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I've always thought of you guys as very expressive and I've kinda envied that as I find it hard to express myself so I internalise a lot of things. But talking to my ENFP sister she says she hides a lot of things even though she knows she comes off as if she readily shares things and has nothing to hide. I've heard the same thing from other ENFPs also. I was just wondering why this is as I tried to ask my sister but she kinda changed the subject and I didn't want to pry.
 

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Although I seem content and happy with life, there is a darker shade to my emotions. I guess I bottle them up for the sake of those around me. I tend to hurt people when I'm in a negative and destructive mood; I completely lose control of myself and I freak out people for kicks and giggles.

There have been some sad and exhausting moments that just wears ENFP's out. If you only know an ENFP as a happy-go-lucky person, then you don't really know them at all. We are prone to sadness as much as anyone else. We just tend to hide it better.

I feel like a burden if I tell anyone about my petty problems.
 

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I was touched inappropriately by an older boy when I was 5... I didn't tell anyone until I was in my 20s. >.> It was always there, something dark and unpleasant that affected my ability to be comfortable around guys my age, but I just hid it. So absolutely yes. I actually told my INTJ sister-in-law because there was a daytime talk show on about people who had been molested and she made a comment about not understanding how anyone could keep that to themselves. I understood...and I explained it....then I told her how I knew.
 

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Although I seem content and happy with life, there is a darker shade to my emotions. I guess I bottle them up for the sake of those around me. I tend to hurt people when I'm in a negative and destructive mood; I completely lose control of myself and I freak out people for kicks and giggles.

There have been some sad and exhausting moments that just wears ENFP's out. If you only know an ENFP as a happy-go-lucky person, then you don't really know them at all. We are prone to sadness as much as anyone else. We just tend to hide it better.

I feel like a burden if I tell anyone about my petty problems.

It is funny to hear people describe my ENFP dad. They all keep saying how happy he was. That's not what I saw. I saw a very sad, even lonely man.

I would encourage ENFPs to deal with their problems early on in life. My dad went through a horrible mid-life crisis that hurt a lot of people. In my experience, it is best for them not to bottle their problems up for years. I have seen a lot of ENFPs make poor choices early on in life to try to hide their problems and then realize later on they made those poor choices and try to correct them which hurts a lot of people.
 

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QUEEN PEEN
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It depends. If it has to do with my health, well-being, or private life, I instantly want to bottle it up. I'm working on it though.
 

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I come off as if I share everything, but really there is so so so much that I keep to myself, feelings-wise.

I just feel like I don't want to burden anyone with all of it, and also I don't think people would understand...and I don't want to be let down by that.
 

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The answer: Fi
I keep a lot in. I know it isn't healthy. I am a lot better than I used to be.
I'm with you dreams. It has nothing to do with not having the people to listen either, as i could get in touch with many people who would listen if need be. I think Fi is wired internally to be private regardless of how much we would want to spill everything. For me it isn't natural to be emo externally, my Fi says no, its not necessary. Even when my Te says, well maybe you should, my Fi is still demanding, nope, don't do it. Now with people i'm really close with there is an exception to that, then again i don't trust easy either, especially with personal things which in my opinion is all related and an extension to the heart/core. So don't pry or try and make me open up with Fi unless i want that to happen.
 

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First off, I want to thank you for this post.

I was born with a genetic disorder and, thus, a lot of health problems. It took me my whole childhood, a major depressive episode that I was hospitalized for, and countless years of therapy for me to learn how to not internalize things.

The reason your sister might not have been able to answer your question, is that she might not even know the answer herself. I wasn't even able to identify a lot of the emotions I was feeling, let alone talk about them. Now, I'm the complete opposite; I'm like a waterfall when talking about my emotions. And yes, I know that the sum of depression is a lot more then just identifying and talking about your emotions-but it's a huge step. It's still a struggle at times, but I'm determined, working hard and taking it one day at a time.

I don't know if this helped you at all, but it was a great release and it's a great comfort to know that I'm not the only ENFP who has had issues with internalizing things.
 

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His Majesty
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I'm with you dreams. It has nothing to do with not having the people to listen either, as i could get in touch with many people who would listen if need be. I think Fi is wired internally to be private regardless of how much we would want to spill everything. For me it isn't natural to be emo externally, my Fi says no, its not necessary. Even when my Te says, well maybe you should, my Fi is still demanding, nope, don't do it. Now with people i'm really close with there is an exception to that, then again i don't trust easy either, especially with personal things which in my opinion is all related and an extension to the heart/core. So don't pry or try and make me open up with Fi unless i want that to happen.
I want to be able to release my feelings more. But the darn Fi is just so strong!
 

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But talking to my ENFP sister she says she hides a lot of things even though she knows she comes off as if she readily shares things and has nothing to hide.
Yep yep yep.

Granted, a lot of this is predicated on context - e.g. who is around and do I trust them - but for the most part I'm a fairly open book... to a certain point. There's a lot I hold back, especially on certain topics (love/relationships/self-identity/likelihood of an interdimensional alien invasion of the solar system).
 

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Yep yep yep.

Granted, a lot of this is predicated on context - e.g. who is around and do I trust them - but for the most part I'm a fairly open book... to a certain point. There's a lot I hold back, especially on certain topics (love/relationships/self-identity/likelihood of an interdimensional alien invasion of the solar system).
I am a open book. There are 10 chapters in this "book" but I only let you read the first 8. People in my inner circle have read chapter 9 & 10.
 

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I share only if it's in my best interest. Some things are best left unsaid.
For the most part I'm an open book. However, I have learned that keeping things in can cause anxiety in the people around you. Especially children because they "sense" something isn't right and because they are incapable of reasoning and rationalizing deeply then they assume the problem is "them". I always assumed its best to hold something in for the sake of the children but I have learned its best to say "hey, I had a bad day at work and feel frustrated but it's normal once in awhile to have these days and it passes". Making sure to include "it passes" helps them feel stable.

Anyway, it's an actual tendency to hold some things in but I have been a little better at expressing it and being reassuring about it and it helps the family a lot.
 

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I would say I appear,and on the whole am, a very joyful optimistic person. I jump, sing and act all happy generally, but i do find myself constantly hiding negative emotions. For example, if one of my friends offended me, I would pretend I didn't mind, but inside I do. Sometimes I guess I find it easier to hide things that are negative, while I spill everything happy out of my ears.

Being honest though, I am exceedingly happy at the moment, so:

 

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Holly, you extrovert through Fe, but you need to make sure you aren't doing whatever the "group wants" always.

Your primary function is Ni, and you need to constantly show that in your personality, or you will feel bad...

Some people will think you're weird, but it doesn't matter. Show people your Ni while extroverting through Fe.

That is simply the only way to live.
 

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I've always thought of you guys as very expressive and I've kinda envied that as I find it hard to express myself so I internalise a lot of things. But talking to my ENFP sister she says she hides a lot of things even though she knows she comes off as if she readily shares things and has nothing to hide. I've heard the same thing from other ENFPs also. I was just wondering why this is as I tried to ask my sister but she kinda changed the subject and I didn't want to pry.
Ill tell you something about me I hide everything that I dislike about my life and share only what I truly like or am proud of. I like to create an image of confidence which I do pretty well but I'm scared inside of everything that could possibly go wrong I think out aloud but when it comes to emotions I battle within myself. I like the anonymity of this forum I can discuss intimate details with some degree of confidentiality, I hide my true self from the world scared that I will be rejected.
 
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