it is exactly that got me out of neutral straight into fifth gear, emotionnaly. Replaying the situation in my head, I go on an "automatic idea association" ride and then write it all down. That way, when I re-read myself, I understand better what it is that got me to that point, and also add some hues to my feelings (ex. I am super sad because I feel hurt and betrayed by such and such).

I don't know if this helps or not, or is just confusing... It's a confusing way to live, even if I've always been like this, but I now keep a journal every day, to try and identify emotions before they break the surface unexpectedly... It's too early to say if it works or not, hasn't been long enough.
 

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Oh I'm in the wrong subforum.
lol

I have a question for you, since I don't know what it's like to know all the time how you're feeling. Do you find that this proximity with your emotions makes social interactions easier? Like, if you were unsure of how you were feeling most of the time, would you find it more or less difficult to go out and interact with society as you are also an introvert.
 

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lol

I have a question for you, since I don't know what it's like to know all the time how you're feeling. Do you find that this proximity with your emotions makes social interactions easier? Like, if you were unsure of how you were feeling most of the time, would you find it more or less difficult to go out and interact with society as you are also an introvert.
It's seems like it would be easier to not know.... Rather than feeling sad or angry and then try to go to work or something while I'm all "in my feelings" and my thoughts are muddled in that frame of mind.. To just feel a strange twinge inside and not know why, I could just ignore it and keep going on about my life.

Does that answer your question at all? It is a bit of an abstract thought for me to imagine not knowing what or why I am feeling. Do people just not feel anything? Or is it that they feel so many different things at once it's overwhelming and unidentifiable...

Just realized this was asked by an ENTP so of course, probably they just feel nothing, ha.
 

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It's seems like it would be easier to not know.... Rather than feeling sad or angry and then try to go to work or something while I'm all "in my feelings" and my thoughts are muddled in that frame of mind.. To just feel a strange twinge inside and not know why, I could just ignore it and keep going on about my life.

Does that answer your question at all? It is a bit of an abstract thought for me to imagine not knowing what or why I am feeling. Do people just not feel anything? Or is it that they feel so many different things at once it's overwhelming and unidentifiable...

Just realized this was asked by an ENTP so of course, probably they just feel nothing, ha.
lol, I am presently in the ugly end to a relationship with an ENTP, si I am not really going to comment on that (try to stay neutral untill I heal), but I can say that they actually do have emotions. :)

I don't just "not feel anything"... I think that would be kinda sociopathic... But life sometimes feels like if you are walking around all day wearing shoes that are a size too small without knowing it. You get uncomfortable, and then pains slowly creeps in, but you only realise the shoes are the problem once you get blisters, they pop and your toes are bleeding... If that analogy makes any sense to you...

I find it interesting that we both seem to be seing the grass greener on the other side. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
No, I absolutely do not automatically realise I am experiencing an emotion. I generally feel neutral, sometimes I can get a general background feeling (generally either joy or melancholy), but normally nothing... Untill they build up so badly that they suddenly come out like a stealthy predator suddenly attacking. Generally, when that happens, my emotions are extreme but very basic, like the colour scheme of a toddler's drawing; primary colours - primary emotions. Extatic joy, extreme rage, overwhelming sadness or blind love. Often times, when these occur, I immediately attribute them to what provoked it, but that is generally wrong. The situation or person that provokes the emotion is normally just "the straw that broke the camel's back".... and this straw is the one that gets the blunt force of my emotions bursting out.

It takes some time for me to figure out what it is exactly that got me out of neutral straight into fifth gear, emotionnaly. Replaying the situation in my head, I go on an "automatic idea association" ride and then write it all down. That way, when I re-read myself, I understand better what it is that got me to that point, and also add some hues to my feelings (ex. I am super sad because I feel hurt and betrayed by such and such).

I don't know if this helps or not, or is just confusing... It's a confusing way to live, even if I've always been like this, but I now keep a journal every day, to try and identify emotions before they break the surface unexpectedly... It's too early to say if it works or not, hasn't been long enough.
Thank you for sharing.
You're experience with "primary emotions" and feeling them with extreme intensity is interesting to me; it certainly is much different from my own experience. I'm definitely familiar with a wide range of feelings and they certainly vary in intensity but are very often extreme. I'm also really impressed that you write it all down, that takes so much commitment.


It's seems like it would be easier to not know.... Rather than feeling sad or angry and then try to go to work or something while I'm all "in my feelings" and my thoughts are muddled in that frame of mind.. To just feel a strange twinge inside and not know why, I could just ignore it and keep going on about my life.

Does that answer your question at all? It is a bit of an abstract thought for me to imagine not knowing what or why I am feeling. Do people just not feel anything? Or is it that they feel so many different things at once it's overwhelming and unidentifiable...

Just realized this was asked by an ENTP so of course, probably they just feel nothing, ha.
Whoa whoa whoa. I just posted this thread to have a good time and I am feeling so attacked right now!
:tongue:

"It is a bit of an abstract thought for me to imagine not knowing what or why I am feeling."
It's abstract for me to imagine always knowing what I feel and why. It's certainly a strength that you have ability to do so.

lol, I am presently in the ugly end to a relationship with an ENTP, si I am not really going to comment on that (try to stay neutral untill I heal), but I can say that they actually do have emotions. :)

I don't just "not feel anything"... I think that would be kinda sociopathic... But life sometimes feels like if you are walking around all day wearing shoes that are a size too small without knowing it. You get uncomfortable, and then pains slowly creeps in, but you only realise the shoes are the problem once you get blisters, they pop and your toes are bleeding... If that analogy makes any sense to you...

I find it interesting that we both seem to be seing the grass greener on the other side. :)
I'm sorry to hear about your relationship; I hope you find someone worthy of your love!
 

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1. Do you automatically realize when you are experiencing an emotion?

To a degree, yes. But on the other hand, no. I think I often realize when something within my psyche is 'different', when it doesn't match the norm. It is like I have a baseline emotional state and as long as everything is fine, it remains at that level and I am good. When I am experiencing something out of the ordinary, it comes across as being 'off' somehow, but it takes a considerable amount of effort to comprehend exactly what the problem is.

2. When you realize that you're experiencing an emotion, can you quickly label that emotion or do you have to give it some thought?
I cannot quickly identify the emotion, and they are often so complex that I can only explain them by means of metaphors or similes. It is also quite a complicated matter because it is often a reaction to complex social factors that cause my emotional disequilibrium.

3. Do you always know why you are experiencing that emotion; can you pinpoint the situation/circumstances that caused you to feel that way?
No, it generally takes quite a bit of time, and I will have to spend that time in quiet contemplation away from other people.
 

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1. Hmmm, I think the question is sort of awkward in the way that it is not like I sit and analyze my emotions, they are pretty much there floating and in a continuous flow. I am not detached from those emotions. However, yes, I am at all times aware what I feel if I did give a thought about it. I don't think I ever not feel anything, perhaps with the exception of being in flow with work and that happens quite rarely >.>' and that sort of has its own feel anyway.

2. Hmm, again. The question feels awkward, lol. Based on the emotion, I would like to give it thought to nail all the fine details, but even then yes I am quick to label them. There are usually a few layers to it and why I experience them. It doesn't take long at all to identify. It is just a matter of you feeling comfortable with the real reasons underneath, say if you are jealous, you might not want to face that fact but it is there. Very rare times, I have a mood that doesn't make sense, like feeling happy for no particular reason, I blame my biology or I think maybe I had a dream and that subconsciously set my mood for the day.

3. Yes. I think learning about childhood motivations, such as enneagram has helped to find a deeper layer to things recently but I have never had difficulty figuring things out. Except that if I have too much flow of emotions and too much confusion, such as me having a crush I may have difficulty catching up with reasons, I just get stupid :)

I am not saying these because I am a Fi-dom but really, emotions are quite explored maps to me, even when they are always different and tinted with different shades. It is a continuum I live in, they are not detached to analyze further as if they are occasional visitors in my life :p
 

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1. Do you automatically realize when you are experiencing an emotion?

Yes, my life is ruled by how I feel.

2. When you realize that you're experiencing an emotion, can you quickly label that emotion or do you have to give it some thought?
(e.g. I am feeling joyful/happy/depressed/upset/hurt/jealous/etc. Or conversely, I know that I am feeling an emotion but I'm not exactly sure what it is at this moment.)

Yes, I do it subconsciously.

3. Do you always know why you are experiencing that emotion; can you pinpoint the situation/circumstances that caused you to feel that way?

Yes, always. Easily. Even if I'm in denial about how I feel, I secretly know why I feel that way.
 

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1. Do you automatically realize when you are experiencing an emotion?

Yep.

2. When you realize that you're experiencing an emotion, can you quickly label that emotion or do you have to give it some thought?
(e.g. I am feeling joyful/happy/depressed/upset/hurt/jealous/etc. Or conversely, I know that I am feeling an emotion but I'm not exactly sure what it is at this moment.)


Not every emotion has a name but I can identify what it is without words internally.

3. Do you always know why you are experiencing that emotion; can you pinpoint the situation/circumstances that caused you to feel that way?

No, this is what I struggle with... although I'm beginning to wonder if that's because I don't know what causes it or because there's something wrong with me and my emotions just don't have any rational reason for being. sometimes I feel like shit and there's nothing that could have triggered that. Even then there have been times where I'll wake up the next day and realise "It's what my friend said that made me uncomfortable", much in the same way that you suddenly think of that great comeback to an insult.

I'm curious how your NFs answered.
 

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I only notice my emotions when I'm already acting on them. Raising my voice, laughing, feeling a hot sensation, brisker movements, moist eyes... stuff like that. I'm lucky my girlfriend is so much better at noticing my behavioural trends than me. It means that she can often tip me off on my own emotions before I do something I can regret.
 

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I'm not always aware of my mental state. Or, I am, but almost never aware of what triggers it when it turns bad. A lot of days, I just have a low energy, irritable, non-enthusiastic vibe I can't seem to shake off.
 

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1. Do you automatically realize when you are experiencing an emotion?
Yes!

2. When you realize that you're experiencing an emotion, can you quickly label that emotion or do you have to give it some thought?
I can quickly label it. Very rarely do I have to give it thought.

3. Do you always know why you are experiencing that emotion; can you pinpoint the situation/circumstances that caused you to feel that way?
Yes. Occasionally the emotion will be wrapped up in past experiences, so that will take a bit longer to truly sort out the source. Sort of like having to go through several files to find it, but it’s still there for me to access.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I'm curious how your NFs answered.


1. Do you automatically realize when you are experiencing an emotion?

INFP: "Yes, always." (And then he proceeded to look at me like I'm insane)
ENFP: "Not really, most of the time someone has to point out a change in my behavior and then I realize that I'm feeling a certain way."

2. When you realize that you're experiencing an emotion, can you quickly label that emotion or do you have to give it some thought?

INFP: "For the most part, yes."
ENFP: "The ones that I'm familiar with, yes. Others I have to give a bit of thought to."

3. Do you always know why you are experiencing that emotion; can you pinpoint the situation/circumstances that caused you to feel that way?

INFP and ENFP: "Yes."
 

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1. I usually do, though I may miss them if I'm too preoccupied with things happening in the external world. But anytime i'm not currently focused on something else my thoughts automatically refocus inwards..
Its like i'm always subconciously checking for emotion status update.

2. It really depends and is very situational. Simple emotions are easy to identify. But emotions are not always obvious and some require more conscious thought to sort out.

3. Well I think, no, feel that I can. But I'm not always 100% accurate about the cause. If my subconscious is determined to lie to my conscious self then it will. I think infp can be prone to this, like the subconscious would rather lead you astray than adapt to do what is best/right. I can always pinpoint the circumstances that led to me feeling that way though. .
 
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